Speaking of R&R

[Evangelion]

So I have this crazy history professor...

And he basically assigned us this paper, said "Chances are, every single one of you is going to fail this assignment. It will likely be the most difficult assignment you have ever done. Go."

Our job was to read The Epic of Gilgamesh, and write an analytical response, focusing on the following: Who was the author? What is their bias? What is the historical context?

Here's what I wrote:

In an era when kings and queens were not just leaders, but also heroes; when rulers commanded respect and dignity; and when citizens were not apt to question their decisions or abilities; we have the entity that is Gilgamesh. For Gilgamesh, though a possibly non-existent myth of a man, is just that: an entity. He is not just a superhuman, almost deified individual, but rather a representation of all that is right, just, and powerful in the time in which he lived. However, Gilgamesh is not wholly perfect or infallible. He bears with him the fatal flaws that mortality entails, in his pride and foolish quest for immortality. Gilgamesh’s author likely spent their entire lifetime observing humanity, both its strength and flaws, and implanted them into a single being. In this truly epic tale of a man’s crusade for fame and glory amongst his people, Gilgamesh finds himself attached to the quintessential and ultimately endearing sidekick and voice of reason, Enkidu. As shown in Book Three of the Epic, Gilgamesh is prone to wild, dangerous adventures, Enkidu is more reserved and logical. Enkidu attempts to persuade Gilgamesh not to enter the Cedar Forest, in an attempt to preserve his friend: “Enkidu stood up. There were tears in his eyes. ’Elders of Uruk, persuade the king not to go to the Cedar Forest, not to fight the monster Humbaba… Who among men or gods could defeat him?’" Allegedly a mirror image of Gilgamesh, he could almost be defined as the hero’s weaker half. Enkidu is prone to fear and the desire to flee danger, whereas Gilgamesh not only rushes in headlong to meet it, but encourages Enkidu to face it with him. From the great monster Humbaba, guardian of the Cedar Forest, to the Bull of Heaven, sent by Ishtar to punish Gilgamesh for spurning her advances, to his quest for eternal life after witnessing the death of his great friend, Gilgamesh is prone to seek foolish adventures for naught but the sake of pride. This extremely human trait leads to despair when ultimately, Gilgamesh holds the secret to eternal life in his hands, and it is snatched away from him by a the serpent. However, as Gilgamesh is a representative entity, so this occurrence is merely a moral. A lesson to mankind, this tale shows us that it is folly to seek that which no man can have, and that we must, in the end, accept our mortality. The spinner of this somewhat outrageous yarn is not wholly objective, though. He or she gives attention only to the matters that prove Gilgamesh to be flawed. In the beginning they portray Gilgamesh as a mighty king, a muscular and admirable hero, and a legend among men. However, the entire Epic of Gilgamesh is but a description of the troubles that are caused by the foolish pursuits of mortal men. Gilgamesh is nearly overbearing in his pride and his eternal pursuit of glory. Enkidu, intended to be the mirror image of Gilgamesh in musculature and myth, is shown to be weak of mind in the first few moments of the tale, when he finds himself seduced by the priestess Shamhat. “The wild man will approach. Let her use her love-arts. Nature will take its course, and then the animals who knew him in the wilderness will be bewildered, and will leave him forever.” And so the author of Gilgamesh, quite possibly a woman, spends an inordinate amount of detail describing the follies of man, while veiling them in the clever guise of heroic deeds and epic crusades. Whereas the colloquial reader may find themselves lured into the tale as merely another story of legendary heroism, further analysis reveals that the Epic of Gilgamesh reveals the strongest of mankind, at their most vulnerable.

['tarako]

'I think the historical context is kinda vague... but a very well written paper. ive gotten nothing interesting so far.

[BigMac]

You used too many commas. That's a mistake a lot of people make when they're trying to be impressive with their writing.

[L-A]

Your piece (which I haven't read through and won't be able to comment on as I haven't read The Epic of Gilgamesh) is 630 words long.

When I wrote at University that was an introduction to a piece of writing - and a very basic intro at that (usually enforced word limit of 2000 words +/- 10%).

How much analysis do you have to do because in 630 words IMHO you would have done about a bee's d!ck's work or analysis.

Sorry about it sounding so harsh - but it sounds far, far worse if the lecturer write it in red pen across your first draft.

L-A

PS - do a draft and get him to check it, then rewrite with what he wants. The key to doing well in these things is using drafts to work out what the marker expect then writing exactly what they expect to see to fill their HD criteria. Don't be fooled into trying to do 'good work' if you want high marks writing. Give them what they want and take the HDs. Do real thinking on your own time ie at the university bar.

