Deykari Posted July 19, 2008 Report Share Posted July 19, 2008 Okay, before we begin. Call me any name under the sun, and flame me out. I deserve it. No need for moderation and all that jazz. About four hours ago, I had a conversation with my best friend's sister. She broke up with her boyfriend of four years, last week, because he cheated on her. She was an emotional wreck, and the two of us were fairly drunk (no excuse, I'm just painting a picture). She told me that she has always had a bit of a thing for me. Me, being the complete **** that I am, told her I did too (when I don't, I was drunk). About fifteen minutes later, we're in her bed and we, did the deed. I'm pretty much sober now I think, and realised that I've ****ed up. I can't ask any of my friends, because they'll tell him/her - and I want it to come from me, not them. How the **** do I even approach this? I'm just wondering what your thoughts are. I have been a complete **** and both of them are going to be mega pissed regardless, but at the minute I can't even think about what I need to do. Dey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tantangel Posted July 19, 2008 Report Share Posted July 19, 2008 Really depends on the person. Some guys would be absolutely pissed that their mate shagged their sister. Personally I wouldn't care, if she's old enough to do it, then she can choose who she can do it with whether it's you or her brothers two twin friends it doesn't matter. Sure you might be screwed, but I find that funny. :-P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mali Posted July 19, 2008 Report Share Posted July 19, 2008 It takes two to do it right. Was it consensual? Is she pregnant? Did you give her an STD? If the answers to these questions are yes, no, and no then you have nothing to worry about. My advice: If you don't want to do it anymore with her, then don't. Communicate with her and be nice about it if she thinks that it is something that it isn't. Lastly, don't discuss it with your friend (her brother). It is between you and her and he will need to understand that. If he really wants to talk about banging his sister then something is wrong with him. You are all adults. Don't even worry about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chromatic Posted July 19, 2008 Report Share Posted July 19, 2008 Who's to say she didn't just use you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
corpsestomp Posted July 19, 2008 Report Share Posted July 19, 2008 Flee ca 'word of recall' ??? Profit First and foremost, you should find out if she actually likes you enough to want to be dating or whatever. Otherwise, let it slide. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Imoutgoodbye Posted July 19, 2008 Report Share Posted July 19, 2008 First and foremost, you should find out if she actually likes you enough to want to be dating or whatever. Otherwise, let it slide. I don't think he wants to date her. Dey: You did what almost any single guy would do. If you think your boy's going to have a problem with it, call him up, and have a chat about it. Second, ummm....I don't know how to say this exactly, but, I think you have a drinking problem. Don't feel bad. I have a smoking problem. Damn nicotine. Once you take care of your boy and get that smoothed over, I think you should take of the other problem before it leads to more like this. Please don't hate me for saying so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a-guitarist Posted July 19, 2008 Report Share Posted July 19, 2008 Man up. Tell her, "I was drunk. I feel like ****. blah blah blah." but do it heartfelt and mean it. Also, let the friend know. Better he hear it from you than after it gets controted through eight people, 15 text messages, 2 emails, and a youtube video. Take the lumps you deserve (if you and he both feel you deserve it). If one of my friends nailed my sister when she was drunk, I'd have to rethink my friendship with them. But, in the end. You're not a bad person. You screwed up. Take what life throws at you, deal with it the best you can, and make sure that girl's heart isn't broken anymore. Now if she used you.... then, man, start screaming and crying and get some justice! Sleep with her brother! I mean, you guys already know each other fairly well... a-g Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mali Posted July 19, 2008 Report Share Posted July 19, 2008 Alternately, you could get drunk and do it again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a-guitarist Posted July 19, 2008 Report Share Posted July 19, 2008 Alternately' date=' you could get drunk and do it again.[/quote'] According to the Man Rules, you violated rule 5, but on the bright side, if you did it right you're cool by rule 10. But by the love of the Gods, devils, and everything in between, if you fail to invoke rule 24, I'll force you to turn in your testicles, your man card, and half of your.... a-g Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inscribed Posted July 19, 2008 Report Share Posted July 19, 2008 Alternately' date=' you could get drunk and do it again.