Malchaeius Posted June 7, 2008 Report Share Posted June 7, 2008 Ladies and Gentlemen, I present you the New Pantheon Collection of dolls. Get yours while the getting is good, because once we run out of these magnificent dolls, you will be up crap creek without a paddle! a minature replica of Malchaeius - Make your friends jealous when you present this special Implementor doll! It builds, it slays, it insults! And now it can provide you with hours of guaranteed fun! (Warning: Fun not guaranteed. We are not responsible for any injury to yourself and others while playing with this doll. Side effects can include: Loss of forum privilege, Loss of self-esteem, Loss of sight, Loss of limbs, uncontrolled bouts of anger, Nausea, and erectile dysfunction. You should consult your doctor before playing with this doll.) a minature replica of Chayesh - This flashy God of the Unlife will amaze you with his collection of random knowledge. It comes equipped with a large hammer that has been known to be dropped from time to time, as well as a book of jokes, puns, burns, and random posts. Do not place this doll next to your computer, as it will undoubtedly wear down your keyboard with an insane amount of posting. a minature replica of Irumeru - Who made this doll an IMM? We'll never know! And that is half the fun of owning this manly, mustachioed, fedora-wearing, God of the goody-two shoes! Why, just saying this man's name has been known to put hair on your chest. Ladies, please do not say his name. It comes equipped with dual wielded monitors for twice the coding action! a minature replica of Caimor - Buy this mysterious God of Order! If you can find it that is! Though it came out of the first generation of the New Pantheon model, it quickly vanished into obscurity. Rumors began to float about being run over by buses, or fleeing the country. The manufacturer likes to believe, however, that he is on some deserted island with Elvis Presley, Amelia Earheart, a fully grown Lindbergh Baby and Tupac Shakur! a minature replica of Alofus - Own this shadowy refugee from Malta today! No one is quite sure what it does, if anything, but it has been known to appear randomly and disappear just as fast as he reappeared. The current theory is that he is hot on the trail of the Caimor doll. a minature replica of Anume - A new and improved version of our best seller! This model, however, comes with some attitude! Pull the string at the back of the doll to hear her call you a "dolt" over and over again! It never gets old! Warning: Putting this doll next to the Malchaeius doll will contribute to hours and hours of pointless arguing. a minature replica of Anithraril - What is it about Savant Gods that garnish such apathy from everyone? Well buy this doll and find out! It has been known to sit for weeks in the front window of stores only to have people walk by it and head straight for the Eshaine doll! Still, it is the only doll whose head has yet to explode when placed next to the Isadora doll. a minature replica of Izlimak - There is no reason why you should not own this Undead God of Law. Originally created as an accessory to the Chayesh doll, it quickly got a mind of its own. A defect in the production has left this doll with emotional issues and wild mood swings. We urge you not to leave it alone with any of the female dolls. a minature replica of Merogrin - "Izlimak. Immortal. A man barely alive. Gentlemen, We can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to make Aabahran's first bionic IMM. Izlimak will be that man. Better than he was before. Better. Stronger. Faster" At least was the pitch when making this doll. However, something went terribly wrong and we got the Merogrin doll instead. a minature replica of Eshaine - This tree hugger doll is a must have for any serious collector. Quite easily our most popular, long lasting, and best-selling doll to date! Our manufacturers cannot make this doll faster than it is sold. This green doll is the perfect gift to tell a loved one that you not only love them, but you are against global warming! a minature replica of Prax - Possibly the most annoying doll in our entire collection! Attempting to converse with this doll, who is coincidentally programed by Microsoft, will only frustrate you as you will constantly run into syntax errors. After a couple of "Invalid Command. Prax help" many people have been known to downgrade the software to the Wathok version. a minature replica of Malanith - Watch your wallets when this doll is around! The Malanith doll has very sticky fingers. While an improvement over the Khade model, the batteries on this model have a very short life-span. a minature replica of Raargant - To call this one a doll would be insulting! No, friends, own this limited edition action figure! It comes with a huge red marker and a barrel of beer for several hours of beer swilling, demon bashing, essay writing fun. Whatever you do, do not ask it if Stonebiter is a euphemism for something - you really