Male Drivers and Blondes

[Imoutgoodbye]

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "Sir, I clocked you at 80 miles per hours."

The driver smiles and says, "Officer, I've had this vehicle on cruise control all day. Perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating." Without looking up from her knitting, the driver's wife says, "Now, don't be silly dear. You know this car doesn't have cruise control."

As the officer begins writing the ticket, the driver turns to his wife and growls, "Can't you keep your mouth shut for once?" To which the wife responds, "You should be grateful your radar detector went off when it did."

As the officer is writing out the second ticket, he says, "Sir, I notice you're not wearing your seat belt. That's an automatic $75 fine." "But officer," says the driver, "I was wearing my seat belt. I just took it off to reach my wallet for my ID." The wife speaks up, saying, "Dear, you know perfectly well you never wear your seat belt when you drive."

As the officer begins writing out the third ticket, the driver turns to his bellowing, "WILL YOU JUST SHUT YOUR MOUTH!?!?"

The officer finishes the third ticket, asking, "Does he always talk to you like this m'am?"

"Only when he's been drinking."

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A blonde walks into a pharmacy and goes up to the counter. "I'd like some butt deodorant, please." Bemused, the pharmacist says, "We don't have that product, nor have we ever carried it m'am."

Unperturbed, the blonde says, "Yes, yes you do. I get it here all the time."

The pharmacist asks, "Well, do you have the box the product came in?"

"I do," says the blonde, "It's at home."

So, the blonde goes home and returns to the store. The pharmacist looks at it and says, "M'am, this is regular underarm deodorant."

Exasperated, the blonde snatches the deodorant from the pharmacist and reads the instructions out loud:

"To apply, push up bottom."

[Questioner]

The first was classic.

[The Professor]

The first was good...the second one, made me sad...

Just imagine how many people have done some rather idiotic things that prompted the use of warning labels on just about everything you read nowadays...

No telling what crazy stories those help line workers might have heard over the course of their employment...right up there with cops, taxi drivers, and doctors...especially proctologists

"Every story starts out the same, it was a million to one shot Doc, a million to one shot." Kramer