[/quote'] if she was hot, then this is definitely the best advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iconz Posted July 19, 2008 Report Share Posted July 19, 2008 Complete violation of Man Law... Heres what you gotta do. First, talk to the girl and decide what it was... either a drunken mistake... a random hook-up... a rebound f***... the establishing of a continuing hook-up... or the attempt to establish a new relationship. The real reason for the man law to not touch your best friends sister is the assumption that you just want to dog her... as long as you dont dog her... there shouldnt be too much of a problem. There is a possibility that youll get punched in the face... but you already know youve earned it. If your friend is reasonable... he'll realize that you guys are both adults (please tell me she was 18... or at least that you didnt violate whatever the law for the age of consent is around your way)...and even though alcohol was involved (which means i dont think she can legally give consent) it sounds like shes been wanting you for a while. But yeah... before you take this to your friend... talk to her first. She may specifically ask that you dont say anything... I knew someone in a situation like that before... banged his good friend's sister like two or three times... but she asked him not to say anything. The brother did end up finding out... but he didnt get mad because he realized that his sister was the one who specifically made him not say a word... then again... they were sober each time they fooled around. __________________ Iconz - "Heres to alcohol... the cause of and solution to all of life's problems" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tantangel Posted July 19, 2008 Report Share Posted July 19, 2008 16 is the legal age of consent in the UK, 18 to drink I believe. So assuming she was legal to drink she was definitely legal to consent to the activities. At least I think that's right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deykari Posted July 19, 2008 Author Report Share Posted July 19, 2008 It takes two to do it right. Was it consensual? Is she pregnant? Did you give her an STD? If the answers to these questions are yes, no, and no then you have nothing to worry about. My advice: If you don't want to do it anymore with her, then don't. Communicate with her and be nice about it if she thinks that it is something that it isn't. Lastly, don't discuss it with your friend (her brother). It is between you and her and he will need to understand that. If he really wants to talk about banging his sister then something is wrong with him. You are all adults. Don't even worry about it. It was consensual, I'm clean, and condoms are an essential part of any mans inventory. I've had all of three hours sleep since (I think I was a little more drunk than I thought I was when I made this post) and all I'm hoping right now is that she's not thinking that she is after anything more and that she's realised it was a drunken thing. My friend is more than unreasonable, and big on respect. I know how he's going to view the situation, I think. She sat and poured her heart out to me and I nodded along with it all with one goal in mind... So I think I sort of need to speak to her first and (try to) settle things there. She is completely not the sort of person who would just sleep with anybody willy nilly - though how would I know if she's been in a relationship? AFAIK she's had sex with only one person (two now) and that was within her relationship. I just sort of feel like I've disrespected the pair of them (which I have) by essentially leading her on under false pretences (which I did) which is something you don't do to a friends sister. As for the drinking problem, I genuinely don't get drunk that often! Dey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twinblades713 Posted July 19, 2008 Report Share Posted July 19, 2008 I don't have much advice to offer in this category, but what I can say is this. If you're currently beating yourself up about it. Don't. It may have been wrong, or problematic, but it's done. You can do no more to what has happened but begin to mend- yourself, her, and your friend. Stop feeling bad, but still genuinely apologize. Take what they'll give you with regards to forgiveness, or perhaps yelling, all people are different. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aulian Posted July 19, 2008 Report Share Posted July 19, 2008 Nah dont call him. Face to face. Takes more edge off it. I would be more pissed on the phone then I would face to face. Its not what we're drinking Dey, its how we're drinking. Ah - If he is going to blow top, he will blow top. Better it comes from you first. Be appologetic and if all else happens try not to get punched in the nose or the ear, cause taht hurts like ****. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inscribed Posted July 19, 2008 Report Share Posted July 19, 2008 settle it over myspace. all of history's greatest conflicts have been settled over myspace. post links so the viewers at home can watch as it unfolds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samag08 Posted July 19, 2008 Report Share Posted July 19, 2008 Bad move mate. Take him to a bar for a cold one. Be a man. "Ineed to tell you something that I did. I am sorry for being such a dick. The other night, while both intoxicated, your sister and I slept together." He will most likely want to kick your ***. This you know, and seems you deserve. Hopefully he will at least appreciate you man-ing up and laying it straight out. Kind of like someone getting fired. Might as well just lay out the " Sorry Bob, but your position has been terminated." Rather than some lame attempt to sugar coat what's coming otherwise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grappler Posted July 19, 2008 Report Share Posted July 19, 2008 Okay, before we begin. Call me any name under the sun, and flame me out. I deserve it. No need for moderation and all that jazz. About four hours ago, I had a conversation with my best friend's sister. She broke up with her boyfriend of four years, last week, because he cheated on her. She was an emotional wreck, and the two of us were fairly drunk (no excuse, I'm just painting a picture). She told me that she has always had a bit of a thing for me. Me, being the complete **** that I am, told her I did too (when I don't, I was drunk). About fifteen minutes later, we're in her bed and we, did the deed. I'm pretty much sober now I think, and realised that I've ****ed up. I can't ask any of my friends, because they'll tell him/her - and I want it to come from me, not them. How the **** do I even approach this? I'm just wondering what your thoughts are. I have been a complete **** and both of them are going to be mega pissed regardless, but at the minute I can't even think about what I need to do. Dey No sense beating yourself up. Explain, nicely, to the young lady what happened. Men are pigs. You can fight it...but you'll lose. You should still be a gentleman afterwards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a-guitarist Posted July 20, 2008 Report Share Posted July 20, 2008 Hell yes you beat yourself up over it. You screwed up. If you just sit there and go "Heh, I messed up bad. Oh well. No use crying over spilled milk..." then you're no better than the act. Feel bad about it, just when you are forgiven, earn it. The reason you cry over spilled milk is because you've got nothing left to drink. a-g Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KRins Posted July 20, 2008 Report Share Posted July 20, 2008 Yeah or you could realize that nothing in this world could ever change what happened, stop and take a personal barometer. She didn't mean anything special obviously so that takes out the approach her brother with the "it was a long time coming, emotion BS" schtick. Which leaves you with LIE LIKE HELL (and let me tell you...much more effective then anyone would believe. This works sometimes even with eyewitnesses in these situations.), explain what happened to her and her brother (both at the same time, most men won't brutalize another person in front of their womenfolk) or cut ties and throw the lies that you been living with (Its not like their aren't other people to be friends with. This leaves you open to retribution. Don't buy anything new and most importantly...don't get a new paint job on your car. That just screams to the girl's brother "Come take a piss and pour paint of random not-manly colors on me." That's from experience with my own dear little sister.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deykari Posted July 22, 2008 Author Report Share Posted July 22, 2008 I think they're okay. I told him first, and he was initially pissed off but then sort of became a bit more agreeable and told me to "go ****ing sort it out with her". She more or less wasn't particuarly bothered and said it was half her fault anyway, and not to worry. Still think he's annoyed but he's being okay about it. Absolutely shot the hell out of me when we went paintballing though. Ouch. Dey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twinblades713 Posted July 22, 2008 Report Share Posted July 22, 2008 Good deal then. Glad you seem to fine with the both of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deykari Posted July 22, 2008 Author Report Share Posted July 22, 2008 Good deal? I've achieved hero status amongst my other friends. Dey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twinblades713 Posted July 22, 2008 Report Share Posted July 22, 2008 Great deal then, man. Just don't look too proud... at least around her. EDIT: *Reserved burn about possible inexistence of said other friends.* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deykari Posted July 22, 2008 Author Report Share Posted July 22, 2008 I have friends, they just charge for their services. I had to get new ones when the previous group started charging by the hour: "Oh, well, we've been with you for 20 minutes, if you're going home now you still need to pay us for the hour Dey." Dey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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