Drunk Stories

[Montahg]

As today was my first day off from work in a long time, and I don't have to be at work tomorrow until late, it's about time I got drunk! I thought perhaps we could all share some drunken stories, perhaps the most embarassing thing you've done while drunk. I'll go ahead and give the first story.

Not News: I quit playing 2 months ago or so.

News: I started playing again about 2 days ago.

Drunk Moment: Deykari is my "pk teacher".

So what've you done? And it doesn't need to be related to the game at all

[Twinblades713]

Ahh! Good to have you back man! I don't have a drunk story, but welcome back all the same. Happy Panda (''')()(''')

['tarako]

'My first drunk story will either be thursday, or when i meet up with Dey, you'll hear about it then.

[Guest emp_newb]

My best drunk story that is fl related actually happened when I was sober.

Turkey

[Evangelion]

Alright, so a little background information first:

In our main dining hall, they were having some sort of karaoke fundraiser. I was about to go up and sing "Your Song" (Elton John), when all of a sudden, a vocal major who is very talented and a good friend of mine got up and sang it.

So, fast forward about a week, to the last party I went to before winter break.

I had a lot of alcohol. It's the only time I've ever thrown up after drinking. But at the party, I got into a "sing-off" with this person, for which I was supposedly singing "Your Song". However, from the recounting I have heard, I was apparently singing "Yjmor Szpong" (not the actual lyrics I was singing - intended to represent gibberish).

So, needless to say it was pretty embarrassing to hear about my antics. So I get back to my dorm and head straight to the bathroom, and proceed to puke up everything I've ever eaten (or so it seemed at the time). I then crawl into bed, and promptly pass the **** out.

The kicker is, I was woken up about an hour or two later, around 4AM, because some idiot had burnt popcorn. So I stumbled outside, wrapped in a blanket, and narrowly avoided a still somewhat drunken encounter with the hall director.

The moral of the story? Never go into a drunken sing-off angry.

[Deykari]

- First time I ever got drunk, I woke up in hospital on a drip. That's when I learned I was a lightweight. I remember nothing about the night. I got fined for being 'incapaciated in a public highway'. Police also contacted me asking if I would be interviewed by them and local newspaper with my photo taken to front a campaign on underage binge drinking. I declined.

- Second time I ever got drunk, last thing I remember was walking out of a pub at 11:30 and then waking up at 7:30 in the morning in the middle of a factory courtyard of an industrial estate covered in my own sick.

Safe to say, I've since worked out my limit and I stay well within it, just getting drunk and not hammered (with a very small few exceptions). Seriously, going overboard with alcohol is NOT fun and is extremely scary. Trust me, if you don't know your limits then learn them and don't go over them...

- I have a strong, strong penchant for taking clothes off when really drunk. It seems really funny at the time, but in reality it probably isn't. I've been banned from one of our local nightclubs for 'repeat offending'. When I was on holiday two years ago, I was a little drunk, got naked and then ran across a stage in front of a couple thousand people, then got chased off by the venue staff.

- I have been drunk with two FLers. First, BigMac - we had a few beers throughout the day. By the time we went for chinese, I was pretty buzzed (CMS - cloudy mind syndrome). Second time was with Balinor/Evangelion. Him and I and a few of his friends got pretty drunk (pretty drunk = wasted) when he was over with his class - his class abusing the two of us as we were the only two able to buy alcohol legally. I flaked out on the floor of his room.

- If I have any more than 2 or 3 bottles of beer (or the equivalent) then I can say goodbye to sex and hello to "brewer's droop" - past experiences have proven this to me. Whilst being a massive lightweight has its upsides, it has its downsides (no pun intended) too.

- When I was with my band, we played a pretty big gig on my 18th birthday. The rest of the band kept buying me double scotches prior to the gig, buy the time we went on I was wasted. I was playing chords incorrectly, soloing out of key and on the third song I tripped over the power cable for my amp and unplugged it mid-song. We never got another gig there.

- A pretty sickening story, but not particularly a story of my own - I was once out in a few bars with a few friends a couple weeks ago, one of whom I don’t really hang around with often because we don’t get along and he is notorious for getting wasted and causing trouble. He got so wasted he couldn’t walk properly, so a couple of friends left early to take him home. About 15 minutes later I got a text message telling me to meet them just down the road from the bar asap. I left, and down the road was a large crowd of people stood around somebody laid out on the floor. When I walked over to see what was going on, I saw the guy (my ‘friend’) laid on the floor with his trousers around his ankles, almost entirely covered from the waist down in his own ‘excretion’. Turns out the reason I was asked to get there quickly wasn’t to help get him up and home, but because they wanted me to take a couple photos on my camera for a laugh. I politely declined and my friends managed to get him up, cleaned up a little with his own shirt and then took him home in a taxi. I have never seen anybody s*** themselves (literally) like that before...

