Implementor Volgathras Posted May 1, 2011 Implementor Report Share Posted May 1, 2011 ------------------------------------------------------------ The Underworld - Issue #1 ------------------------------------------------------------ WARMASTER STRENGTH A RESULT OF INBREEDING! We've always known them a strange bunch - but never quite as strange as this. My shocking expose (sponsored by Syndicate - for more information on Syndicate sponsorship please contact me or any colleague) reveals just HOW they came to bear their arms as one of the key organisations in Aabahran (behind Syndicate - THE number one). - -------------------------------- It all began with a rumour. | Think you have what it takes to Word reached me that Battle | join SYNDICATE? Take the IAT Training Camps had been using | (Initial Aptitude Test) today experimental breeding in a | and find out! bid to improve on particular | traits in newborns. Hear is | 1. Do you have 100,000 gold an actual transcription that | coins? I took from an actual off | duty conversation from ACTUAL | 2. Do you have a bank account Warmasters: | and the facility to transfer - | gold to Chakii Showowan's Kadrinath: Same time tonight? | account? Versinus: I'd say so. It's a | shame we can't be part of the | If you answered YES to both the propsering organisation known | above then you could be in with as SYNDICATE (now employing). | a chance! Just deposit 100,000 Kadrinath: I know what you | coins into my bank account and mean. I bet they don't resort | you will be entered into the to these antics. | draw! Versinus: Same time tonight? | Kadrinath: Let's hope one of | The results will be announced us becomes pregnant so we can | as and when I decide. put an end to this. |--------------------------------- Case closed, ladies and gentleman. There was much more, suffice to say I decided against bringing it to print. Next time you see one of these Warmasters wandering the streets, turn your nose up at them. NOTE: This article does not reflect the views of Syndicate, and is in no way influenced by the current Syndicate-Warmaster war - it is grounded upon unbiased, honest research. Editor: Chakii Showowan ------------------------------------------------------------ The Underworld - Issue #2 ------------------------------------------------------------ ISTENDIL IN ELF KINGDON MASSACRE SCANDAL! The Knights may have a reputation for chivalry and good deeds, but yesterday Sir Istendil blew those perceptions right out of Newander Pond, orchaestrating a massacre of epic proportions within the Elf Kingdom. I was on hand to witness the event. "It was simply terrible!" declared one onlooker in an on-site interview just moments before Sir Istendil's communed flame- strike caused her head to ignite, her burning body rolling into a nearby field, creating a sweeping field of flame that killed within the region of several hundred farmers. ------------------------- SINGLES ADVERTISEMENTS | The onslaught continued for several - | hours. In a short break for lunch 54/Dwarf/M/Val, seeking | called by the Knight himself, I managed buxom bearded female. | to obstain an EXCLUSIVE interview: - | 2313/Illithid/N/Hive, | Chakii: So tell me, what inspired this? seeking a large-brained,| Istendil: I'd heard about SYNDICATE's intelligent partner on | raids before and thought it was a good extremely short-term | idea. I rounded up the rest of them and basis. Open-mindedness a| we decided to give it ago. must. | - | Chakii: I'm flattered. How do you fe- 362/M/Drow/Xymerria, | Istendil: Look, sorry to interrupt, but submissive male looking | I'm just going to say it. I'm a big fan for experienced female | of your work, and SYNDICATE's professional Drow dominatrix. | success is something I envy. Will you sign - | my visor? PROPERTY FOR SALE | - | Suffice to say, I signed the visor, the Bakery in Val Miran for | Knights finished their meal, and they set sale due to the local | about slaughtering the masses once more. butcher taking all the | custom. | My firm belief behind the reason for this ------------------------- change of heart is loosely connected to the recent change in Knight Idealogy, leaning towards Anume's Death Religions. I will be watching future Knight actions closely, and I will bring them straight to you, rest assured. NOTE: This article does not reflect