Implementor Volgathras Posted February 15, 2011 Implementor Report Share Posted February 15, 2011 [Despair](Leader) Volgathras: 'You really must work on your evil cackle, puppet.' [Despair](Veteran) Kurchmudge: 'You think?' [Despair](Veteran) Kurchmudge: 'More haha, or hoho?' [Despair](Leader) Volgathras: 'Absolutely. It's got the crazy bit nicely, but it's missing a sort of... flare.' [Despair](Veteran) Kurchmudge: '...' [Despair](Veteran) Kurchmudge: 'MmmmuuuuAHAHAAHAHAheee!' [Despair](Veteran) Kurchmudge: 'Any better?' [Despair](Leader) Volgathras: 'More sss I think.' [Despair](Veteran) Kurchmudge: 'I am no lizardman!' [Despair](Leader) Volgathras: 'Aren't you?' [Despair](Veteran) Kurchmudge: 'HOW dare you! You just wait... till I know what you know.' [Despair](Veteran) Kurchmudge: 'And then we'll settle it, over bridge.' Volgathras appears in a swirling mist. You tap into a Frigid Staff's mana pool and reinforce your spell. A magic pig roast suddenly appears. The air around you shimmers and crackles as reality rearranges itself, spatting forth an emaciated being. You say 'Pig Roast?' You get a magic pig roast. You eat a magic pig roast. You are full. 'Certainly,' Volgathras responds politely. Kurchmudge beams sloppily as basting drips down his face. You tap into a Frigid Staff's mana pool and reinforce your spell. A magic pig roast suddenly appears. Volgathras gets a magic pig roast. You nod at Volgathras. [Volgathras] 'Mn, not bad - not bad.' You say 'Not the best though.' Volgathras picks at his rotten teeth with a taloned digit. Volgathras peers at you intently. You show your proficiency at create food to Volgathras. You say 'I have been working on my cooking!' [Volgathras] 'So what was this about defeating me in some manner?' You say 'What's a evil ruler if he can't cook a mean pig roast?' You frown disapprovingly. You say 'You will one day realize...' You say 'Just like all the others!' 'He's...' Volgathras ponders for a moment, then snaps his fingers. 'He's an evil ruler who can't cook a mean pig roast!' You say 'That I will not settle... for this.' Volgathras nods at himself, apparently pleased with the answer. You cackle gleefully. You nod in enthusiastic agreement with Volgathras. You say 'No such thing.' You say 'There's a handbook...' [Volgathras] 'What is this.. 'this' you refer to?' You say 'Or.. .there will be.' You say 'First order of business.' You say 'Pig Roastery.' Volgathras looks unimpressed. 'Or roast pigery.' You say 'However which wayery.' You say 'EVIL RULERS can cook, it's known.' You nod. You nod in enthusiastic agreement with Volgathras. 'Is it,' Volgathras responds, his face falling in depression. You say 'I will write the handbook.' [Volgathras] 'I... I can't cook.' You raise an eyebrow at the notion. Volgathras stuffs a toe in the dirt sheepishly. Kurchmudge smiles, crossing his arms, 'Then we know who has a headstart here don't we?' Volgathras snorts derisively. [Volgathras] 'I can learn!' You say 'Show me some of that immortality garbage they're always spouting of you, and I'll show you how to turn the pig evenly.' The pig arrives from a puff of smoke. [Volgathras] 'Alright, let's try this out...' Volgathras draws his weapon. Volgathras wields Faulmoth, the Blade of Tempered Chaos. Volgathras's corruption *** OBLITERATES *** the pig! The pig is DEAD!! You hear the pig's death cry. [Volgathras] 'Ah, there we are!' You say 'You broke it.' Volgathras gets the corpse of the pig. Volgathras eats the corpse of the pig. [Volgathras] 'Delicious!' You raise an eyebrow at the notion. You say 'SUBJECTIVE!' [Volgathras] 'I prefer my meat rare.' Kurchmudge points at Volgathras accusingly. [Volgathras] 'ADJECTIVE!' Volgathras jabs a finger at you in return! You say 'ADVERBAGE! You -poorly- roasted that pig.' Kurchmudge winds up and throws a wicked index finger at Volgathras! [Volgathras] 'I did -not- poorly roast the pig, because I didn't roast it -at all!-' [Volgathras] 'HAH!' Volgathras crosses his arms over his scarred chest, nodding sagely. You say 'Well... you can write a new book on corruption cooking.' You say 'But I like FIRE!' [Volgathras] 'Writing is Herald business. Action is the verb of the day!' You say 'And verbing is the action of right now! Get another pig!' The pig arrives from a puff of smoke. You tap into a Frigid Staff's mana pool and reinforce your spell. A flaming sphere revolves around you. The pig snorts in a confused manner. Kurchmudge pokes the pig, eliciting a short squeal. You tap into a Frigid Staff's mana pool and reinforce your spell. You create a flaming arrow and send it streaking towards the pig. You fade into existence. Your flame arrow *** OBLITERATES *** the pig! The pig is DEAD!! The pig's ear is ripped off of its head. Creator gives you 8 gold coins for your sacrifice. Kurchmudge watches as the arrow enters the pigs mouth and singes it from within! You grin evilly. [Volgathras] 'Hmm...' You say 'How beautifully perfect! Don't even have to peel the little bastard!' You get the ear of the pig. Volgathras drums his talons against a pale cheek. 