[Raargant]

A number of suggestions and advice from a person whose bread and butter was in writing essays during college. I hope you actually want an honest, blunt advice, since that's what I'm going to give you.

1) As Lay-About said above, your essay is too short. It comes out to less than 2 pages, double spaced; generally speaking, a short college level essay is 4-5 pages.

2) As I repeatedly tell Tantangel, 'paragraph breaks are your friend', and I absolutely mean it.

3) Structure your essay. They should still teach this in high school, and it applies in college.

The structure should go in -general- order:

a) Introduction,

Thesis,

c) Argument,

d) Support for argument,

d1) *(Possible counter-arguments others might make)

d2) *(Counter to the counter-arguments)

e) Conclusion.

*may or may not be necessary, depending on length of essay and complexity, as well as type of essay.

Your essay is rather mish-mashed.

4) Focus your essay on the topic given. This is the most important one, hence the big highlights. Your teacher described the focus as answering the questions "Who was the author? What is their bias? What is the historical context?"

Nearly your entire essay is a character analysis of Gilgamesh, Enkidu, as well as what you think to be the symbolism of the story. Only one line directly addressed the very first question given:

And so the author of Gilgamesh' date=' quite [b']possibly a woman, spends an inordinate amount of detail describing the follies of man, while veiling them in the clever guise of heroic deeds and epic crusades.

If that is the argument you wish to make, that should be the main part of your thesis (the author being a woman biased against men in a male-dominated hierarchical society) at the very beginning, not the end, which your essay should be trying to prove/demonstrate.

In short, to summarize and recap, address the points that your instructor wishes you to focus on.

5) Don't make sweeping statements that you cannot/do not really back up directly. The two that stood out the most were these two:

Gilgamesh’s author likely spent their entire lifetime observing humanity' date=' both its strength and flaws, and implanted them into a single being."[/quote']

And so the author of Gilgamesh' date=' [i']quite possibly a woman[...]

The first statement is nearly impossible to provide evidence for. The second statement, you can possibly make an argument out of, but you'll need to, as I suggested earlier, focus your essay around it.

Don't make sweeping general statements; make statements that you can back up and prove with reasoned, flowing support.

Those are the main issues I would bring up with your essay.

[Evangelion]

Thank you for your criticism.

As far as the length goes, it is supposed to be two pages double spaced. When asked if we could go over the two page limit, the prof. responded, "That depends. How do you feel about failing grades?"

[Raargant]

I see.

Hrm. Difficult to say, then. A two page paper is difficult to do any sort of meaningful analysis for sith.

Depends on if this professor is focusing more on your writing skills, on Gilgamesh itself, or your analytical skills.

Can't help much more if that's what your professor said. Does he allow drafts? Having him review one with you would be good. Either way, the most important part is the highlighted part 4. You can have the most brilliant essay in the world, but if it doesn't address/focus on the topic that the professor assigned, you'll bomb it, grade-wise.

[Tantangel]

Your professor is lazy and I'd be screwed. I often wrote over the 'limit' in my english class because at the end of the semester we had to make a portfolio that was 25 pages long with only 2-3 of our papers and our papers were only supposed to be 5-7 pages long. Made getting 25 pages really hard with 2-3 papers and each only being 5-7 pages long a piece. I didn't read it because there wasn't any paragraphs though, and yeah, I may not ALWAYS use them (especially on the forum lately), but it makes things a lot easier to read and makes grading go by smoother and less of a chance you'll fail the paper. If he expects anyone to get a decent paper on something like that in 2 pages, of course most will fail, not everyone can impact in 2 pages. Doable, but not likely for the average person.

[Chayesh]

Your professor is lazy and I'd be screwed. I often wrote over the 'limit' in my english class because at the end of the semester we had to make a portfolio that was 25 pages long with only 2-3 of our papers and our papers were only supposed to be 5-7 pages long. Made getting 25 pages really hard with 2-3 papers and each only being 5-7 pages long a piece. I didn't read it because there wasn't any paragraphs though' date=' and yeah, I may not ALWAYS use them (especially on the forum lately), but it makes things a lot easier to read and makes grading go by smoother and less of a chance you'll fail the paper. If he expects anyone to get a decent paper on something like that in 2 pages, of course most will fail, not everyone can impact in 2 pages. Doable, but not likely for the average person.[/quote']

"The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do." - Thomas Jefferson

"...brevity is the soul of wit..." - William Shakespeare

Keep to the two page limit. The instructor's not lazy. He's sick of the grandstanding, apple polishing, and general verbose nonsense spewed forth from the word processors of pseudo-intellectual wannabe college freshmen.