the views of Syndicate, and is in no way influenced by deteriorating relations between myself and the Knights - Sir Istendil in particular. Editor: Chakii Showowan 'The Underworld - Special Edition' Ladies, neuters, gentlemen. I am Chakii Showowan, A.K.A Mister Showowan of Showowan Family Repute! Today, I write to you, the most gracious population of Aabahran, to ask you to join me in celebration of my ONE-HUNDRED-AND-FOURTY-EIGHTH BIRTHDAY! Wait! I hear your concerns, your queries. Let me extinguish those and replace them with EXCITEMENT! How will you celebrate with me? Those of you with vague connections to the criminal underworld will be familiar with my work, a regular news article "The Underworld", documenting the LATEST news from my own one-hundred-percent genuine research. Here are a few one-hundred-percent-legitimate testimonials! Ttlar: "I don't remember the lassst time sssomething *** important asss this was published." Istendil: "Currently petitioning for our commandments to be replaced with issue #2." Typhoeus: "Herald were morons for not recognising the most prolific writer of our time." Slinore: "HORNS!" Reavin Raal: "Issue #2 opened my eyes to the truth about Knight, and is the reason I left them!" [Hit Return to continue] Hobbes: "We do not support the works of any criminal." Grum: "Quiet Hobbes, when writing is THIS GOOD we can turn a blind eye to ANY criminal!" I am producing a one-hundred-percent-guaranteed-propaganda-free special edition of The Underworld that I will PERSONALLY see delivered to you ALL, FREE OF CHARGE! Wow! You'd think it was YOUR birthdays, not mine! Wait - that's not all. For those of you who have felt left out in missing the first two issues, worry not! On request, I will have copies printed to ANY who desire them! I know what you're thinking - "That is just typical SYNDICATE - always looking out for us." And you'd be DEAD right. Look out for SPECIAL EDITION #3 being delivered to homes soon! Chakii Showowan ----------------------------------------------------------- The Underworld - Issue #3 ----------------------------------------------------------- WATCHER SPECIAL! ARE THEY REALLY WHAT THEY SAY THEY ARE? The Watchers. Devout disciples of Gaia, or is there more to this cult than meets the eye? I visited the far reaches of Crystalmir to investigate. There are elements of this report that may disturb - those who wish to read on, you have been warned. "They were all present, muttering some chant," explained one eyewitness. "All stood around a rabbit hole. I watched that fat Dwarven one Dinh place a fiery blade inside whilst the rest muttered something about 'Opening the Demonic Rifts' and hundreds of rabbits were smoked out. Slinore was just ----------------------------- stood there, using his horns GOLD FOR GOLD! | to gore each rabbit he could | and soon a large pile formed Got unwanted gold? Want to | before my very eyes. You could turn your unwanted gold into| see the primitive excitement in COLD, HARD GOLD?! Look no | Slinore' eyes as he paced around further! SYNDICATE will now | the corpse pile, and in that take all unwanted gold coin,| instant I saw why he earned his gold jewellery, gold ingots,| nickname "Horns" - Zibask had to gold teeth, and even gold | pray to Gaia for a deluge of ice limbs! TESTIMONIAL: | cold water to, 'calm', him." Oppressant: I traded in 50 | unwanted gold coins and they| Opening demonic rifts? Potential gave me 10, COLD, HARD GOLD | disgusting behaviour with nature's COINS! I could use that to | denizens? Not what anyone suspected. take a vacation, or buy that| Other reports suggested that poor new horse I've always wanted| entrance requirements were to blame - | for the current Watchers failing to You're probably wondering if| uphold the views of Watcher. I this service is legitimate. | went in undercover as a potential Believe me it is - I traded | recruit of Sacred Oak to find out: in ALL of my unwanted gold, | and received TONS of COLD, | Slinore: Reports suggest you are HARD, GOLD, and I run this | one of Anume's Undead. Is this true? service! WOW! Is that value?