'Curiousitude..' You say 'Definitivity.' [Volgathras] 'I think we need an un-biased third party, yes?' You agree absolutely. You say 'If you ... want to be so proven wrong.' The Queen of Swords arrives from a puff of smoke. Volgathras looks at the Queen of Swords. You bow deeply. [Volgathras] 'Hello there, precious.' The Queen of Swords howls a mighty rage, swinging her swords ruthlessly! [Volgathras] 'Now now, I know I haven't called - I've been busy.' Skwizgarr tells you 'Ready to hunt?' The Queen of Swords spats rivulets of black filth unto the floor! Volgathras snorts derisively. Kurchmudge nudges Volgathras slightly, whispering, 'Get me one of those eh? I know this real good ... member of the Svirfneblin family if you know what I mean...' [Volgathras] 'Hardly our outside voice, darling..' You giggle. The Queen of Swords bites you! You say 'Gah!' The Queen of Swords's unholy bite DISMEMBERS you! Kurchmudge turns to Volgathras, 'She bit me!' [Volgathras] 'BAD!' *thwock!* Volgathras slaps the Queen of Swords! [Volgathras] 'BAD DEMON!' You say 'Do I have to pay you now?' Heh. [Volgathras] 'We're going BACK to ettiquette courses!' You say 'She can be dirty.' [Volgathras] 'Anyway, to the business at hand...' Volgathras looks at the Queen of Swords. You nod. You say 'Of course SHE's gonna side with your corruption malarky!' [Volgathras] 'Queenie... who's the better cook.. the master of all entropicisitudness... or this little thing here.' Kurchmudge jabs another finger towards Volgathras with seething accusation. Volgathras motions toward you. The Queen of Swords slowly looks from on to the other. Kurchmudge hugs his staff and leans towards the Queen of Blades, 'You're looking awfully gorgeous tonight...' The Queen of Swords points to you. [Volgathras] 'WHAT?!' [Volgathras] 'BLASPHEMY!!' Kurchmudge blinks once, then looks at Volgathras, howling madly! You cackle gleefully. [Volgathras] 'Back to your cage!!' The Queen of Swords disappears in a mushroom cloud. Volgathras suffers a nigh imperceptible twitch. Kurchmudge is gone. There is nothing here but an insanely enormous, smug-looking grin. Kurchmudge pokes Volgathras, 'She.... she picked me.' [Volgathras] 'GAH!' You yell 'Help! I am being attacked by Volgathras!' You parry Volgathras's attack. Volgathras's corruption DISMEMBERS you! Volgathras is in excellent condition. Kurchmudge: [===|===|===|==-] Volgathras's corruption DISMEMBERS you! Volgathras's corruption DISMEMBERS you! Volgathras's corruption DISMEMBERS you! Volgathras parries your attack. The cold touch of a Frigid Staff surrounds Volgathras with ice. Your freezing bite injures Volgathras. Volgathras is in excellent condition. Kurchmudge: [===|===|=--|---] You say 'Attitude will get you nowhere!' You say 'Closer to cooking a perfect pig!' Volgathras twitches nervously. You yell 'Help! I am being attacked by Volgathras!' Volgathras's corruption DISMEMBERS you! Faulmoth, the Blade of Tempered Chaos lunges forward glowing with a green glow. You feel momentarily ill, but it passes. Volgathras is in excellent condition. Kurchmudge: [===|===|---|---] You parry Volgathras's attack. Volgathras parries your attack. The cold touch of a Frigid Staff surrounds Volgathras with ice. Your freezing bite mauls Volgathras. Volgathras is in excellent condition. Kurchmudge: [===|===|---|---] Kurchmudge holds his staff close, 'The knowledge is all here! Volgathras is in excellent condition. Kurchmudge: [===|===|---|---] Volgathras's corruption DISMEMBERS you! Volgathras blocks your attack and attempts to strike at the brief opening. Volgathras's riposte DISMEMBERS you! Volgathras is in excellent condition. Kurchmudge: [===|---|---|---] You cackle gleefully. Volgathras is in excellent condition. Kurchmudge: [===|---|---|---] You parry Volgathras's attack. Volgathras's corruption DISMEMBERS you! You sure are BLEEDING! Volgathras parries your attack. Volgathras is in excellent condition. Kurchmudge: [==-|---|---|---] You say 'If I die! You will never know!' Volgathras is in excellent condition. Kurchmudge: [==-|---|---|---] Volgathras's corruption DISMEMBERS you! You sure are BLEEDING! Volgathras parries your attack. Volgathras blocks your attack and attempts to strike at the brief opening. Volgathras's riposte DISMEMBERS you! You are too hurt to do anything for a while. You have become better at second attack! Volgathras pants heartily, foaming black... stuff... at the mouth! [Volgathras] 'GAH!' Volgathras leaves in a swirling mist. Creator looks well upon you and grants you knowledge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts