engaged.

[a-guitarist]

I've been married to my wife for 6 years. Some of you know of her. We're about to have our second child. When I wanted to marry her' date=' I bought the best ring I could afford after saving for three months. Considering I was a broke-*** college kid, it wasn't one of those three carat monsters you see some chicks wearing. It was the best I could do, but it showed real commitment, and she didn't care about the size of the diamond. "It's the effort, stupid."[/quote']

At first I was going to argue the whole point with you... but that part there saved it. The plain, stupid fact is too many people burst into the wedding thing too soon, without knowing their partner. When people come to me or my father wanting a wedding ring out of platinum or some stupid thing with a billion diamonds and blah blah blah we tell them, "Look, we're not questioning your devtion, but the times say that it's 50/50. Do a nice ring now.... don't break the bank. If you can't afford to pay your rent, your car payment, insurance, student loans, etc. and also pay a ton on a ring and do it easily right now... don't. You can always upgrade later." A starter ring for a couple grand is a great start, but even that is way too much sometimes.

If I make 24k a year, I am not going to buy my fiance a ring that is 3 grand. I'll buy her one that is nice, roughly $1,000, if I can afford it. If I can afford less, I'll do less. But if you start your marriage going in with a reckless abandon saying, "Damn! I'll take the chance of bouncing a rent check and car payment to prove my love for you!" You've risked house and transportation to work all because of a ring. But... if you can afford a six hundred dollar ring (there are nice ones, I've seen them.) now, do that now. And in five years when you're sure it's going to work out and you've had intelligent time to live with and truly understand your partner upgrade to something nicer.

A ring isn't just a ring, you're right. It's a sign of commitment. But at 15 years old the only thing he's committed to is internet porn, his xbox and getting bong rips. All three of which are leading causes in fights in relationships and marriages. But until you've lived with the person for awhile, you have no idea if the little thigns are going to kill you.

Maybe the smell of her Oh so rosey BM's will just make you want to kill yourself? Maybe it's the way she breathes in while she chews, making that audible lip-smack? Perhaps when she sits down on the couch she picks up the bottom of her shirt and rests a hand on the beer gut she's forming? Maybe you didn't realize when she said, "No, I don't mind being told when it's time to upgrade my jean size, I like to know these things." she was lying. Straight up lying to you. And then, when you do while thinking, "Hey, she wants to know." you get an ear full? Maybe you realize before that, "Hey, I don't like girls that wear over a size 12? And I never realized that until now?" What about that horribly annoying way she does a **** stupid job when it's her turn to do the dishes. Because, take it from me, man, nothing will piss you off more than when every other morning you go to take a spoonful of oatmeal and you have a gritty texture on the bottom of your spoon and it does NOT ****ING COMPLIMENT THE MUSHY OATMEAL! Sure, her talking in her sleep might be charming now, I mean, it's a cutesy mumble, all high pitched and disney like... but after eight weeks of it you're going to get pissed and WANT TO SLEEP! Hell, man! You've gotta Mod like fifteen 360's by next weekend and you've not had a wink in three nights! Or how everytime you step into the shower, there is a new bottle of shampoo... right next to full one she bought the day before and used once. Or when your pillow is no longer your pillow because "It helps my cramps." when shes' going through the montly visit. And, believe me, man, that's a fight you don't want to go through. She doesn't give to ****s if that was your pillow for 20 ****ing years. And the worse part? Your buddies at the bar-... your buddies at the soda joint are gonna get sick of hearing about it. Plain sick of it. What about when you go to take a crap, she get's mad when you're audibly flatulent? Is it your fault you've been burdened with intestines that can't break down apple peals? And what about if she loves a food you can't stand the smell of, because it makes you sick? There is only so many joints you can smoke that will make it palatable for you. Also, when she wants a candy bar, but you've alread eaten it because you're high as balls she won't bite her tongue forever, and nor should she. Because now you're the provider for her and some half tard child you forced her to squat out because you thought, "We're married now, we dont' have to use protection! I'm now the man of a family!" And then you have to hear about more womanly things you just didn't care to know about in the first place. But before that happens, you have to deal with laundry. Because, man, you're doing it wrong. Or she is. Maybe she doens't make the bed the way you like, and yoru way doens't suit her. Where's the happy medium in bed making? There isn't. You can't have the sheets tucked under half the mattress and not the other half. Then the car you drive is either too messy for her, or she doesn't care if it gets messy and you do. What about the few times she forgets to take her double mocha latte from last week off the top of the fridge... and a month later you're trying to track down that ****ing smell you can't find... but when you do the carmel she drenches the damn fro-fro-vagina drink with is now bleeding all down teh back of yoru fridge... which you now have to pull back outta the wall and clean... but it hurts like a bitch because you just hurt you back moving a 300 pound tincture lab the week before, and then when you swear, "GOD DAMN IT!" She thinks you're yelling at her... and then the crying starts.... and doens't stop. And you get mad and yell, "Why won't you stop crying! I wasn't yelling at you!" And you realize... **** man... I just yelled at her.... now she has a right to cry. OR when you're driving and you yell at "What are you, and idiot?!" at the driver infront of you for not using his turn signal and she goes, "WHAT DID I DO?!" And you just give her that look of, "Are you that ****ing daft, woman?" and she starts to tear up because you had no idea that's how her ex boyfriend looked at her when she did something stupid and he left her after having a fourway with her bestfriend, her grandmother, and their two parrots? You had no idea... but now you're gonna be paying for it for at least three weeks and a dozen roses... which she'll throw out as soon as you hand them to her. And then a month later bitch about how "You never by me flowers!"

