EyeSeeU Posted August 30, 2007 Report Share Posted August 30, 2007 And so the plot thickens... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMac Posted August 30, 2007 Report Share Posted August 30, 2007 Judging by how all of you are enjoying this, I sure wish I could read. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raargant Posted August 30, 2007 Report Share Posted August 30, 2007 Judging by how all of you are enjoying this' date=' I sure wish I could read.[/quote'] *scratch* It's on the stories forum. Why wouldn't you be able to read? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EyeSeeU Posted August 30, 2007 Report Share Posted August 30, 2007 Maybe he really just can't read, but then why would he be playing a text based mud? I don't get it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMac Posted August 30, 2007 Report Share Posted August 30, 2007 Yeah, I can't read. I'm illiterate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EyeSeeU Posted August 30, 2007 Report Share Posted August 30, 2007 Yeah' date=' I can't read. I'm illiterate.[/quote'] Actually to be illiterate you would also have to be poorly educated aswell as not knowing how to read and write aswell. So I hate to burst your bubble, but I just don't see you fitting under this definition. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raargant Posted August 30, 2007 Report Share Posted August 30, 2007 Unless someone else is reading the forums/mud screen for you... o.o Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EyeSeeU Posted August 30, 2007 Report Share Posted August 30, 2007 If thats the case then GOD help us all! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMac Posted August 30, 2007 Report Share Posted August 30, 2007 I use voice recognition software. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evangelion Posted August 30, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 30, 2007 Actually, literacy is more commonly defined as the ability to use language. Therefore, you wouldn't be able to MUD effectively, voice software or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tantangel Posted August 31, 2007 Report Share Posted August 31, 2007 He likes the fancy colors. And red just happens to be his favorite so he tries to fight anything and hopes to see big flashing red at him as much as possible. DKs love his characters because he randomly hits keys and thinks he's doing awesome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kinicky Posted September 2, 2007 Report Share Posted September 2, 2007 OK, I'm going to give my thoughts on what I see Matheius character as thus far, and follow that with what I think might be neat to see (as far as character development). Matheius is intensely disciplined, and very introspective. He does not like letting people in to see what he really thinks/feels, ESPECIALLY when he is trying to figure it all out himself. He strikes me as one who is very motivated, defines his goal/purpose, and then pushes to accomplish it come hell or high water. However, he currently has NO purpose. He doesn't understand (entirely) where he is, nor does he like it. But while that may be the case, he has not committed in any way to changing it (yet). Therefore, he seems to be going from one point to another simply because he doesn't know what else to do, as opposed to defining a purpose and making decisions to pursue that purpose. For the moment, that fits - largely because he is in a daze, as far as I see it. However, as things progress, he will have to come to terms with himself and his surroundings and begin taking control and making active decisions. With someone of his skill and experience not just in battle, but in LEADING battles, it would not tie in well with his character to simply arrive at his destination by chance. I will be interested to see what event or epiphany forces him to make that decision. In addition, and perhaps in extension, he seems to be VERY focused on control. Control over his outer circumstances to a lesser extent, but PARTICULARLY control over himself. As you said before, he is not one to wear his heart on his sleeve. This, however, brings up a dichotomy where Eliana is involved. In this past chapter, plainly put, Matheius completely lost control of himself. In my estimation of the character I have seen thus far, howling at the sky and chasing after an image to the limits of his own stamina seems out of character with one who makes decisions in a very calculating way. Even the battle he maintained with the torment (Am I right in assuming we are in the Forsaken Lands, after being harried to the future by Savant in some manner who, after all, controls time?) was one of emotion, not decision. He was completely overwhelmed with his emotional state and made decisions that, in a distant part of him, he was aware were not decisions based on sound judgement (ie. using the Call of the Pack in front of Frost. He didn't want to do that yet - but he wasn't really in control of himself, was he?). He surrounds himself with a thick skin and operates in cold, calculating ways - until Elaiana enters the picture. And here, then, is the real enigma. Elaiana seems to be the catalyst for deeply irrational behavior (perhaps it was the same in the past? I look forward to discovering WHY he slew his friend and lover...). And while Elaiana prompts irrational behavior, the very THOUGHT of tainting her memory pushes deeper than that - to uncharacteristically violent behavior (Merciful swordsman? Against the torment, he was engorged with bloodlust that had nothing to do with the torment's evil, so much as it did with the threat of sullying Elaiana's memory). So Elaiana, then, has the capacity to break down all forms of self restraint and shift Matheius into an almost completely different individual. That could prove interesting... With all of this in mind then, I make the following thoughts/suggestions for upcoming chapters. 1. At some point, Matheius must actively choose his path, and shift from being reactive to becoming proactive. He is, after all, a trained leader. 