There are so many more that I can’t remember.

Dey

[English lad]

To many to recount...English people drink to much, deal with it

When i'm not at work I might put together some of the more acceptable ones for you all to giggle at.

[Deykari]

To many to recount...English people drink to much, deal with it

When i'm not at work I might put together some of the more acceptable ones for you all to giggle at.

High five for unacceptable drinking stories!

Dey

[corpsestomp]

This last new year's, I managed to walk anywhere between 6 and 10 miles around our great state's capital. The shining moment of the night was me walking over the main highway, and up an exit ramp. Also, losing my best friend's backpack, including several beers and a pair of his wife's shoes. I was wearing a suit, it was snowing, and I was pretty sure I was going to have pneumonia in the morning.

Oh, and I didn't even mention how I got lost. We started about 5 blocks from my friend's house, and they abandoned me because I was drinking booze(not sure exactly what), out of my friend's wife's cousin's vase. Did I say that my birthday is January 2nd? This was about 18 hours before I turned 21.

[Kyzarius]

Well, This is a good story but I am not the scapegoat.

IT was our friend Jay's 21st b-day. This was in college and Our apartment was on the second story, four guys lived in our 4-bedroom apartment splitting rent four ways. Below us, oddly enough was an apartment occupied by 4 girls..who also split rent. Well we had one insane b-day party at which I gave Jay a bottle of Tuaca (pronounced like to-wakka). This is an italian sipping liqour...well Jay was pressured into taking shots of this...21 shots to be exact, throughout the duration of the party.

Well, as the night went on, one of the girls from downstairs was getting pissed, all three of her roomates were at our party...but she had some exam to study for an was not. However if you have ever live din an apartment you know it can be REAL loud in the downstairs place when there is a good 20 - 30 people having a drunken bash upstairs. Well...as the evening went on Sarah began to complain at us, she wouldnt call the police mind you because her roomates were at the party.

One thing lead to another and as Sarah was standing on her downstairs patio Jay was feeling ill (as only 21 shots of tuaca can make you). He ran to our balcony by the stairs down and let fly the chunk. All over Sarah, mouth open, yelling up at us. It was disgusting..it was priceless..and I will never forget how hard we laughed, well all of us but sarah, and jay who didnt remember it!! which made things even better as she never forgave him and when ever he asked what happened, and why she hated him, everyone (even the other girls from downstairs) told him crazy off the wall stories.

[Deykari]

Well, This is a good story but I am not the scapegoat.

IT was our friend Jay's 21st b-day. This was in college and Our apartment was on the second story, four guys lived in our 4-bedroom apartment splitting rent four ways. Below us, oddly enough was an apartment occupied by 4 girls..who also split rent. Well we had one insane b-day party at which I gave Jay a bottle of Tuaca (pronounced like to-wakka). This is an italian sipping liqour...well Jay was pressured into taking shots of this...21 shots to be exact, throughout the duration of the party.

Well, as the night went on, one of the girls from downstairs was getting pissed, all three of her roomates were at our party...but she had some exam to study for an was not. However if you have ever live din an apartment you know it can be REAL loud in the downstairs place when there is a good 20 - 30 people having a drunken bash upstairs. Well...as the evening went on Sarah began to complain at us, she wouldnt call the police mind you because her roomates were at the party.

One thing lead to another and as Sarah was standing on her downstairs patio Jay was feeling ill (as only 21 shots of tuaca can make you). He ran to our balcony by the stairs down and let fly the chunk. All over Sarah, mouth open, yelling up at us. It was disgusting..it was priceless..and I will never forget how hard we laughed, well all of us but sarah, and jay who didnt remember it!! which made things even better as she never forgave him and when ever he asked what happened, and why she hated him, everyone (even the other girls from downstairs) told him crazy off the wall stories.

Rofl. Ten points.

Dey

[Iyorvin]

-me and my brother went bar hopping and by 3 am we were quite drunk and needed some food. So we drive(yes, I hate drunk drivers) to McDonalds for some midnight cuisine. So we are in the drive through, and some guy pulls in car in between me and the car in front of us. He actually 'budged' in front of us at a friggin drive thru. So my brother unrolls the window and says "What the F". The guy, in turn, replies, "I'm better than you.". So my brother gets out of the car and starts beating on this guy for about a minute. The guy is holding down the horn and screaming for help. There is probably 10 or 15 cars lined up. So I get sketchy and start honking to get out. Bro hops in and I attempt at making a speedy get away, but I was too drunk to find the exit, and ended up doing circles in the parking lot.

