mmajunkie Posted August 4, 2010 Report Share Posted August 4, 2010 Wow... okay, I wasn't sure if I was ever going to tell anyone about this, but it's late and I'm sleep deprived so i guess I'll just write it now and regret it in the morning First of all, - just for some background: My mom died right when I was born, (she was actually really, really hot- but this isn't about her. I guess that's ****** up to say, but whatever.) I actually grew up with my dad's family, because my dad has all sorts of emotional issues and he bailed before I was born. So you can see, my childhood was really kind of messed up. Anyways, growing up I feel like there was always a lot of distance between me and my sister. When I was about 17 or 18 I first noticed that my sister was a hottie. I don't want to go into to many details about it, but basically what happened is that I accidentally found a video that she made of herself. I knew she didn't make it for me- but I thought she was so ******* beautiful that I watched it twice. I probably would have watched it a hell of a lot more, except that like right around the time I found the video, all this crazy **** went down and I had to leave home. (My dad's family who I was staying with got in bad trouble with the law. I never talk about it). Sooo... I was totally lusting after my sister at that point. She was also having bad trouble with the law. She was actually in custody when I left home. My friend and I went to go pick her up. When I saw her that day, after seeing the video, I have to be honest, I just wanted to **** her brains out. Looking back on it now, it's pretty messed up- but I think she had feelings for me too. She actually kissed me right after we came to get her... and it wasn't a sisterly kiss, you know? I mean, it wasn't like ridiculously sexual or anything, but it definitely wasn't sisterly. After we left, we all went to crash with my Sister's friends. On the trip there, my friend sort of implied that he wanted to get with my Sister, and I got a little jealous. He's a good looking guy- and even though she was my sister- I just felt like he was competition. Not much else happened between us for a while except some maybe-sexy hugging. Pretty much everyone in my life at that point was wanted by the government, so we all moved around a lot. I'm not saying that I'm proud of it or anything, but it was kind of an awesome time. My friend and my sister never hooked up I don't think- but I thought there was some serious sexual tension going on between them. It was around that time that I got really badly hurt in an accident. It was ****** up. I almost died. But when I was in recovery my sister came to see me, and out of the clear blue sky she started gives me this awesome, slow, passionate kiss on the lips. Sadly (although, I guess for the best) nothing ever came of it. We spent some time apart... and I started to get really religious, so I tried not to think of her that way. It was actually going well for a long time- like I was totally over her. But I have to say, like a year or so after all that stuff went down, we were out sailing (not like a date or anything romantic like that), and she was wearing like the hottest bikini I've ever ******* seen and it brought back all the old feelings. Sigh. A little while later she actually wound up with my friend from before (the sexual tension guy). I can't say I was surprised. But even after she was shacking up with my friend, there was one time we were at a party... my friend was inside, and my sister and I were outside alone. It was a really intimate moment. I think something might have happened, except that I killed the mood when I told her that Darth Vader was our father and that I had to go face him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mmajunkie Posted August 4, 2010 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2010 Guys, I'm sick of this. WoW is all I have to keep me sane. I'm almost 20 and haven't been able to score a better job than a freaking cook at a local fast food joint. What makes it worse is that I live in a small town so business is pretty limited, and where I work is the only place that'll hire high school graduates. I'd get the hell out of this town if I could actually drive too, but I've failed every damn test I've ever taken. I'm socially awkward, even my only other co-worker *@!!ing hates my guts. I have repressed lust for one of my best friends too; she's athletic, smart and a gorgeous southern bell. I love her. You know what it's like; I've been friend zoned real hard. She's my only real friend, besides this one kid, who I'm pretty sure is only hanging around me because he is mentally challenged. I guess he's the only one that can tolerate me. And what makes this all worse is that I live in a freaking pineapple under the sea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mmajunkie Posted August 4, 2010 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2010 You think you have it bad? My job is so unbelievable. I’ll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with: First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe. The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I’m not sure she even showers, much less shaves her “womanly”;; parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat. But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I’m sure after work. He probably hasn’t been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he’s only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960’s, and to make things worse, he brings his big nasty dog to work. Every damn day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it’s trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single day. Anyway, I drive these idiots around in my van and we solve mysteries and stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croyvern Posted August 4, 2010 Report Share Posted August 4, 2010 Wow. Let me do this right. first, Welcome back. second, remember all the struggles your characters went through? Were not each of those characters in some small way you? Or atleast extreme examples of your innermost thoughts and feelings? third, and forgive me but I have to ask, are you freaking serious? If yes then, lastly, you need a friend, someone who will listen to your troubles without judging you for their idealogical misgivings about your situations. If you ever need someone to talk to PM me, I will not judge you, The Lord has blessed me with pristine apathy, therefor, heaven knows I do not care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mmajunkie Posted August 4, 2010 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2010 Go back and read each one carefully :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croyvern Posted August 4, 2010 Report Share Posted August 4, 2010 yeah I did, so how was Japan? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mmajunkie Posted August 4, 2010 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2010 I must admit, you have me confused now I loved Japan, was quite fun. I hated moving, but Germany ended up being loads of fun as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mya Posted August 4, 2010 Report Share Posted August 4, 2010 What is the first one? I get second is Spongebob Squarepants. And third is Scooby Doo. But I don't get first one? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mmajunkie Posted August 4, 2010 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2010 Star Wars Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
f0xx Posted August 4, 2010 Report Share Posted August 4, 2010 Seeing Mya's response, do I want to read this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mmajunkie Posted August 4, 2010 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2010 I couldn't stop laughing after I read the first one...the whole time I'm just thinking about how sick and twisted this guy is. Then the last line just made me bust out The Scooby Doo one is my fav though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mya Posted August 4, 2010 Report Share Posted August 4, 2010 You would be amazed how sick and twisted life can be... Don't bother F0xx, you will never get this time back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mmajunkie Posted August 4, 2010 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2010 Meanie :-P and Nah, nothing surprises me. I've seen plenty of the sickest that life has to offer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Atticus Posted August 4, 2010 Report Share Posted August 4, 2010 Junkie I have to say the Buddhists had it right when they said- " To live means to suffer." I read your first post, afterwards due to its warped material I had to follow the rest- You're knee deep in some crazy **** man. And I wish you the best of luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CurbsideProphet Posted August 4, 2010 Report Share Posted August 4, 2010 I picked up on the references only after the second post The first one, I was like.... wtf? This man is sick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Atticus Posted August 4, 2010 Report Share Posted August 4, 2010 agreed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
f0xx Posted August 4, 2010 Report Share Posted August 4, 2010 Oh ffs I read it. These have been 10 irreversibly lost minutes. And now I hate you even more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Atticus Posted August 4, 2010 Report Share Posted August 4, 2010 Oh ffs I read it. These have been 10 irreversibly lost minutes. And now I hate you even more. It makes you think about how good you have it sometimes. But at least you didn't have to pay for the drama. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mmajunkie Posted August 4, 2010 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2010 Drama? None of the stories were real. They are storylines from movies made to sound like dramatic confessions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Atticus Posted August 4, 2010 Report Share Posted August 4, 2010 This is realized- the "without paying'' was a hint hehe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ali_gmud Posted August 4, 2010 Report Share Posted August 4, 2010 What the funk is this crap. I was reading through the first part, starting to get memories from 'Joe Dirt' and shaking my head thinking how twisted you must of been. I skipped the rest to see what the comments were like, and they... yeah, screw it, and screw you!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mmajunkie Posted August 4, 2010 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2010 Anyway...we I drive these people around in my van and we solve mysteries and stuff. +1 for awesome lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brsingr Posted August 13, 2010 Report Share Posted August 13, 2010 dude how did you guys not get the first one? "when i told her our father was darth vader" pretty huge giveaway EDIT: I've seen all of these on /b/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Atebos Posted August 13, 2010 Report Share Posted August 13, 2010 I laugh at you ignorant mortals. Bwahahaha! Mmajunkie gets a +Star! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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