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Holy Crap

Chromatic

By Chromatic
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The-Nameless Newbie

The-Nameless

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I just found out my wife is pregnant. Wow. I'm excited and freaked out and scared and all sorts of indescribable things. Just wow.

Becoming a father is so impossibly hard to describe to someone who is not a father, or so I have found. You feel these overwhelming things welling up inside you, and you really have 0 idea how to directly deal with it. Just insanity. When I found out the first thing I did was get INCREDIBLY drunk with my dudes, celebratory drunk.

The worse part? I have a little girl. I know what little boys think about, and how we operate. I am going to prison in 12.5 years. Mark my words.

On a side note, best of luck/wishes to you. Here are some things I wish people had told me:

Your wife is going to be insane, not just normal woman, but really off her rocker insane. Put up with it cause that is not really here.

You will be expected to do 90% of what your wife did, and 100% of what you did.

Start ****ing buy diapers now. Seriously.

start buying all the little stuff over the 9 months, not all at once.

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KRins Newbie

KRins

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Congrats. Definitely do the crib purchasing, constructing, and placing beforehand. My sister waited until the day the baby came home and it cost her $100 to have me put it together for her. To this day I have no clue why her fiancee hasn't developed any sort of arm muscles or putting stuff together knowledge in 22 years on the planet... And I wonder how I can price gouge a new mother... Then I wonder why I don't do it more often...

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Anume

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Pfff. You guys have it easy, it's us women who do all the labour.

Wish your wife good luck, esp. if it is her first. Get info on pain killers now.

Also say goodbye to your hand and typing for a bit, it's going to be squished after the birth anyhow.

My little girl is now 14 weeks old, she almost died at birth, was quite the shock. Just glad she is alright and growing now. Her brother adores the little terror as well though I'm not sure if she really likes his shows of dragons and dinosaurs eating her rubber toys... :D

Yeah, and she's a natural blonde too :P

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Chromatic Newbie

Chromatic

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Pfff. You guys have it easy, it's us women who do all the labour.

Wish your wife good luck, esp. if it is her first. Get info on pain killers now.

Also say goodbye to your hand and typing for a bit, it's going to be squished after the birth anyhow.

My little girl is now 14 weeks old, she almost died at birth, was quite the shock. Just glad she is alright and growing now. Her brother adores the little terror as well though I'm not sure if she really likes his shows of dragons and dinosaurs eating her rubber toys... :D

Yeah, and she's a natural blonde too :P

wait, you're actually a woman?

On a side note, I think you made a much cooler Watcher Imm.

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Chromatic Newbie

Chromatic

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Haha I had to.

I've never been more terrified and excited in my life. I'm hoping for a boy this round.

And I can't even roll watchers anymore. After the last imm told me I needed to do clan quests before I could join when I was out there fighting all the tribs/undead at the time more than any watcher on I just lost my motivation.

I guess it was just the nostalgia of my first characters and actually learning from people like Aulian and Warmongrel my first few characters that keep making me want to go back.

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Imoutgoodbye Newbie

Imoutgoodbye

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Haha I had to.

I've never been more terrified and excited in my life. I'm hoping for a boy this round.

Boys are awesome. Not sure on the whole girls thing. I hear both sets come with different parts. ;)

Don't worry too much. Kids are pretty resilient. You don't have to stand over the crib every waking (supposed to be sleeping) moment. I kept worrying he was going to just stop breathing for no reason. :(

Just let things flow, dude. The first six months are easy. Help the wife out in any way you can, NEVER admit she's looking fat (even when you can't stand her crying about it seven, eight months in, keep telling her she's wrong, she's beautiful, break out the candles/romantic dinners, read the poetry, read children's tales to her stomach when you go to bed at night). Tap into your inner romantic and hold onto it. It's all worth it when you hold your child in your arms for the first time.

Oh, and the first six months are fairly easy because the kid will sleep so much, mostly waking up to be fed. Keep a good eye on the diaper. They love to piss and defecate in them...a lot. Not sure when that's going to stop. I have to start potty training mine now...little dude's gonna be big....he's already 32 inches tall and weighs 34 lbs. Not even a year and half yet!

Lord watch over all us new parents...hehe...it's fun, you'll see. :P

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The-Nameless Newbie

The-Nameless

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Boys are awesome. Not sure on the whole girls thing. I hear both sets come with different parts. ;)

Don't worry too much. Kids are pretty resilient. You don't have to stand over the crib every waking (supposed to be sleeping) moment. I kept worrying he was going to just stop breathing for no reason. :(

Just let things flow, dude. The first six months are easy. Help the wife out in any way you can, NEVER admit she's looking fat (even when you can't stand her crying about it seven, eight months in, keep telling her she's wrong, she's beautiful, break out the candles/romantic dinners, read the poetry, read children's tales to her stomach when you go to bed at night). Tap into your inner romantic and hold onto it. It's all worth it when you hold your child in your arms for the first time.

Oh, and the first six months are fairly easy because the kid will sleep so much, mostly waking up to be fed. Keep a good eye on the diaper. They love to piss and defecate in them...a lot. Not sure when that's going to stop. I have to start potty training mine now...little dude's gonna be big....he's already 32 inches tall and weighs 34 lbs. Not even a year and half yet!

Lord watch over all us new parents...hehe...it's fun, you'll see. :P

My daughter is 29" and 31 lbs and she is not even a year :)

On a side note, your wife/GF/baby momma is gonna be literally insane. The things she will say, and fights she will start (and she will start ****) are going to make no sense, and make you want to smash your head on a rock. Realize that her hormones make her completely unrealistic in the stuff that she is processing. So no matter what refrain from the "Shut your ****ing mouth." talks, they do NOT work. She will cry, and freak out for 0 reason, she will think she is fat, and ugly. My suggestion is put the cruise control on, and try not to drive off a cliff.

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HouselessRogue Newbie

HouselessRogue

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Just say, "Yes dear" whenever she is talking about anything really. Be ready to run off to fulfill her odd and untimely cravings. Tell her how beautiful she is no matter what. When that squished up purple colored head pops out don't fall over. Yeah... it is quite surreal.

I have 3 boys and 3 goddaughters. I do not envy any father when the daughters get to teen age years. *shudder*

Oh.. and Congrats! Your life is about to change dramatically.

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