-So me and my brother have a few drinks at the bar. I'm not drunk, but very slightly buzzed. Just at the point where small bad ideas seem accetable, but you wouldn't get a ticket if pulled over. At this time I was driving an 84 Tempo, and this car was a POS. So we are driving home, in Saskatchewan(gravel roads), and I scream, THERES A DEER. So I quickly start swirving to avoid the imaginary deer and we flip about 10 feet into the air. My brother, goes oh ****, manages to pull his seat belt on, in mid-air, and we land upside down in the ditch. My insurance fraud plan didn't pay off. The car was deemed worth 600 dollars, and the deductable was 700.

-I go to this house party with a couple new friends. I'm drinking vodka out of the bottle, as I usually did when I was 20. I go for a sip and this guy grabs the bottom of the bottle and I either have to drink, or spill. I'm canadian so spilling isn't an option. I am forced to guzzle half of a 26 oz bottle of smirinoff vodka(40%). Needless to say I was in the toilet quite quickly. After passing out on the couch they shave one of my eyebrows off. Then decide it's a brilliant idea to start a chain saw beside my head. Adrenaline kicks in and flip out, freak out, wig out and trip out. I ran out of the house and got in my car and drove home(30 miles), convulsing I was so drunk. Again, Saskatchewan, so gravel roads.

-I am at this house party with a chic I met an hour before at the gas station I was working at. I just had gotten off and we went to her place to get loaded. About three hours later, 18 beer, 12 smirinoff coolers, I wake up naked beside her in her bed. Her little puppy is pissing everywhere on the bed, and her brother is banging on the door(he was at the party). So I end up slipping into my clothes(piss soaked), and slip out.

-I was working at this bar one time, and had an appartment upstairs. I got pretty drunk and took a pretty looking but crazy broad upstairs. So we do our thing, and she asks if I have a smoke. I say no, but if you go downstairs to the bar, Mike(The other bartender) has some. So she, desparate as she is, gets dressed and heads on down, unknowing that the door back up autolocks as she leaves, saving me from the uncomfortable morning.

-long story short, she was fat

-long story short, she's pregnant

-not sure what I did, but I woke up drowning in the bath tub full of ice cold water, shivering so bad and looked blue.

[HBwillie]

Nearly all of my stories involve getting into fights, almost getting into fights, or they can't be explained on a PG 13 forum.

[Kyzarius]

Nearly all of my stories involve getting into fights' date=' almost getting into fights, or they can't be explained on a PG 13 forum.[/quote']

Thats ok, the majority of my party stories dont involve alchohol and start with "so we scored this fat bag" or "we got some laced candy and..."

so..yeah

Course we had the sweetest beer bong, made it ourselves. Took 4 feet of 2inch diamater hose, cut the bottom off a 2 litre and attached it to the top and installed a hose splitter at the bottom with two hoses off of it. It got dubbed the "6-pack" since it held an entire one and two people could drink from it at once..

Course, again...this only lasted a little while till we passed our drinking phase and turned the "6-pack" into a bong you could wear on your shoulder and wander around a party giving people massive hits that left them red-eyed and hungry. :eek:

[Montahg]

Thats ok, the majority of my party stories dont involve alchohol and start with "so we scored this fat bag" or "we got some laced candy and..."

so..yeah

Course we had the sweetest beer bong, made it ourselves. Took 4 feet of 2inch diamater hose, cut the bottom off a 2 litre and attached it to the top and installed a hose splitter at the bottom with two hoses off of it. It got dubbed the "6-pack" since it held an entire one and two people could drink from it at once..

Course, again...this only lasted a little while till we passed our drinking phase and turned the "6-pack" into a bong you could wear on your shoulder and wander around a party giving people massive hits that left them red-eyed and hungry. :eek:

Come party with me?

[Montahg]

So I've had ... 2 beers and ... something like 8 shots.

I wanna take my clothes off. I only want to take them off for Rorrik. Cuz Rorrik was the ****. I love you Rorrik.

[a-guitarist]

Those are some great stories guys. Here's my favorite:

So my girlfriend, 20 years old. 5'1", 90 pounds. Has a few drinks and gets a little randy. But, let's back track to the day previous: She gets a note from a friend of her roommate... yeah, a note. That reads, "If you ever wanna give me oral pleasure, then I'm all for it. And I'll return the favor." So back to that night. She's randy, and tell's her roommate. The roommate calls up this guy and tells the note giver this and gets him a ride over to have some fun. My girlfriend, who called this guy a walking STD, finds out about the surprise, gets excited and goes and takes a shower.

This guy, who happened to be the Roommate's boyfriend's roommate (it's like a freaking soap opera), slept with the roommate of my girlfriend. So then he shows up, the roommate throws my girlfriend a box of condoms, takes off to her room. The guy and my girl talk for awhile, then he has sex with her.

Isn't that awesome! Drinking and getting drunk is so cool. I love bragging about it on forums that are pg 13. Let's all go out and get ****ing drunk and have sex with loose women and all that kinda fun stuff.

