I hate future in-laws...

[Imoutgoodbye]

So, anyways, my fiancee told her mother last night that she was pregnant. She seemed somewhat okay with it.

I wake up today to her crying on the couch because her mother called and told her that I'm just using her and she needs to move home.

Now, I pay all the bills here, do half the house work, and treat her like a queen. That's why she's going to marry me. We love each other and that's all that matters in this world to us.

Seeing her upset made me mad and I told her I'd talk to her mother.

Called the mother up and said, "Hey, I'd like us to be a family, but I'm not going to have you upsetting your daughter, my future wife, and talking me down behind my back."

Mother: You zip it, boy. And you keep your hands off her. You knew she could get pregnant and now I am telling you to your face.

Me: So, what you think I'm a worthless lazy bastard?

Mother: No, but you keep your hands off her and your pants on!

To end it all, she asks me if I want her husband on the phone, so I just told her she wouldn't be talking to her daughter again until she stopped upsetting her and hung up. I've been screening the phone calls since...

We're going over to their house Friday (maybe) and we'll see how things go from there, but arrrghh! I am so pissed off right now. I cannot make this woman happy! We've been dating for three years, engaged for two of those, and she didn't want us getting married for another five years! I've had it! Absolutely had it!

My car was wrecked a couple years ago by some idiot in a larger town. So, my fiancee and I share her car. I only go back and forth to work, which is like 1 mile from our apartment. She moved in with me and took care of me when I couldn't walk after I dislocated my knee cap. So, that to her mother is me using her. Geez, I thought it was something like "in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer" that we were shooting for.

And another reason she's not supposed to marry me? I'm not physically strong and I'm "fragile" is what she called me...

I feel a little better...had to rant...

[Quigt]

Pfft. Some parents just can't let go. Don't let it get to you. You're both adults, and it's time you get treated like them.

[Iusedtobesomebody]

As one who survived "the all-hating" in-laws, I feel for you. Give it time. Give them time to get to know you better.

And more importantly, give them time to realize all their bitching isn't going to drive you away, and they are stuck with you. It took me 2 years of dating and 2 years of marriage to finally wear mine down, and now they're some-what okay.

Patience, Rev.

[Mattamue]

How are you going to pee and poo if you have to keep your pants on?

Edit: Okay the pee isn't such an issue. Unless un-zippering counts as taking your pants off.

Edit pt 2: Also.. wouldn't keeping your pants on not really be an issue anymore?

[Mudder]

Alright... These parents (to me) seem ultra conservative. They are upset their daughter is pregnant out of wedlock. They are upset because their daughter isn't dating the "perfect man" they always dreamed for her.

In essence, they are very controlling and had an entire "life" planned for their daughter and they are upset because it is not turning out the way they wished. This is incredibly selfish.

Ignore it. They will get over it. Though, this is more your future wife's thing. Let her handle her parents. Don't screen calls. That makes you look worse seem controlling. It'll give them more reasons to dislike you. Which does not seem to be something you need.

In the end, they will either "give in" to what their daughter wants for her own happiness and just be happy for her. Or, they will continue to be little children that didn't get their way. Though, it will make their own lives miserable. Don't let that affect you.

On a sidenote, it couldn't hurt to buff up a little.

No mom wants their daughter to be dating a nerd.

[a-guitarist]

"You don't just marry the girl, you marry the family." Remember that.

I've been through the wringer with a family that hated the hell out of me. A buncha pedophiles (documented, actually) who had no reason to pass judgement on me for my psychological illness, let alone adopt and raise children...

Anyways, if your future wife keeps going back for abuse and mistreatment, you've got your work cut out for you. That is, if she has a history of any type of abuse... (don't worry about sharing it, that's really private)

If that is the case, however, and you can make your relationship work... you're a hell of a lot stronger of a man than me.

Kudos for standing up for you and your woman, though. Lot's of men won't do that, and it's freaking pathic they don't. You're a good person.

As for the "fragile" crap? Darwinism has moved from "ugh, me hit you big rock" accompanied by swinging a large stone wildly to perusing your local grocery store, oggling the meat selection and saying, "I pick you, mr. black angus. You will be delicious today!"

a-g

[samag08]

Toughen up Sally-Boy..

Hah! Well from someone who has been married for 15 years(And we STILL get along great:eek: ) I think I can give you a bit of advice here. A-G is right, you do marry the family too. Thing is, you've got a child on the way. So no matter what her family really seems to think, you've a responsibility now to give that child the BEST life that is possible. That usually becomes your number one priority for both you and your wife/wife-to-be. CALMLY arrange a meeting with her parents and yourselves at a neutral setting(i.e. steakhouse for dinner, etc.). They are very likely freaking out that their "little girl" is no longer under their control. Now she is the adult and is going to be in control of another human being's life. CALMLY reassure them that you WILL be there foremost for the future child and you WILL be there for the mother/wife. Tell them about your one year, five year, and ten year gameplans. When you will be starting X line of work, when you intend on buying a house in Y neighborhood. Which school system would be best for the baby. Etc Etc Etc. I am assuming that you are rather young and your bride to be is rather young else her parents would not be even an issue. To them this probably looks like another case of "Crap, daughter is pregnant and marrying because of it." Let them know that you have solid PLANS, not just dreams and ambitions. Let's face it dreams hardly come true in the real world and that baby will be needing food and diapers and clothes. Talk to your fiance beforehand and really set some grounds to talk about the future with them over.

They may still react harshly, so what! You are going to be a dad(which is wonderful btw) and that responsibility trumps EVERYONE else's feelings/likes/dislikes etc.

Good luck and congratulations on the wedding/baby.!

Matt~

[Psycho Child]

First off, congrats on the kid.

Secondly, I myself got married last september, so believe me, I feel your pain. I can't even remember how many times my wifes mother told her that she should break up with me. I'm a broke army brat with no cash to my name, and both her mother and step father are CPAs who own their own firm. This past winter, I was working 16 or more hours a day, five and sometimes six days a week. Her step father still calls me a "lazy bastard who doesn't take care of you(my wife)". His reasoning? I'm not earning six figures like him yet. Others have said that whole you marry the family too crap, and sadly its true.

Since you already have your own place, you are already sitting pretty good. Thats one of the most important things in my opinion. Don't let them get you down, go ahead, get married, enjoy your wife, and enjoy your kid. If they are unable to enjoy their own lives, don't let that make you suffer. Just let it roll off like water off a drunk duck. Karma will handle them.

[corpsestomp]

Having been around for most of this drama from the beginning, and hearing all about it, and also having spent a reasonable amount of time with both you and your fiance, I'm going to give my opinion.

Having seen your relationship from its best to its worst, and the fact that the two of you still enjoy each other so much, I don't feel much sympathy for her parents. They've been unsupportive of the relationship from day one, but the fact that she stayed with you and cared for you during your injury and even when her parents were being manipulative and conniving, I know you'll go the distance.

This baby is probably the deciding factor in the me vs them battle. Showing them you're a supportive, hard-working and responsible adult(which you are, so don't try to deny it ) is going to be the only way to convince them. Don't break off the parent relationship completely, her parents and possibly her will dislike you for it.

As for screening calls...Well, I dunno how that'd work for you, but samag's post had some great advice.