[Mattamue]

He sounds like an ***.

[Chayesh]

BTW, just for reference, the definition of hero in classic literature is a protagonist with a "fatal flaw". Whether he overcomes said fatal flaw defines the epic as comedic or tragic. Your statement in your conclusion seems as though you doubt the author's sincerity in casting The Big G as a "hero" when in fact he is the classic definition of one, flaws not withstanding.

[Tantangel]

"The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do." - Thomas Jefferson

"...brevity is the soul of wit..." - William Shakespeare

Keep to the two page limit. The instructor's not lazy. He's sick of the grandstanding, apple polishing, and general verbose nonsense spewed forth from the word processors of pseudo-intellectual wannabe college freshmen.

Yeah, well though I usually wrote more than was required my papers were usually graded and thought of as having a lot of great detail and my English Professor usually only corrected grammar errors and couldn't really think of anything in my papers that could be removed that wouldn't impact the significance of the topic I was writing about. Sirant did a pretty good job at being able to cut to the chase of things and get straight to the point where he probably would only need one page to do the assignment Balinor has to do. Like I said though, it's probably one of those assignments where he basically wants to see how many pages you'll need for the future to actually get anything across and to the point. And if not, well you better hope that you can learn how to get to the point really fast and still make the paper a great read, otherwise you might be in for some pain. I've had Professors like that on both ends and quite frankly I couldn't limit myself that far, but I could generally get to the point about half a page later than the limit which was fine to me.

['tarako]

'Well, if worse comes to worse just do it five paragraph essay style...

IP Topic sentence

IIP Answer ? 1

IIIP Answer ? 2

IVP Answer ? 3

VP Conclusion

[Evangelion]

After showing a draft to my professor, he basically said exactly what you guys did. It was more literary analysis than historical analysis. He said to rewrite it, and base it on one of four aspects: Political, Social, Economical, or Religious.

Here's what I came up with:

In the early years of the Bronze Age, when the citizens of Mesopotamia gave cry to the pagan gods, polytheism was not merely a practice, but a way of life. Even in an epic tale, with deified heroes like Gilgamesh, there is no mortal acceptance of responsibility. In that era, Gods were not much more than glorified tools, to be called upon when a job needed doing, and then left in favor of another God when not needed.

The author of the epic tale of Gilgamesh is not exempt from this practice. Gilgamesh was not borne of a mortal mother. Instead, he was a result of the toiling of a God. “The goddess Aruru, mother of creation, had designed his body, had made him the strongest of men - huge, handsome, radiant, perfect.”# For such a superhuman being, deified by his people and the indomitable ruler of the grand city of Uruk, Gilgamesh could not possibly have been the child of anything but an immortal. And yet, he is not perfect. When Gilgamesh mistreats the people of Uruk, they do not rise and revolt against him, for that would be folly. No, instead they turn to the gods to punish him. “But the people of Uruk cried out to heaven, and their lamentation was heard, the gods are not unfeeling, their hearts were touched, they went to Anu, father of them all, protector of the realm of sacred Uruk, and spoke to him on the people’s behalf.”# This implies that, as in many tales from this age, the people of Uruk actually have a connection to the gods, if not so far as to share direct communication with an immortal being.

Despite the improbability that an immortal being would actually submit to contact with a mortal, this era appears to have an almost tiered hierarchical structure - citizens, the peasants of Uruk; demihumans, King Gilgamesh and Enkidu; and the Gods themselves. Deities are not just beings of worship and acclamation, but rather they are an integral part of the system of daily life. When Gilgamesh beseeches Enkidu to travel with him to the Cedar Forest to slay the demon Humbaba, he first goes to the temple of his goddess mother, Ninsun, and requests her blessing. “Gilgamesh said, ‘Before we leave, let us pay a visit to my mother’s temple, let us go and speak to the lady Ninsun, the wise, the all-knowing. Let us bow before her, let us ask for her blessing and her advice.’”# Even were this simply matriarchal devotion, the implication that Ninsun will lend some of her immortal blessings to the pair clearly shows that the people of Uruk could not survive without the Gods, which also holds true for the pagan worshippers of Bronze Age Mesopotamia. In such a devoutly polytheistic society, the Gods represent facets of every day characteristics, and they are called upon to grant strength and wisdom.