| Chakii: Definitely not. I think so! We are simply | Slinore: Well, that's good enough RIPPING OURSELVES OFF! | for me. What are your views on the - | slaughter of animals? ----------------------------- Chakii: Utterly against it. At this point, Slinore shot Dinh a worried look. I was ushered out and told I failed due to 'clash of interests'. The sound of goats being sacrified to Volgathras was heard in the back room of the Sacred Oak headquarters. The proof, as they say, is in the dead animal. NOTE: This article does not reflect the views of Syndicate, and is in no way influenced by personal feud between Watcher and myself - it is grounded upon unbiased, honest research. Ed: Chakii Showowan 012345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789 ------------------------------------------------------------ The Underworld - Issue #4 ------------------------------------------------------------ COURTESAN MAYA VLONDRIL'S TEAHOUSE SCANDAL?! - Ask yourself - what are the chances of this new proposed teahouse actually being a subtle front for a large abbatoir for the living? According to statistical analysis by Syndicate researchers, the answer is a staggering 100%! It DOES make you wonder - why risk frequenting new teahouses, when the SUPERB facilities offered by our very own SYNDICATE teahouses, bars and gentleman's clubs far surpass the competition! WOW! I know where I'd take my business, infact I'm writing this very article from a SYNDICATE brothel as we speak! Don't plunge all your hard-earned coin into the pockets of one who will murder you, hang ------------------------------ you up to dry, and sell you off |Full of positive morals? Want to Fayette for even more profit... |to do good? Then make a big let US manage that at a much LARGER |difference in a less sinister fee! Master Brehan will practically |way with SYNDICATE's BRAND NEW be TERMINATING my contract of |charitable donation's service! employment in an instant once he | learns I'm giving away these JUICY |Just deposit any amount of gold trade secrets and information on |into my bank account, and I will HOT bargains! |MATCH that with my OWN, PERSONAL - |gold with a deposit towards a CHAKII SHOWOWAN SPEARHEADS |charitable cause! But what is the STORM GIANT CULLING! |charity, you ask? Nothing more than - |the... With regards to Knight Zulrith |MYSTERY SYNDICATE CHARITY! accepting his position of Captain | of the Storm Guard, I will be |What does this charity aim to do? spearheading my own campaign that |That's a mystery! AND, everybody aims to see global eradication of |loves a mystery! Don't believe me? Storm Giants. It is necessary, to |Let these influential figureheads preserve a delicate balance, and I |persuade you! Testimonials: ask you all to join me in this feat.|Xylithix: I love a mystery! United, we will see results. Do not |Vivianne: I love a mystery! let this, Knight Zulrith, act as a |Pein: I love a mystery! tyrant, and restrict you in your | duties! |WOW! With so many people loving a - |mystery, now is the PERFECT time to NOTE: This article does not reflect |donate, and feel that WARM, FUZZY the views of Syndicate, and is in no|feeling! Less morally inclined, but way influenced by risk of loss of |still want to donate? That's fine too, profit to competitors or personal |donate and know someone, somewhere, feud between Zulrith and I. |is going to die! -------------------------------------------------------------------------- [ 21] SYNDICATE Chakii: The Underworld - Issue 5 Fri Feb 18 05:09:40 2011 To: Cartel Despair Chance Death Immortal ------------------------------------------------------------ The Underworld - Issue #5 ------------------------------------------------------------ SUPER-EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH A MERCHANT! This issue is taking leave from reporting a breaking story but will return next issue with more shocking news! Today, I present to you: An interview with Merchant Lene. Chakii: So tell me about the moment you decided the life of a merchant was for you. Lene: It was like a spark setting something off in my head. I no longer wondered why everybody praised SYNDICATE for their amazing, hard work - I understood, and I knew my calling was as a Family Merchant. The thought of stealing somebody's clothing whilst they sleep and selling it back to them, or anybody else willing to buy second hand clothing. That warm, comfortable feeling you see on a child's face when they know somebody died in their new pair of leggings. I love it. I want to spread that feeling to everybody. Chakii: Sounds like you're making a real difference. How are you finding it so far? Lene: Well I'm now a legitimate businesswoman. Life is routine. Wake up, raise some gold, and then I trickle it over my naked body as I relax comfortably on my sheets made of half-elf skin. Chakii: Well just goes to show that being a MERCHANT really is all it's cracked up to be. What do you offer these LOVELY people of Aabahran, then? Lene: Sparkling wit and a dazzling smile. Suspicious herbs. Unwanted treasures, rare artifacts, information that may or may not be accurate - and much more. Chakii: WOW! I'll have it all please! I'd be a fool not to do business with you! Especially with such high levels of customer service.. Lene: Customers can always do business with me, as long as I deem them attractive enough. Chakii: Is that a service you offer? Lene: I believe business relationships are like marriage. Stay faithful and generous and it will be repaid in kind. Lene the Merchant is available to contact for any queries with regards to Merchant services. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- CALLING UPON ALL ALCHEMISTS AND PRIESTS! A very special client of mine needs your help, Aabahran. Karawan requires the help of any whose expertise will lead to the treatment of an infection of unknown origin, and it is quite affecting his skin-tone - this is not acceptable. Take it from me when I say he has quite the expendable income, and bear that in mind when dealing with him, if you have something that you believe will assist. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Editor: Chakii Showowan ------------------------------------------------------------ The Underworld - Issue #6 - SPECIAL EDITION ------------------------------------------------------------ Denizens of Aabahran, whilst my loyal subscribers may wonder why the sixth issue of The Underworld is being distributed so soon after the fifth, know that I share a tale too disturbing, too shocking, that I had to inform ALL of you immediately. I bring you: LIMJA'S TALE! I was approached by a young Elfen girl, named Limja. She brought with her a woeful tale, that I will share with you today. 'My father had set out for food, for me and my sick mother' Limja had explained. 'He had heard that the SYNDICATE herb dealer may have some nice herbs to help my mum (very true - ask any colleague for more information). There he was, purchasing, when Sir Dwimli the nasty bard came in, singing to fling fireballs willy nilly! My father, an outstanding citizen and Elf was slain in the attack.' Limja takes a small breather here, -------------------------------- to regain her compusure, and then |BEREAVEMENTS continues: | 'When I confronted him, he just |Ajtomos, burned alive in a handed me a measly few coins - |cooking accident. RIP. like that would replace my father! | I went to Knight Rolken, to ask |Zulrith, crushed by falling for aid to avenge my father, as |rocks in the tainted valley. well as my mother who had died to |RIP. sickness. He told me he would talk | to Knight Dwimli.' |Zulthian, slowly digested over 'I later found Knights Istendil, |a period of months by crystal Dwimli and Rolken inside the Halls |oozes. RIP. of Hope, and as I snuck in, I heard| them slapping Dwimli on the back |Kurchmudge, locked inside a for a job well done!' |small wooden crate that fell 'I confronted them, and was just |from a caravan onto a burning offered more coin and told me my |bridge, which collapsed over parent's weren't worth that much! |the Eridani whilst on fire for I told them I had started working |several minutes before resulting in the SYNDICATE brothel (excellent|in the near-drowning of the services, cheapest prices in all of|occupant, before the crate was Aabahran) to pay for a SYNDICATE |hauled out by outlaws that then hunter (excellent assassination |stabbed him to death. RIP. packages available) to avenge my |------------------------------- parents, and they began to harass me. The brutes told me they'd given me enough, told me they'd see me again.' Tragic. Suffice to say, Limja now wanders Aabahran without a family, thanks to the actions of a few Knights of the Crown. Cry with me, Aabahran. Let the tears flow. Editor: Chakii Showowan ---------------------------------------------------------------------- The Underworld - Issue #7 