Are you ready for that?

a-g

[Jaharim]

O.O Okay... suddenly my hell seems like a walk in the park.

[Pali]

An abortion is also much cheaper than diapers.

Why has no one mentioned the best solution to this problem? There is no way two young teens (especially the kid with a triple filter bong?) are going be able to happily raise a kid. Save yourself the torment. Save the kid the torment.

If you really want to marry the chick, then do it when no kid is involved and then PLAN to have the kid. A planned pregnancy is the only good pregnancy. With one exception being you wanted it but it just came slightly earlier than you wanted.

Now THIS is a good idea.

All right, Mudder, you're hired as my second stooge.

P.S. If the kid's already born or the pregnancy is a fair way along, putting the kid up for adoption might be a good idea as well (depending on where you are... unfortunately our adoption system is very far from ideal).

[a-guitarist]

Now THIS is a good idea.

All right, Mudder, you're hired as my second stooge.

P.S. If the kid's already born or the pregnancy is a fair way along, putting the kid up for adoption might be a good idea as well (depending on where you are... unfortunately our adoption system is very far from ideal).

You said it. I am seven shades of pissed when someone adopts form outside our country. I understand China, India, Pakistan, Some African countries all have horrid qualities of life.... but help those here first. Adopting a child from some dirt hovel in a jungle is not going to make the world better, it will make that kid happier- maybe. Adopting some kid here in the states is not going to make the world better... but it'll make some kid happier- maybe, and some parent happier- maybe, But the happy people will be here in this country and that's a start.

Most people who adopt, that I've met, have been nasty nasty people to their children and I wonder how they'd let a person like that take a child. But, it's because the system is currently broken and no one wants to fix it. It's easier to assume that every kid is going to a decent home. The half a dozen or so girls I've met that were adopted were abused. Am I saying all are? No, most aren't, in fact, from what I hear. But the chance of having a child I created end up going to someone who will abuse them is unthinkable for me. I'd rather sacrifice my future to give that child one where I know it will not be sexually, physically, or emotionally abused.

Pali, we disagree alot on what I like to call the aesthetics of society. But we fully agree on the frame.

a-g

[Chayesh]

There are, of course, then millions of others who, believing in the sanctity of all life, would say that abortion is a reprehensible cop out and should not be considered as a "remedy" to what appears to be an extreme lack of judgment on the part of the participants in this particular horizontal mambo.

Adoption is a much better choice for all the reasons already stated and because it preserves the life now begun.

"To take a life is to kill a whole world; to save a life is to save a whole world." - Jewish proverb

[Twinblades713]

Wow, Chayesh. That post there removed the indigestion I've had since you returned. Well said.

[Pali]

There are' date=' of course, then millions of others who, believing in the sanctity of all life, would say that abortion is a reprehensible cop out and should not be considered as a "remedy" to what appears to be an extreme lack of judgment on the part of the participants in this particular horizontal mambo.[/quote']

And there are those who believe that the Earth is dangerously close to being overpopulated with humans, and those who believe that the quality of life outweighs the quantity of life. There are those who would rather see one child live a happy life than a hundred lead miserable ones.

[Celerity]

And then there are some people who believe that you should practice what you believe as long as it reasonably defensible and doesn't interfere with the judgment/ability of others to also do that....(especially in philosophical, ethical, and religious matters!)

Being as there are likely many people who disagree with Mudder on this forum, I have to commend his willingness to say such an 'ugly' thing on a mostly American forum!

But he is right...you have proven (via your forum posts), undeniably, that you are completely incapable of taking care of yourself...how can you possibly extend this coverage to include two others? Get an abortion:eek:, stop abusing chemicals (nobody wins that game), clean yourself up, go to a university, study something interesting, graduate, get a job, and THEN have a child if you still can remember this girl's name by then...

...on a side note, I wonder how many people who 'believe in the sanctity of all life' are pacifists...pro-life and join the army! yeah!

[brsingr]

I stopped buying weed and cigarettes 3 months ago (if someone offers, i'll take it), the whole lab thing is over, i am not having anything else exploding in my house. also, I got a job at a restaurant for $8.00 an hour to augment the income from my mods/repairs, and i make some money on the side by selling very strong salvia and lettuce opium extractions (LEGAL!)

also, internet porn, xbox, and bong rips are no longer part of my life.

I barely use weed anymore (only when offered), i sold my xbox to start up the extraction thing, and internet porn just isn't really that great. Anyways, all my time is spent on physical activity (working out, odd construction jobs, playing football) and spending time with her, with the occasional 20 minutes trolling forums.