2. It might be very interesting to see if Elaiana proves to be a strength for Matheius - or a glaring weakness. Can enemies use this knowledge to penetrate a chink in his armor? 3. If another possible love interest was introduced, it would produce intriguing conflict deep within Matheius. After all, would not the introduction of a new love threaten to replace his old one, and therefore threaten to sully her memory? Is this not the very thing he so violently seeks to protect? Or, perhaps, this is his only way to heal... Your book. And I can't wait for the next chapter. These are just my thoughts, feel free to use or discard what you will. Keep up the awesome work! Kudos, Kinicky Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raargant Posted September 3, 2007 Report Share Posted September 3, 2007 Thank you for your comments and analysis, Kinicky. In some ways you are correct, in some ways, you are not, regarding Matheius' character. What I WILL say, though, is that although in some ways, here and there, there is minor 'borrowing' from the world of FL, for the most part, do not think of the two as being one and the same. I'm kinda busy, or I would've responded more in depth. Regardless, Chapter 7 is coming up now. Enjoy and remember to R&R! Chapter 7 is up: Even the Mighty Shall Tremble Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kinicky Posted September 4, 2007 Report Share Posted September 4, 2007 Ozymandias? King? Ruins? Look ye mighty, and despair? I am suddenly reminded of a poem... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
corpsestomp Posted September 4, 2007 Report Share Posted September 4, 2007 I think when you say glamour, you mean glamer? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evangelion Posted September 4, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 4, 2007 Just finished reading it. And I hate you. I want to be able to read all this at once. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raargant Posted September 4, 2007 Report Share Posted September 4, 2007 RE corpsestomp: Nope. I have no idea what glamer is (is that an actual word?). Glamour in archaic English means enchantment, often of an illusory, charming nature. This is where the modern meaning of glamour as being charming or alluring comes from. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raargant Posted September 4, 2007 Report Share Posted September 4, 2007 RE Kinicky: Yes, that poem is one of my favorites, definitely. I think I actually posted it on the forum two weeks ago or so. I definitely have a soft spot for that poem, and all the vividness that it entails. RE Balinor: I thought you quit reading . More seriously though, I should be done in approximately two months or so. If you can hold out for that long, you can just wait to read it all at once. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
corpsestomp Posted September 4, 2007 Report Share Posted September 4, 2007 Well, I know I've seen it in DnD...but I can't be bothered to look around right now. Basically, it's an illusion of some kind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kinicky Posted September 4, 2007 Report Share Posted September 4, 2007 I think when you say glamour' date=' you mean glamer?[/quote'] Taken from http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=glamer 1. glamer A portmanteau of gamer and lame, to describe the sort of individual for whom gaming is not simply a hobby, but an unhealthy obsession. They are typically reclusive and possessing minimal social skills. They are also typically rather immature, and may base a good portion of their self-image on their performance in multiplayer games. Suddenly it all makes sense... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raargant Posted September 4, 2007 Report Share Posted September 4, 2007 Ran a few google checks. Glamer does appear as an illusion type in DnD, but solely for DnD, and there aren't that many hits either; I wonder if it's a misspelling or a DnD-specific adaptation of glamour. Either way, thanks for the note Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raargant Posted September 6, 2007 Report Share Posted September 6, 2007 Updated to Chapter 8: The Shining Walls of Sarkham. This chapter is relatively slow, focusing more on character development as well as seguing to a new venue. Can you catch the name which makes a cameo appearance? I'll bet you can! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Questioner Posted September 6, 2007 Report Share Posted September 6, 2007 That...was...the...shortest...chapter...ever... Just for the sake of R&R: There are some many good points brought up in this chapter. It revives any past references to his predicament and leads to a new character as well. Obviously, if Tery was just a regular washboy, you wouldn't have named him anything other than 'the washboy'. But I hate the fact that all the chapters have conistent length with the developing of the plot/history/setting until Chpt 8. Perhaps explain how he came into the city/stable/bathhouse? However, there may be a perfectly good reason to limit the amount of information you place in this chapter, if that then I have no other criticisms at the moment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raargant Posted September 6, 2007 Report Share Posted September 6, 2007 Actually, Questioner, this was a slightly above average length chapter, at roughly 4800 words. Shortest chapter ever was chapter 3 at roughly 3000, then chapter 4 at 3800. It probably just felt short because not a whole lot happened, as I admitted; it was something of an interlude chapter; a 'last breath', if you will. It's good that it felt short; since not a whole lot happened, it'd be rather boring it felt long. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Warmongrel Posted September 7, 2007 Report Share Posted September 7, 2007 Hey, I don't read, but you got me glued to it, thanks a lot! I got work in two hours, hrmph. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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