Don't worry, though, guys. The story all workedout in the end, I'm single and drink only in moderation.

a-g

[inscribed]

Those are some great stories guys. Here's my favorite:

So my girlfriend, 20 years old. 5'1", 90 pounds. Has a few drinks and gets a little randy. But, let's back track to the day previous: She gets a note from a friend of her roommate... yeah, a note. That reads, "If you ever wanna give me oral pleasure, then I'm all for it. And I'll return the favor." So back to that night. She's randy, and tell's her roommate. The roommate calls up this guy and tells the note giver this and gets him a ride over to have some fun. My girlfriend, who called this guy a walking STD, finds out about the surprise, gets excited and goes and takes a shower.

This guy, who happened to be the Roommate's boyfriend's roommate (it's like a freaking soap opera), slept with the roommate of my girlfriend. So then he shows up, the roommate throws my girlfriend a box of condoms, takes off to her room. The guy and my girl talk for awhile, then he has sex with her.

Isn't that awesome! Drinking and getting drunk is so cool. I love bragging about it on forums that are pg 13. Let's all go out and get ****ing drunk and have sex with loose women and all that kinda fun stuff.

Don't worry, though, guys. The story all workedout in the end, I'm single and drink only in moderation.

a-g

party pooper. you can't take that out on the beer though. its like i always say, if a girl hasn't cheated on you, its only because she hasn't been given the right opportunity to.

['tarako]

'True. And pg13 has a broad definition. Ive seen some pg13 movies that i thought should have been rated R before. Shift happens man. No worries. Beer is kinda like seduction in a ca. and in the words of someone, "seduction isn’t making someone do what they don’t want to do. Seduction is enticing someone into doing what they secretly want to do already." Not to bash your ex but a lot of people use drinking as an excuse to do that kinda stuff. And unless she was blacked out, I don't think you can hold beer accountable.

[Aulian]

RE: Iyorvin - The Parking lot one cracked me the hell up, something similiar happened to me and a few mates. Not being able to find the exit and having to screech around the parking lot in search for your 'quick' get away.

RE: AG - Ah crap dude, thats just crap luck.

[HBwillie]

So I've had ... 2 beers and ... something like 8 shots.

I wanna take my clothes off. I only want to take them off for Rorrik. Cuz Rorrik was the ****. I love you Rorrik.

lol. thanks bud.

[HBwillie]

Thats ok, the majority of my party stories dont involve alchohol and start with "so we scored this fat bag" or "we got some laced candy and..."

so..yeah

Course we had the sweetest beer bong, made it ourselves. Took 4 feet of 2inch diamater hose, cut the bottom off a 2 litre and attached it to the top and installed a hose splitter at the bottom with two hoses off of it. It got dubbed the "6-pack" since it held an entire one and two people could drink from it at once..

Course, again...this only lasted a little while till we passed our drinking phase and turned the "6-pack" into a bong you could wear on your shoulder and wander around a party giving people massive hits that left them red-eyed and hungry. :eek:

I don't smoke or do drugs or appreciate the implication, jokingly or not.

[a-guitarist]

That's the great thing about my situation, I can blame anyone I want too Regardless, it wasn't the first time she did something like that, just the first time that it involved alcohol, so I guess you are right. But, in her defense, she "was thinking about you(me) the whole time". That made me feel a whole bunch better about the situation.

It's basically comes down to this: Women are filthy lying whores who only care about money and immidiate gratification, and the only one that I have ever met that didn't use me for something was my mother. And something I've learned: The prettier they are, the worse they are. The younger they are, the worse they are. And the more they drink, the worse they are.

Can you honestly tell me you have seen a woman who was drunk who was not leading guys on or being overly sexual? That's all they do. That's all they are.

Still bitter two and a half months later, don't see an end in sight. But the hate keeps me warm at night.

a-g

[Aulian]

"If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.."

[Cephirus]

So, after doing a bit of bar hoping I wind up talking to this beautiful women (At least that is what my memory offers) and we end up going back to her place. She has this little dog, I forget the breed, and we end up doing it. We finish and she goes into the bathroom, my head has been spinning the entire time and I realize that I am gonna blow chunks. She is still in the bathroom so I run to the window and try to open it... however there is a screen in the way... and if any of you have ever tried it... you cannot vomit very well through a screen. So I decide to push away her bed from the wall and vomit on the carpet and move the bed back.

She then comes out of the bathroom... I am certain she is going to smell it so I start to get dressed. She starts fondling me and we eventually start to go again... in the middle of it I hear a sound... so I stop. I hear a jingling and realize that it is the dog... making a slurping sound... so I start again. This goes on for a few minutes until I realize that the dog is right below us.... eating my vomit. Well I end up finishing up and quickly departing. I would have stuck around... but I am not paying that cleaning bill.