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Drunk Stories


Montahg

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I don't want to point it out at the risk of being banished from the forums and from society, but I really misinterpreted the second sentence in Cephirus' story. :D

Dey

Oh man, I know exactly what you mean.. That was awesome :D Beastiality has never really been my thing, but meh, I won't judge ;)

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So I was pretty out of it last night. So much so that apparently I tried to teach my roommate how to do the "chicken dance". I also was involved in a long discussion about the existence of God.

I don't remember either of those. I also don't remember posting that I'd take my clothes off for Rorrik. But hey, it's probably true, he was pretty sexy.

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LOL... man' date=' i didn't even catch that.[/quote']

I did - and had the same thoughts the other two did :D

Anyway, I was out for a few drinks one night that may have been my birthday. So, I arrange a place to meet with most of my mates - except my cousin is going to come along but doesn't really know the city. I end up crusing into the city about an hour early to meet the said cousin at the bar. Which is where this story really begins - with beer.

By the time the first of my friends show up I'm on my second beer. No big deal. Its about 7pm and I anticipate a long night ahead (I'm a stay out all night kind of guy). Anyway, my friends walk in, head straight to the bar and proceed to buy the next round of beers. Sounds good eh?

Truth be told - I'm not a huge beer drinker. Not that I don't drink it at all - its just not my drink of choice. So now I switch to bourban and coke. :D I love stuff and this stuff loves me. Anyway, more friends are arriving and I must have been on my third bourban by this time. Then the next lot of my friends get 'rejected' by the big-headed bouncer on the door. I mean WTF??!!?? He's got 'small man' syndrome and he's trying to make up for it. F***ing w@nker.

So I tell the people who can't get it to go up the road and install themselves at another club I know. I'll round everyone up, finish our drinks (errr..get them to finish their drinks ;) ) and be up in about 10min. Sounds likea plan right? Sure - except my cousin doesn't want to skull the last 3/4 of his double black Smirdoff. Being a sport, I decide to help him out. Down the hatch it goes.

Now, you're all probably think this doesn't sound too bad - L-A hasn't had that much to drink. Either he is a complete lightweight or he's going to start chasing his bourban with tequilla shots at the next bar....

Yes, I start ordering tequila with my bourbans at the bar. I like tequilla. Tequilla likes me - at least to start with. I remember ordering myself (yes, for some reason I'm buying myself drinks on my birthday while 10 friends look on...) three bourban's with tequilla shots. One of my friends was happy to do a shot with me so bought me another. After that who knows....

Time: 11pm. That's right - I've been out on the town a whopping 5 hours.

Anyone who has had tequilla in any quantity knows that its great for the first 5 - 10 shots. Beyond that, it catches you - and you're usually too wasted to realise what is happening until it is far, far, far too late. Hence I ended up dry reaching in the club's mens room. It sounded bad. It hurt more - AND - the bouncer was ready to kick me out. My brother gets involved at this point - convinces the bouncer that I just need to sit down and have some water. The bouncer agrees that if I can walk over to my seat and sit down I can stay as long as I don't fall asleep. Easy huh? Its about five steps.

Step....step......look the side and see I'm right next to the bouncer.....fall on the bouncer!! I'm sure it seemed funny to me at the time - my brother didn't think so and neither did the bouncer. This is where things go wrong...

Its time to go - so my brother and cousion each grab and arm, hoist me up and proceed to cart me off to the train station. I'm pretty sure it took about three hours (due to my slow speed) to get home. I remember the following:

1) Emptying my guts into a bin at the train station.

2) Vagely being on the train.

3) Lying flat on my back at the station I always got off at.

4) Doing impressions of McManus from The Usual Suspects - 'Give me the gun you m**** f***ing c********!!!' followed by insane laughing.

5) Doing more impressions of McManus from The Usual Suspects

6) Doing EVERN MORE impressions of McManus from The Usual Suspects.

6) Being dumped in my bed by my room mates at who knows what time.

Over the next three or so months I managed to put together what happened piece by piece from what my brother, cousin and room mates told me. To this day I don't have a clear recollection of that night - and perhaps its better that way. :cool:

Time L-A remembers - about 3 minutes.

Time that actually elapsed - about 3 hours.

Seeing L-A do the same movie impression over and over and over and over while he thinks its the funniest thing ever.......priceless.

L-A

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