do not want to know. You have been warned. a minature replica of Isadora - No collection would be complete without this dahling doll. Love her, Admire her, Worship her, because she demands nothing less. It comes with a small mirror accessory that she will stare at for hours on end while talking your ear off - even after you've removed the batteries. a minature replica of Wathok - Own this busy bee of a doll for a marginal price. It comes with a tool belt to facilitate all the building that you need done. Just let the little scamp off with an idea and watch it go. Be weary, because you may ask it to build a wooden chair, and instead it will bring you rocket powered wheelchair because "hey, it sounded cooler". Any attempts at conversation with this doll will most likely end awkwardly. a minature replica of Krounoi - Here we have the poor shmoe that was stuck with the duty of head Bookworm. This is an interesting doll to own, as it will read you bedtime stories as you sleep in that sweet but not creepy old man way. a minature replica of Lytholm - Beg your parents to get you this God of Combat action figure today! It slices. It dices. It smashes! It bashes! It fathers illegitimate children! And it can be all yours for a low low price! a minature replica of Kauuld - Break your piggy bank and pay for this one of a kind doll. Do not expose this doll to World of Warcraft, as the head will instantly melt and it will become for all intents and purposes useless. a minature replica of Baelthamas - I found this one at the bargain bin at wal-mart! I did not know they even made these anymore! This little doll comes with a handy dandy calculator to help you crunch numbers. Just ask it a question and it will never be wrong. Once, it was asked if it had any flaws, it responded, "No, this doll is perfect. But if it did have a flaw it would be arrogance." a minature replica of Arograth - This doll constantly gets confused for the Raargant doll, which boosts its sales significantly. Still it is a good one to own. A humble little thing, it comes with a modified burger king crown because, well, he is the king of the dwarves - and the Burger King might be dwarven. a minature replica of Taeltrin - You too can own this buzzing God of Morality. It will sit on your shoulders all day long and tell you when you are right or wrong. However, this doll has been known to suddenly vanish without warning or explanation! a minature replica of Roykagh - Own this next entry in the tree-hugger collection. This doll is pretty small, so you must be careful in handling it. It is completely recyclable, but make sure you keep it away from any form of liquor. One drop is all it will take to turn this one into a nude dancing lunatic - "All natural" has never been so frightening. a minature replica of Athara - This brief goddess attempted to lead the Warmaster collection of dolls. However, after they made fun of her skimpy outfit, she lost her self-esteem, moved to Alberquerqe, had 3 kids and gained 200 lbs. a minature replica of Giuesppe - This little fellow is the best dressed doll out of the bunch. If you can get past the smell of Italian meat that radiates from this one, you will enjoy it immensely. A must have for all future entrepreneurs; it comes with self-teach book entitled "How to Rip off the Government". a minature replica of Khaede - You would be crazy not to want to own this doll! Crazy like a fox! This Stain of the Underworld - we will let your imaginations decide the meaning of this nickname - had to be removed from shelves after being sued for plagiarism. The lawsuit is still in the courts, but it does not look good for our stained friend. a minature replica of Thinoth - Ateeeeennnntion! This action figure is one of the largest in our collection. It comes with several weapon accessories, and will follow every order you give it. After several children choked on the accessories - who would have thought a toy mace looks like a lollipop to a three year old anyway? - the dolls had to be shelved. a minature replica of Thelsyome - This little doll is the perfect gift for all the little girls, and some of the little boys. She comes with several dresses and a make-up kit because hey - nobility has to look good. When this cheap model came out, the Aldyorma doll quickly faded into obscurity. Her own fate was sealed where the nobility line came to an end. a minature replica of Belegriel - No one really knows what this doll can do. Some have even claimed that it is not a doll at all, but a block of wood. To them I say, shame! Would we ever sell you anything so useless? *Frowns as he looks at the Elkalatar doll* a minature replica of Aldyorma - This doll is plain expensive and very high maintenance! But what do you expect from a former member of the nobility collection. It does not do much except gossip all day, but what can you really expect from it? Is it worth the price? We will let you decide! a minature replica of Valganti - "To be a dragon you gotta be strong. Humble, never