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Raargant


Evangelion

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  • 3 weeks later...

Alright, gentlemen, the newest chapter is up. Sorry for delay.

Chapter 12: The Sea of Regret

This one is very raw and unedited, so feel free to make criticisms on places where it doesn't seem to flow very well. I will go through and edit it myself when I have the time, of course, but still...:)

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The Willow Forest monastery is supposed to be hundreds of leagues to the west, Matheius thought to himself. How did we get here? He was just about to apologize for trespassing on the monastery grounds, when once again, Frost spoke first. “This can’t be the Willow Forest monastery,” Frost said sharply, a strange look in his eyes. “The monastery was razed half a century ago.”

Matheius stared at Frost. That was something he did not know. The monk confirmed Frost’s words as he laughed gently and nodded. “That is true,” the monk said. “The original Willow Palm monastery was indeed burned to the ground. But so long as there is the Dharma, there is the Sangha. And so long as there is the Sangha, there will always be a Willow Palm monastery.”

I noticed that the name of the monastery changed here from Willow Forest to WIllow Palm. As you read on, it stays Willow Palm for abit, then changes back to being referred to as Willow Forest again. Are the two names interchangeable? Is it known by different names in different places? This brought up a fair amount of questions for me that, if they are not eventually going to be addressed, only served to bring me out of the storyline to ponder the change.

In my opinion, unless the differing names have a deeper meaning that will be revealed later on, keep it simple. Keep it uniform.

Aside from that, I once again found myself drawn into your writing. Very well done. Might I pre-order a copy when it is complete? ;)

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