Lailanni Posted September 7, 2007 Report Share Posted September 7, 2007 I haven't had much time at the puter lately so I'm only on ch. 2, but so far it's really a good read. I just wish I could print it out so I could read it during breaks at work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raargant Posted September 8, 2007 Report Share Posted September 8, 2007 Try copy/pasting it to a word file, then printing it from the word file. Or is your company anal about non-work related use of the printer? Btw guys, due to somewhat slowed down writing due to polishing and repolishing Chapter 11 so that it feels the way I want for it to feel, I may only release one chapter the next week (depends on if I can finish two in these two days!). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evangelion Posted September 10, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 10, 2007 It's technically Monday... POST! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raargant Posted September 10, 2007 Report Share Posted September 10, 2007 Not on the west coast it aint. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evangelion Posted September 10, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 10, 2007 If I had wanted your opinion, I would have told you what it was. Now post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raargant Posted September 10, 2007 Report Share Posted September 10, 2007 In an hours time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evangelion Posted September 10, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 10, 2007 Ggggrrrrrr!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raargant Posted September 10, 2007 Report Share Posted September 10, 2007 The story has been updated. Chapter 9, The Divine Archer's Temple, has been added. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Questioner Posted September 10, 2007 Report Share Posted September 10, 2007 Oh Crap! I just noticed I skipped half a chapter! No wonder I thought the 8th chapter was so short. "WAP!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evangelion Posted September 10, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 10, 2007 Just a thought: To add to the mood of the scene with the boy and Kuan's statue, I would make Kuan speak more formally. I noticed you said "Do not expect me or the others to help him out." You can rearrange that, and make it sound a little more formal, and I think it would enhance the mood of the scene. Other than that, very nice as always. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mattamue Posted September 11, 2007 Report Share Posted September 11, 2007 Some things I want to comment on after that chapter. The boy got really talkative - why? He ate a bear before, pointed out Elaiana's ghost, and vanished. Now he's shoving hints into Mat's lap and goading him into action. Is it because the boy is Callori and Calloran at the same time and one sometimes and etc - their different personalities coming out? Just confused why he went from a subtle plot device into an obvious one. Pantheon of the Day - why call it that if the night is forbidden? The first read through for me led to a conclusion about the PoN before Mat's dialogue brought us around to the forbidden ancient explanation. I'm not sure what I expected it to be or the relationship between the two would be but I wasn't expecting a forbidden cult that would get your entire family interrogated. You see, every time you mention the PoD or think about one of the deities in the PoD there's the PoN always there on the other side of it. A reminder every day and night that there's this other dangerous force in the past and if you take the day/night thing through until 'tonight' and 'tomorrow' the PoN is going to be there in the future. Why is it the PoD if just by it's name it makes this ancient forbidden thing considerable? Could be me obsessing. Something I took away from the chapter besides the story. Mat just cut up some spells and we didn't get any details! I wonder if someone who isn't familiar with FL and blademasters would catch onto this. For me, as a FL-player-reader it's expected that he's going to be cutting the **** out of some magic but is another reader going to catch onto that? This is the first time I felt my FL playing changed how the story read. Changing the sword to drinker botched up the meatcarver joke from chapter 1 ^^. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raargant Posted September 11, 2007 Report Share Posted September 11, 2007 The boy got really talkative - why? He ate a bear before' date=' pointed out Elaiana's ghost, and vanished. Now he's shoving hints into Mat's lap and goading him into action. Is it because the boy is Callori and Calloran at the same time and one sometimes and etc - their different personalities coming out? Just confused why he went from a subtle plot device into an obvious one.[/quote'] The simple answer is to not think of him wholly as a plot device, subtle or obvious, but as a character, albeit one who appears infrequently (but was the second one introduced after the Prologue). More, I cannot say for now. Pantheon of the Day - why call it that if the night is forbidden? The first read through for me led to a conclusion about the PoN before Mat's dialogue brought us around to the forbidden ancient explanation. I'm not sure what I expected it to be or the relationship between the two would be but I wasn't expecting a forbidden cult that would get your entire family interrogated. You see' date=' every time you mention the PoD or think about one of the deities in the PoD there's the PoN always there on the other side of it. A reminder every day and night that there's this other dangerous force in the past and if you take the day/night thing through until 'tonight' and 'tomorrow' the PoN is going to be there in the future. Why is it the PoD if just by it's name it makes this ancient forbidden thing considerable? Could be me obsessing. Something I took away from the chapter besides the story.[/quote'] I will consider this, and perhaps changing some things. With regards to the rest, as surely as the sun rises, so too will the sun set. Night always follows day, and precedes it as well. Even in defeat, some things cannot remain wholly forgotten. More will be revealed in the future. Mat just cut up some spells and we didn't get any details! I wonder if someone who isn't familiar with FL and blademasters would catch onto this. For me' date=' as a FL-player-reader it's expected that he's going to be cutting the **** out of some magic but is another reader going to catch onto that? This is the first time I felt my FL playing changed how the story read.[/quote'] Remember that this story borrows some things from FL, but is not set as an 'FL story'. You have in advantage in understanding some things before an explanation is given; however, readers are not 'intended' to know/understand everything as soon as it pops up. Not even poor Tuoh did, rest his soul. Changing the sword to drinker botched up the meatcarver joke from chapter 1 ^^. Meatcarver joke is already deleted on my personal working copy. Thanks muchisimo for the comments! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H&R Posted September 11, 2007 Report Share Posted September 11, 2007 I like where this is going (giggidy giggidy go ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raargant Posted September 13, 2007 Report Share Posted September 13, 2007 Very major update coming later today. Chapter 10: The Bawdry Boat! Chapter 11: Nyx's Kiss! Interlude! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kinicky Posted September 13, 2007 Report Share Posted September 13, 2007 I want it NOOOOOOOW! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raargant Posted September 13, 2007 Report Share Posted September 13, 2007 Unfortunately, my boss is saying the same thing... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grishnak Posted September 13, 2007 Report Share Posted September 13, 2007 You must have a very....interesting work environment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raargant Posted September 13, 2007 Report Share Posted September 13, 2007 Swap 'it' for 'the work done', and you basically got it. Nah, he's actually a really cool fellow. We're just busy as hell this week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raargant Posted September 13, 2007 Report Share Posted September 13, 2007 Okay. The following have been posted. Chapter 10: The Bawdry Boat Chapter 11: Nyx's Kiss Interlude I am changing up the format; I'll probably post chapters in batches now, as opposed to the Monday/Thursday schedule; this is to allow for a more 'real' reading experience instead of being start/stop, start/stop. Which will also allow for a better appraisal with regards to pacing. This also does mean that the next update is coming two weeks from now. Toodles! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H&R Posted September 14, 2007 Report Share Posted September 14, 2007 I liked how it was. Now we have to wait longer between the releases *sigh* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aulian Posted September 14, 2007 Report Share Posted September 14, 2007 yeah I reckon.. Better have 8 chapters done in two weeks.. BECAUSE I SAID SO! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kinicky Posted September 28, 2007 Report Share Posted September 28, 2007 2 weeks was up... yesterday. I'm jonesin' man! The shakes are starting to kick in, and I can't find a bloody healer IRL. Gimme a fix! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raargant Posted September 28, 2007 Report Share Posted September 28, 2007 I've been really busy with work and the new comp. More will come up soon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grishnak Posted October 2, 2007 Report Share Posted October 2, 2007 Withdrawal is setting in. I have nothing to kill my time with at work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H&R Posted October 2, 2007 Report Share Posted October 2, 2007 Yeah, write faster! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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