The kid is mine, I did use a condom (kept it in my wallet. guess it's true about the heat/friction wearing it down), it's like three or four months in development. The preggo post, i just said it ended in a miscarriage, but it didn't. I say three or four months because we can't really pinpoint the time of conception considering the whole.... daily smash thing.

Also, i made a post earlier, explaining something about me not being recklessly impulsive when i have someone who is constantly worrying about me other than my parents. You'd be surprised how few crazy things i've done lately.

[Aulian]

Woa... A-G scares the crap out of me sometimes.

[Mali]

REDMARKERED. That was an ugly post. One warning. No more.

[HouselessRogue]

I will stand by what I said the first time. IF the kid is yours.. you are doing the right thing by manning up and taking care of it. BUT... don't get married solely because she is pregnant. It is a mistake. You can still be there for her and your child without the legal commitment. IF you feel ready for the next step in your relationship (being PREGO should not be a factor here) move in together and see how it goes.

[KRins]

http://images.alibris.com/isbn/9780789203823.gif

And the closet just got a little less crowded...

I'm not sure if you hold to any religion brsnger, but remember this. Marriage is permanent...unless you got the cash to get a divorce. Yeah, we all know the line from the newer Dukes of Hazzard (why do divorces cost so much? Because they're worth it)...but I'll just say it will cut into your personal time with your triple filter. Don't make the decision about you or the girl. The real innocent in the situation is the child. There is no shame in putting a child up for adoption. Most (I can't say all...there are too many horrible people in this world) people seeking to adopt are able to care for the child well enough and obviously really desire the child as they are willing to jump through the flaming hoops of doom to have a chance at parenthood. I cannot advocate abortion, as I personally don't believe in it, but I also find it pretty reprehensible to bring a person into this world and be unable to provide even a halfway decent life. Love isn't enough for a child...it is a financial, temporal, and spiritual decision. Do you have the funds? Do you have the time? Do you have the devotion and love to forgo the self for the benefit of another? All important questions that require some serious thought.

[Deykari]

Brsingr, you said your internet porn days are over?

Honestly, when the time comes for me to settle down, the lady better be prepared, and realise that I come with my 500gb external HDD. Ain't nothing wrong with porn, brother.

I also agree with Mudder/Pali wholeheartedly. My reasons will seem extremely selfish and ridiculous, hence why I will keep them to myself, but I am completely pro-choice (nearly said pro-abortion, which I did mistakenly on here before meaning pro-choice ).

I don't know your situation, but congratulations. I feel as though there's a little bit of you inside me (no sex-pun intended) and because of it, I always love reading your posts. I'm not here to judge or give advice (my advice is awful). Screw these guys, they're probably just jealous because they've never created an explosion in their home.

Well, they probably aren't, but like I said. Screw them.

Well, don't screw them. In any way. Because they're cool.

Oh, whatever.

Dey

[Raargant]

This is not an abortion debate thread, and quite honestly, if it was, I'd consider shutting it down. Nothing good ever comes from these debates, precisely because it ends up in ugly bull**** like this:

"I think in this case its only fitting that you knock up [EDITED OUT]. You two can find meaning in your hate for babies!".

Further posts regarding 'pro-choice' or 'pro-life' on this thread will be redmarkered. If they include personal attacks or insults, the poster will be given a week-long ban as well.

If you really want to debate abortion because you somehow think you'll actually change someone's mind else via an online forum, I suggest you create a new thread. That being said, I will be monitoring very, very carefully.

[Jaharim]

As I have previously stated. The choice is, and always will be, yours and only yours. I only recommend having a fail-safe in case things DO go south. The fact that you are sticking by your guns and doing what you think is right is an awesome thing.

Sometimes, This kind of experience is just the sort of kick in the pants to make a person "Grow up." Since that seems to be the major issue under debate by other patrons of this thread, I say, Do as ye will. But DO it.

Congrats to you man. I really do hope everything works out for you for the best and only the best!

[brsingr]

AHAHAHHAHAH!!!! SHE HAD A BITCHFIT AND BROKE UP WITH ME! I'M FREEE!!!!!!! FREEEEEE!!!!! It's a weight lifted off my shoulders. ****, she can keep the ring, it's only 700 bucks. I havent been this happy for a long time. i mean, i was depressed for like 30 minutes, but now i am SOOOO ****ING HAPPY!

just to wait for the day she changes her mind

[ladyoki]

...

[Deykari]

Like I saiod, congratulations.

I'm pretttt drunk but happy for you either way.

Live for the moment!" we all may get hit by bog buses tomorrow and if we do, i can happily say ive lived!

x

dewy

s

[Mali]

Thanks for the warning. I think my post was out of order but it is also out of order to quote little bits of my post after the original was deleted.

My opinion is that the whole thread should be deleted. Look at the original post and the most recent post from Brsingr. Obviously this thread is only here to get a rise out of people.

See you in game.

[Deykari]

i think that me and mali should jist have sex to celerbrate brongigrs sort of non-engamnet.

i also tkae the bit abpiut having a bit of brsingre in me, back. no offense, obviously, but baby got back, and thats how i roll.

Dey

[Raargant]

I agree with Mali. Thread locked.