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- TRIBUNAL EMPIRE STRATEGY FAILS ALONGSIDE RHEYDIN! - Contraversial new military strategies currently being employed by Tribunal have been dubbed "absolutely useless" by top experts. There have been many stories touted about Rheydin's destruction, but I bring you, as always, the one-hundred-percent TRUTH! Today, I speak directly to Oppressant the Councillor and find out who's planning them, why they executed their most recent one, and what in rift's name they were thinking. - Chakii: So what in a nutshell, WAS the strategy? Oppressant: Well, think about it. Watcher attacks our cities all of the time. We thought if we destroyed the Rheydin outright, the Watchers would have fewer targets to strike, giving us the advantage! ---------------------------- - |POETRY CORNER Chakii: How does that work? | Oppressant: It sounded good in theory. |Rheydin has a crater, By destroying ALL of our cities, Watcher |Rheydin has a hole, would have nothing to attack, and thus |Rheyin looks like it's lived in, couldn't actually harm any of our |By a gigantic mole. infrastructure! We thought it would |----- provide us with invulnerability against |Roses are red, them! This was just the first step. |Violets are blue, - |I want to cast, Chakii: Riiiight... How did it go? |Power-word kill on you. Oppressant: Not as well as expected. We |----- didn't anticipate that the Watchers could |Have you heard the news? just target the other cities more easily, |Sir Istendil is on the booze! and that we'd just almost wiped out one |Gallons of wine, of our main bastions with no benefit. |He's crossed the line, - |In terms of alcohol abuse! Chakii: So where do you go from here? |---------------------------- Oppressant: We've moved onto another |SPONSORED ADVERTIESMENT: experimental scheme. We are planning on | poisoning all of our Blood Guard, killing |Supporter of Death? Want to them off. With no army, there will be no |see people die but pretend casualties! All the reports will show |you're doing good deeds? Look each year that Watcher have inflicted 0 |no further than a career with casualties against our forces, and that is |the Knights of the Crown! We far surpassing our yearly target of having |will show you how to murder and no more than 15% of our force being injured|maim, and make it appear to be or killed! |in the name of "The Light"! - | Chakii: Flawless! |All applicants, please visit the Oppressant: I know! |Halls of Hope! - ------------------------------ There we have it. The Empire, behind the destruction - an attempt to wipe down their mortal enemies. The result? Just another pockmark on the skin of the Earth. Editor: Chakii Showowan -------------------------------------------------------------------- The Underworld - Issue #8 - SPECIAL EDITION -------------------------------------------------------------------- KNIGHT OF THE CROWN FOUND IN RIVER! - Sir Dwimli Bladeflute, Praetorian Knight of the Crown, was today found face down in the Eridani. I went in to investigate the incident further: Chakii: What do you know so far? Zesinil: Well, we found Dwimli drowned in the river. Chakii: And anything else? Zesinil: Well, he's dead. Oh, and we found a note from Sir Istendil. It just said "Burn in the rift, Dwimli Bladeflute. This is your punishment for not joining our Death Cult. I hope you can drink... drink a full RIVER! BWAHAHAHA!" Chakii: What do you think this means? Zesinil: We don't know. Maybe it was an accident, we're still investigating. Who knows? Maybe Istendil has something to do with it.... HERALD MOPAT IN DRINK, DRUGS AND SEX SCANDAL! |---------------------------- - |LONA XILOSCIENT'S BROTHEL Notable Herald Mopat today was the centre of |REVIEWS! UNBIASED! HONEST! an Empire raid upon what at first was seen to | be a 'public disturbance'. As a group of the |"Poor customer services. Much Empire's officers entered the home of one |better at one of the many, many Rheydin citizen, Herald Mopat was found laid |SYNDICATE brothels." naked upon the floor surrounded by equally | naked Drow women, later found to be Xymerrian |"Who'd go all the way to the Elf prostitutes. Herald Mopat was not available |Kingdom for something you can get at the time for comment, managing to mutter a |delivered to your home with just barely comprehensible "Nggghphaa". |a short message to SYNDICATE?" - | Official reports show that Mopat was fined 90 |"The Dwarven women didn't have gold coins for 'disturbing the peace' and that|long enough beards. SYNDICATE's Lona Xiloscient, a renowned Drow Matron and |brothel has beards to suit all brothel owner, sent a bill totalling 9,000,000|tastes!" gold coins to cover the cost of illegal herbal| drugs, fifteen barrels of mead and eleven Drow|The reviews are in folks, and it prostitutes. |seems SYNDICATE is still the - |original and BEST! EDITOR: Chakii Showowan |---------------------------- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Implementor Volgathras Posted May 1, 2011 Author Implementor Report Share Posted May 1, 2011 Lost issue 5: -------------------------------------------------------------------- The Underworld - Issue #9 -------------------------------------------------------------------- KNIGHTS OF DEATH CONTINUE PILLAGING! "When I'm not gutting Elves with my gleaming glaive, I'm eating every last piece of flesh I can off of the bones of Halfling children." These are the chilling words of Sir Istendil, who today paraded around the wreck of the Towne of Rheydin with his entourage of Knights, kicking kittens and burning small wooden shacks. The Knights of Death, currently operating under the title of Knights of the Crown, are a secretive cult open to select members that pass their lengthy selection process. New members are told to uphold the image of honourable Knights of the Crown whilst they are covertly taught the secrets of their cult. The Knights of Death promote excessive violence as the answer to all problems (and even situations that aren't problematic in nature) and their goal is to eventually eradicate every single living creature in Aabahran in Anume's name. Recent reports (one of which was documented in ULTRA-RELIABLE newspaper The Underworld) document their raids on the Elf Kingdom, Miruvhor, Marak and Val Miran in great detail. Most recent, plans have been unveiled that show their plan to assault their own castle, only to then pin blame to SYNDICATE! Attached to the back was a sketch, evidently drawn by one of the Knights, and I have attached to this newspaper an IDENTICAL copy for you all below! *** A small sheet of paper is attached to this print *** | _ _____ | / \ / DIE!\ | \_/ <______> | __|__ PILE OF BODIES---> \//_9s | | /0-_\/0 | | | / \ /\-\s/_/\- | **** Shocking. Just shocking. EDITOR: Chakii Showowan Issue 10 not saved! -------------------------------------------------------------------- The Underworld - Issue #11 -------------------------------------------------------------------- ISTENDIL'S PLAN THWARTED BY PURITY-FOLLOWING SEAGULLS! Today, Aabahran breathes a sigh of relief as a plan of large-scale terrorism due to strike all three city-states of Aabahran is foiled by a swarm of seagulls. The Knights of the Crown were behind the terror-scheme. The Knights, who I have covered extensively in previous editions of The Underworld (back issues available for a small fee) are actually a secretive death cult that worship The Dark One, Anume. The plan was that three groups consisting of two of these Death-Knights would begin laying waste to the citizens of the cities, effectively splitting Tribunal response into three and creating little resistence for the terror units. As the units met in Haon Dor, receiving their final pre-mission brief from Sir Istendil, their Undead leader, all hell broke loose. "It were MAGICK!" one on-looker reports. "One minute, I see dese Death Knights readyin' for fightin', then suddenly all dese SEAGULLS just come flyin' down, all glowin' and stuff, and just COVER Istendil in der excrement!" This however, ladies and gentlemen, was not just any seagul faeces. It is well known that those imbued with the essence of purity utilise defecation as a means of expelling the build up of "white energy" and the Undead leader himself was doused in nothing less than harmful amounts of the stuff. The leader was taken away writhing and screaming, but all that could be heard was the din of cackling seagulls as they flew off back into the sky, their mission complete. Editor: Chakii -------------------------------------------------------------------- The Underworld - Issue #12 - SPECIAL EDITION! -------------------------------------------------------------------- ROLL UP, ROLL UP, THERE'S A NEW CHEF IN TOWN! Meat is easy to come by - name your choice. Duck, chicken, beef - it's all out there. But what if you have a taste for something a little more rare... a little... taboo? Look no further than Iiehj the Holy Knight, who under guidance from The One God, is serving up PRIME (though naturally slightly less prime than MERCHANT meat on offer) loins of Elf, Drow, Human, Ogre.. you name it, he'll cook it! For just five-thousand coins per steak, Iiehj will commune to The One God and have your chosen target flamestriked with a choice of Elf-blood sauce or Shaved-slith-skin seasoning! Contact Iiehj DIRECTLY for more information! - ------------------------------- DEMON CHICKEN TERRORISES AABAHRAN! |SYNDICATE ADMIRATION CLUB! - | Some of you have noted that recently, |"I really admire SYNDICATE and all a demonic chicken has been turning up |their hard work, but I don't know and possessing some of you. Naturally, |how to show it" is something I hear I am WHOLLY immune to this, but I felt |ALL of the time. Well your worries it necessary to report to all of you |will be a thing of the past now, out there. If you see this chicken, do |with the opening of the SYNDICATE not hesitate to cut the head straight |ADMIRATION CLUB! For just 10,000 from it, for it can and will possess at |gold coins you can be an exclusive will and the outcome could involve the |member, the benefits of which are: making of unneccessary sounds to hunting| - Expression of admiration. for corn. Be warned. | - A word of thanks from SYNDICATE. - | - The feeling of being part of FORSAKEN-LOVE REACHES TWO MEMBERS! | something. - | If you're feeling lonely, join the HIT |Testimonials: new craze sweeping Aabahran - FORSAKEN- |Sepahoona - I just can't stop time- LOVE! Enjoy a personalised profile and |travelling to the precise moment access to the HOTTEST singles around! |when I displayed my admiration to Testimonials: |Syndicate. Emotions overwhelm me! Auroch - I LOVE FARMER SARA | - |Ramahli - I made a living stealing Zerevimeel - I'm just about to invest |in Gal Ranidon, but now SYNDICATE in FORSAKEN-LOVE, because when you can |has stolen my heart! manipulate time... eternity is a long | time to spend alone. |Just deposit 10,000 gold coins into - |Chakii's bank account for INSTANT See? Mending broken hearts since Chaos, |membeship! 1304 PC! ---------------------------------- Editor: Chakii Showowan -------------------------------------------------------------------- The Underworld - Issue #13 - SPECIAL EDITION! -------------------------------------------------------------------- POETRY CONTEST WINNER! The entries have been viewed, and congratulations to Thulgan Resh'hal and the bard he beat into helping him for this gruesome piece: Travel the garden, sweet flowers of death, heads nodding, eyes gone, white bone shining, empty sockets winking at the passers-by. From small to large, the fortress looms ahead, giant-skull, intelligence showing in smoldering sockets for all eternity. Dark skull spewing fire and brimstone, flames, flickering fire, mocking the weary, mocking the brave. Cross the Killing Ground to enter between smooth obsidian walls, where the Infernal Altar awaits your homage. Step inside, and be welcome, as you have come home, home of Deaths Bringer, home of Chaos Spawn, home of Skulls Crusher, home of the Spiller of Blood. Life and Death suffer no rules, give yourself up to Chaos, its sweet embrace, numbing Pain, numbing Misery. Desperate screams for release as sweet music onto Her, the Dark One, Death and Chaos merging its voice to greater Glory. Leave behind your insignificant past, as the future beckons, join the Eternal Struggle now, let the NEXUS embrace you. ----------------------------------------------------------------- GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENTS/ADVERTISEMENTS Just want to congratulate Still looking for that Leodinak and Instia on their special somebody. If you wedding. All the best to you have sado-masochistic both. tendancies, look me up. - Vorx, Baron of Thunder - Donovan, Prince of Genzou Selling antique clock from Lone grove-keeper seeks team GEAR, excellent condition, one of bodyguards. Sick of being previous owner. No longer need jumped for my scrolls, and I to tell time as can control it, wouldn't mind so much but 12,500 coins O.N.O. 