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If Martineus had an Interview...


delfytheelfy

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So I had to come up with am monolouge and this reminds me of Marty somehow.

Okay... Where to start. Let's see. Okay. Ya' know... There is a lot of pressure on vampires these days. I mean, the media has built us up to be monsters... Okay, if your definition of a monster is someone who sucks other people's blood... Alright, ya' got me there. But do you know the kind of peer presure that is within the (Makes quotes with his fingers.) culture of vampires. I mean, give me a break... Gloom and doom and black and cobwebs and coffins all over the place... That is just not for me. All that gothic stuff. Come on. All those other vampires are saying things like, "James, vampires don't wear pastels," or "James, vampires don't hold day jobs as hairdressers." I don't even know what they're talking about. I mean, they didn't even want me to keep my kitten. They said a vampire with a cat named Snookums just doesn't strike terror into the hearts of mortals. I don't get it... These people are going to live forever and do you know how they party? They sit around and complain about garlic and crosses and stakes... They don't talk about politics; they don't talk about human rights violations; they don't talk about endangered species; they don't talk about anything that's important. They think it's fun to talk about fangs and how fast they can turn into bats. Bats! Did you know that bats have fleas? Do you know how hard it is to get the fleas out of your hair when you change back? Oh... Oh and this whole seductive thing... People think that kinda' stuff is cool. You know what happens when you hypnotize people? They're no fun to talk to anymore... They're like zombies. And the tempers those people have! My God, you'd think people who are going to live forever would not get so stressed out... I mean, they'll blow up at just about anything. If the pizza boy puts anchovies on the pizza and they didn't order anchovies, they'll put the pizza boy on the pizza. If someone sneezes the wrong way, they go bezerk like a rabid dog or something... Most of them seriously need to deal with their anger management issues. I tell ya', a lot of people think being a vampire is cool... It's not. Being a vampire sucks.

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My apologies in advance to the player of Martineius, but I really couldn't resist since I don't think that monologue describes the character well, at all... ;)

I see. So you want me to talk about myself. What shall we make the subject? No, no, that would never do. Modesty and honesty never mix. A vampire? My dear, I am not a vampire. Name of the Nameless, what would make you think that? For one, you would never see me in the same light, and that would be unpardonable. I, my dear, am a sculptor. A politician, an artist, a soldier. A Lord. But above all, I am a sculptor. Don't look so doubting. It breaks my heart. Here. Come here. Look out this window with me. Do you see what I see? Look closer. Yes. Buildings and stone and sky. Yes, and people, too. Thousands. Look closer, my dear. Those people are aimless. Purposeless. Many of them will self-destruct before your very eyes. No, I am no vampire. I wish to save them. I see your smile; you doubt. No, I'm not offended. You won't doubt long. I am going to make them better than what they are. All I ask is that they love me in return. Is that so terrible? You still smile. Very well, I'll prove it to you. How? Come to dinner with me. After I have saved you, I'll go back to work on the rest of the city.

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