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engaged.


brsingr

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Guest emp_newb

I was wedding ring shopping before I got married. Rings are f***ing expensive. I mean WICKED more than you would think. I ended up getting her an expensive band, and me a plain titanium band hehe.

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Why? Did you sign a non-disclosure agreement or something?

No, no... apparently you don't have to sign a non-disclosure for anything smaller than an orange. I figured you would know that. People are still talking about how you got the whole Martinez family in your caboose.

Frankly, I am still in awe. Everyone bow to the master.

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No' date=' no... apparently you don't have to sign a non-disclosure for anything smaller than an orange. [/quote']

This must help simplify your dating life.

Frankly, I am still in awe. Everyone bow to the master.

Thank you. I often have that effect on people.

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Guest emp_newb

And the highest honors go to the The Flayer of Pride, The Weaver of Asshats, the Eternal Immasculator. The One, The only. Chayesh.

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The reason wedding rings are expensive is because the whole purpose is to show commitment. If you can save for three months, it shows you're probably the right stuff for a husband. Also, if you still love the chick after three months, and you're willing to give her something you saved three months for, she's probably the right chick.

Lots of kids go and f*ck it all up by getting "engaged" with no ring, and saying idiotic broke poet crap like "engagement rings are what the MAN wants us to do, but we're in love, and we know what it's really about!" Congratulations. I'm sure your marriage will probably last for several weeks.

I've been married to my wife for 6 years. Some of you know of her. We're about to have our second child. When I wanted to marry her, I bought the best ring I could afford after saving for three months. Considering I was a broke-*** college kid, it wasn't one of those three carat monsters you see some chicks wearing. It was the best I could do, but it showed real commitment, and she didn't care about the size of the diamond. "It's the effort, stupid."

So, here's my advice: Don't be "that guy". If you're going to invite someone into your life, do it the right way. You can expect to get the exact same level of effort from her as you put into it.

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I second Cryp

Though I am not a big fan of spending so much on a ring. It's the thought that counts. If it's a ring that is worth 3 months of saving or a ring you got from one of those 25 cent gumball machines. It shows commitment. I would be happy with either or.

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Whoa, whoa whoa WHOA! I usually don't like putting in my two cents on personal matters unless asked, but this dude... THIS is H U G E!

I understand caring for someone, and I understand not wanting to see someone struggle through life alone while trying to protect a child from the worlds uncaring icicles of uber emotional death.. but this.. I can promise you that you're setting yourself up for a world of hurt.

Be with her, yes, Support her, yes. Hell even give her some of your hard earned money to help with the child that I'm sure you care about as well. but marriage for the overall intent of not letting her go it alone is going to come back and CHOMP your head off. I'm not judging her character, but what tell if somewhere down the line she finds someone that really makes her feel special? You may make her feel okay now, but unless the marriage is founded on the basis of UNCONDITIONAL POSITIVE REGARD (I.E. Love) you're only going to fall, and it's only going to hurt. A LOT!

I know. I speak from my OWN experience. I did JUST what you did. The attraction was there, the want and desire was there, but there was no love. I did not love her no matter what wrong she might do, and neither did she. No unconditional positive regard = no way it's going to work,= more pain and hurt then you can possibly understand until it smacks you like boulder.

Now, you are your own. Do as you feel right. But, Please, at LEAST make for yourself an escape plan. A 'just in case everything goes to complete s***.' Plan. Something so that when/if that reality comes crashing down around you, you won't be trapped under the rubble.

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yea and what if the condom breaks....

if he didn't use one... then that is just dumb.

But it least he is being a man about it... but getting married so young may put him in a difficult position. But I can agree with Jaharim. I use to think if i ever got pregnant, I wanted to marry the father off the bat. But that may lead to divorce and a whole lot of pain. Support her and the child, that I can agree with. But what happens if you or your girl finds someone else that make you or her happy. What then? Stay with her, in a few years... if you are truley in love then marry. Heck I know of a few people, one being a close friend of mine that married like 9 years after their first child was born. She became pregnant at 17, she married in her late twenties to the same man. And she now has three kids and is very happy. Though I now make fun of her because of her last name.

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Well that would be the difference. Should the child be HIS then yes, props for the stiff spine and sticking it out for the child's sake. I was under the impression that the child was NOT his however. Could be wrong, don't know.

Either way however, my point still stands, he should make for himself some kind of backup plan. I'm not trying to sound cold hearted here, but I put my ALL into that woman, and when it did crumble down around me.. I WAS trapped under the rubble. I started again with nothing. Material, financial, emotional. NOTHING. I just don't want to see anyone else HAVE to live through the kind of experience I had to soldier through.

Edit: And if she is in indeed pregnant, the child being his or not, Neither of them should be smoking.

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I made a bunch of wise cracks earlier, but yeah, props if the kid is yours and you're stepping up and being a real man about it.

If the kid isn't yours...f***ing run like the devil himself was behind you with an f***ing uzi. Run far, run silent, run deep. This is not a dog you are saving from the pound. This is a decision that could ruin three people's lives if you do it for anything other than love. And like others have said, REAL love, not this puppy love crap. REAL love is the kind of love that chooses to stick by a person no matter what until you die. That's REAL love and it isn't for the faint of heart.

And congrats to any of you married folk out there who are making that choice and making it work.

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I don't find Chay scary anymore...how many souls will he snatch up in federal prison for weapons charges...unless it is a semi-automatic uzi at which point...why man? Get something that is accurate beyond knife range.

Back on topic...true love is pretty much the only reason to settle down. I promise you, regular checks to a baby's momma won't get sent back and she won't b**ch nearly as much if/when things break down if you aren't stuck under the same roof.

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Exactly my point. Both parties have to have the same goal for anything to work. Life long happiness. Even in the small things.

Referencing the UPR, (unconditional positive regard). That means, no matter what she does, no matter what she says, no matter how ****ed up she might become, or how badly she might hurt you, you still love her regardless, and she holds true to the same for you. If you can honestly answer that yes, then man, I give you full props and every best wish out there to give.

If not, KRins is right. Or rather said what I said, but simply. Enjoy your time together, support her to the best that you feel appropriate. But don't allow yourself to become trapped in something that... in the end, was more harm then good. Commitment is not something to be taken lightly.

Please, keep in mind, none of what ANY of us are saying is meant with malice. (Possible exception: Chayesh) It's meant to try to pass on some of the stuff we've learned the hard way so that... hopefully, you don't have to learn it the hard way as well.

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At least he is being a man about his actions. Kudos for that. Remember this though...a condom is so much cheaper than diapers and baby food.

An abortion is also much cheaper than diapers.

Why has no one mentioned the best solution to this problem? There is no way two young teens (especially the kid with a triple filter bong?) are going be able to happily raise a kid. Save yourself the torment. Save the kid the torment.

If you really want to marry the chick, then do it when no kid is involved and then PLAN to have the kid. A planned pregnancy is the only good pregnancy. With one exception being you wanted it but it just came slightly earlier than you wanted.

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