'jhyfrdow' doesn't even make - Gyrir, Will of Gods sense. Will supply gyvel potions. - All applicants considered. Small person seeks other small - Aruncus person to sit on his shoulders and wear a long coat to give the impression of being one singular, tall person. Editor: - Bligsby, Doomblade. Chakii Showowan -------------------------------------------------------------------- The Underworld - Issue #14 - SPECIAL EDITION! -------------------------------------------------------------------- KING TYPHOEUS' ENTOURAGE OF DOOM! Lock your doors, bolt your windows. Something far worse than even Sir Istendil's past cult of Death-Knights threatens Aabahran, and forgive the terrible handwriting - my hands shake even as I try to write. I do so only out of my love for the people of this land, and I feel you must be warned. You will note that recently, King Typhoeus openly admitted that he has a genocidal plan in place to rid Aabahran of every Storm Giant. Desaram was called in as his Chief Executor to begin, but the King has expanded his entourage further and now, it is a matter of grave seriousness. Today, I report word-for-word, the conversation I overheard between the King and his latest executioner. - -------------------------------------- Typhoeus: So how much do I owe | SYNDICATE LOTTERY GOES LIVE! for your services? | - | Want to win? Want to win big? Want Donovan: Nothing. I do this for | to win BIGGER than Grum and Claudis what I believe in. The Storm | stacked up ontop of each other, Giants must be destroyed at all | waving a sixteen-foot wand?! You costs. | can! - | Typhoeus: Then there will be a | SYNDICATE lottery gives YOU the chance place for you in my Kingdom, | to win 500,000 GOLD COINS! WOW! But once all of this is over. | don't just take my word for it. Let me - | provide some GENUINE testimonials! Donovan: I thank you. | - | Olgrom: I won! Typhoeus & Donovan in unison: | Travestine: I won big! ALL HAIL THE ENTOURAGE OF DOOM! | Sargeron: I won BIGGER than Grum and - | Claudis stacked up ontop of each other What move will they make next? | waving a sixteen-foot wand! I will have my eyes and ears | watching and listening for you | WOW! Congratulations to you LUCKY Aabahran, and you will find out | winners! How to enter? It's simple. Just here first. | give me ten-thousand gold coins, and I'll - | PROBABLY tell you, maybe, if you've won! - | Utterly FOOLISH not to grasp this with Editor: | BOTH HANDS!!! Chakii Showowan -------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------- The Underworld - Issue #15 - ULTRA-SPECIAL EDITION! -------------------------------------------------------------------- ONE-HUNDRED-AND-SIXTY YEARS OF SUBTERFUGE EXPOSED! Deceit. Betrayal. That is what many of you will call out, but I can bear it no longer. As my bones crumble beneath the ever-increasing weight of this unliving form, I must tell my tale before it is too late, and I am banished to the history books as a foul servant of the Dark One. What am I talking about, I hear you cry? I talk about the truth - that I am no unliving minion with a fetish for murder, but a servant of our Great Lord Amaruil, working undercover to infiltrate and destroy from within. As I write now, Master Brehan and the Dark One are likely dispatching their finest to track me down and end my existence - and yet as I write in what may be the last hours, I can confirm I have no regrets. I have had to commit foul deeds to maintain the facade and for that, I can only apologise to those affected, and inform you that it was a requirement for the greater good. I have had to make a great personal sacrifice myself, in losing my living body to The Dark One. It is time for the secret to come out. Stand with me in my final days, Aabahran. Let us fight for the glory of light! Editor: Sir Chakii Showowan, Regent of Castle and Crown Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Implementor Anume Posted May 2, 2011 Implementor Report Share Posted May 2, 2011 Small person seeks other small person to sit on his shoulders and wear a long coat to give the impression of being one singular, tall person. - Bligsby, Doomblade. This is my personal favorit of them all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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