Yet the Gods themselves are not free of desire and temptation. “The goddess Ishtar caught sight of him, she saw how splendid a man he was, her heart was smitten, her loins caught fire.”# Ishtar, goddess though she is, willingly seeks out Gilgamesh and asks him to embrace her as lover and wife. A union of immortal and mortal, though it would be unheard of today, is merely another extension of the increasingly evident hierarchical structure of the Bronze Age. And yet when Gilgamesh refuses, it appears that even the Bronze Age the phrase “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” holds true. For upon Gilgamesh’s rejection of Ishtar’s offer, she seeks to destroy not just Gilgamesh alone, but his palace and all remnants of his existence. “Ishtar said, ‘Please, Father, I beg of you, give me the bull of heaven, just for a little while. I want to bring it to earth, I want it to kill that liar Gilgamesh and destroy his palace.’” These words on the behalf of a god lend credit to the notion that, at least in the Bronze Age, gods are likely not far removed from humans.

And so in conclusion, we reveal that throughout the Bronze Age, the polytheistic culture of Mesopotamia worshipped the Gods and called upon them for strength in all aspects of their lives. However, existentially, gods were not far removed from men, as proven by their extremely uncharacteristic interactions with humans in The Epic of Gilgamesh.

[Dead Voodoo Doll]

For the historical context.

Try to equate Gilgamesh with Nimrod. Interesting concept.

[Grishnak]

I haven't read the second essay yet, and have a feeling it will look and flow much better, but I wanted to offer a couple of opinions from a comparative mythologist.

Gilgamesh is the first, and one of the best, examples of Joseph Campbell's Hero with 1000 Faces. While an interesting argument that a woman devised the epic, I can honestly give a fairly expert opinion that it wouldn't be possible historically. The epic is believed to have originated in many pieces and versions both through spoken and written word. Thus the "author" of the Gilgamesh epic is the society, not any single entity.

You can also speak to the political slant of those who compiled the story, but Gilgamesh reflects the ideals and traditions of a culture. His story is the story of civilization and the gains/losses that came from the change. Enkidu represents the wild, untamed man and Gilgamesh is all that is civilization. The story speaks directly of Enkidu's losses when he became civilized. The beasts no longer ran with him, etc.

There are loads of articles on the mythological implications of Gilgamesh's epic. But as for the author, I think you will be best served realizing that there is and can be no single author of any story that was passed for countless generations through the oral tradition and has now come through language barriers into the English version we know.

[elfdude]

A number of suggestions and advice from a person whose bread and butter was in writing essays during college. I hope you actually want an honest, blunt advice, since that's what I'm going to give you.

1) As Lay-About said above, your essay is too short. It comes out to less than 2 pages, double spaced; generally speaking, a short college level essay is 4-5 pages.

2) As I repeatedly tell Tantangel, 'paragraph breaks are your friend', and I absolutely mean it.

3) Structure your essay. They should still teach this in high school, and it applies in college.

The structure should go in -general- order:

a) Introduction,

Thesis,

c) Argument,

d) Support for argument,

d1) *(Possible counter-arguments others might make)

d2) *(Counter to the counter-arguments)

e) Conclusion.

*may or may not be necessary, depending on length of essay and complexity, as well as type of essay.

Your essay is rather mish-mashed.

4) Focus your essay on the topic given. This is the most important one, hence the big highlights. Your teacher described the focus as answering the questions "Who was the author? What is their bias? What is the historical context?"

Nearly your entire essay is a character analysis of Gilgamesh, Enkidu, as well as what you think to be the symbolism of the story. Only one line directly addressed the very first question given:

If that is the argument you wish to make, that should be the main part of your thesis (the author being a woman biased against men in a male-dominated hierarchical society) at the very beginning, not the end, which your essay should be trying to prove/demonstrate.

In short, to summarize and recap, address the points that your instructor wishes you to focus on.

5) Don't make sweeping statements that you cannot/do not really back up directly. The two that stood out the most were these two:

The first statement is nearly impossible to provide evidence for. The second statement, you can possibly make an argument out of, but you'll need to, as I suggested earlier, focus your essay around it.

Don't make sweeping general statements; make statements that you can back up and prove with reasoned, flowing support.

Those are the main issues I would bring up with your essay.

This is very informative mang, copy pasting dis bitch

[Raargant]

Hope it helps

[Kinicky]

Keep to the two page limit. The instructor's not lazy. He's sick of the grandstanding' date=' apple polishing, and general verbose nonsense spewed forth from the word processors of pseudo-intellectual wannabe college freshmen.[/quote']

And an EXCELLENT example, as well.

[EyeSeeU]

Yeah, I think Raar should be a teacher or something...