braggin'. Always fight for right, battlin' wrong. With the power of the dragon. Live the code! The code of the Dragon! Fight for right! The might of the Dragon! With the mark! The mark of the dragon!" Oops. Uh. I got carried away there. Anyway. Buy him and you too can be a Dragon Master noooooooowwwwwwww! a minature replica of Gradrel - Is it a bull? Is it a man? It's the Gradrel doll! This is the latest doll in the useless tree-hugger collection. It comes with kung-fu grip and not much else. Someone please buy this doll. It gets so awfully lonely. a minature replica of Ethel - When you buy the Wathok doll, this comes as a bonus. Easily confused for a female, this doll gets stuck doing a lot of meaningless labor. a minature replica of Vanadon - Another Limited edition collector's item! The value of owning this one is questionable, but hey, if you have a doll collection anyway, why not? a minature replica of Izlimaaaak - Own this limited edition collector's item. Made in Thailand. It only existed for three minutes before it was pulled off the shelves due to extremely high contents of led! a minature replica of Elkalatar - Whats this you say? You've never heard of this doll? Poppycock! *Throws the doll at you and runs away* No refunds! a minature replica of Khoevar - This God of hugs and firm handshakes still has a cult following to this day. We do not know why, but as long as people still keep buying it and worshipping it, we will continue making it. a minature replica of Zhokril - Own this amorphous blob of good times! While this is a newer model, and sale reports are not in yet, it is looking promising. Not much of a talker, this model patiently sits for hours at a time reflecting on - what else? TIME! It comes with a dragon accessory that it will hand out to any decent looking person that passes it by. Will you be the first trendsetter on YOUR block to own it? We would like to think so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oog Posted June 7, 2008 Report Share Posted June 7, 2008 I love how much this makes me laugh and smile! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valsgarde Posted June 7, 2008 Report Share Posted June 7, 2008 Hahaha. Witty post. a minature replica of Lytholm - Beg your parents to get you this God of Combat action figure today! It slices. It dices. It smashes! It bashes! It fathers illegitimate children! And it can be all yours for a low low price! Hahaha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iusedtobesomebody Posted June 7, 2008 Report Share Posted June 7, 2008 a minature replica of Malanith - Watch your wallets when this doll is around! The Malanith doll has very sticky fingers. While an improvement over the Khade model, the batteries on this model have a very short life-span. Hahahahahaha, hahaha, haha, ha.... hey, wait... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Icor Posted June 7, 2008 Report Share Posted June 7, 2008 How much is the Krounoi one? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evangelion Posted June 8, 2008 Report Share Posted June 8, 2008 How much is the Krounoi one? Oh god... he lives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gradrel Posted June 8, 2008 Report Share Posted June 8, 2008 Oh so lonely. Someone please buy my doll. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KRins Posted June 8, 2008 Report Share Posted June 8, 2008 Have you every considered the fact that you and your doll smell like a barnyard? That might drive down the profit margin... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hegemon Posted June 8, 2008 Report Share Posted June 8, 2008 Drunk and/or on crack. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EyeSeeU Posted June 8, 2008 Report Share Posted June 8, 2008 a minature replica of Valganti - "To be a dragon you gotta be strong. Humble, never braggin'. Always fight for right, battlin' wrong. With the power of the dragon. Live the code! The code of the Dragon! Fight for right! The might of the Dragon! With the mark! The mark of the dragon!" Oops. Uh. I got carried away there. Anyway. Buy him and you too can be a Dragon Master noooooooowwwwwwww! That is hands down my favorite, I secretly love you Malchaeius! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pieman Posted June 15, 2008 Report Share Posted June 15, 2008 So uhhh, I keep trying to order the newest doll in the Syndicate line but every time I get my package with little in it than a cheap fake violin covered in glitter? When is this doll going to be fixed? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ulviirolin Posted June 15, 2008 Report Share Posted June 15, 2008 Darn! I didn't make it in, in time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Imoutgoodbye Posted June 16, 2008 Report Share Posted June 16, 2008 I want a refund on the Zhokril doll. It seems to have "misplaced" it's dragon accessory. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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