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How do you...


Deykari

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...cope with the indescribable pain and guilt that comes when you break up with somebody? I actually feel really relieved about the fact our relationship is over, but that process of actually breaking up, seeing them angry and upset, has made me feel like an absolute ****.

Dey

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I can symp with you Dey, about a year and a half ago I ended a four year relationship. Man watching her cry was AWFUL... knowing I just wanted to give her a hug and try to make her feel better, but then still realizing I didn't want what she wanted. I moped for a month or two, then wound up meeting someone else(Will most likely be married to her soon) and getting over it since I had to move on with my life (which is why we broke up in the first place..)

Sometimes it sucks being a nice guy, I'd rather kick a puppy than break someone's heart...to the point of where you wind up in relationships that are unhealthy for you, just because you don't want to watch the other person in pain by ending it.

None of this helps I'm sure, just letting you know that you aren't the only one.

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unless you have..whats it called' date=' oh yes, empathy..and hate hurting others.[/quote']

No worries there. Inscribed's a Libertarian, after all. ;)

However, he IS right. In the end, Dey, you are doing them far less harm by breaking up with them than you would be by maintaining a relationship you do not want to continue - the longer it goes on, the worse it would be when it ended. I don't blame you for feeling guilty, but try to assuage that guilt by reminding yourself that of the options available to you, you picked the one that would cause the least harm in the long run to all involved.

Then follow Nameless's advice and have a good night of drinking or so. But not tequila - that stuff is evil in a shot glass.

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Eurgh. I've been fortunate (?) enough to have nearly always been on the receiving end, or sort of mutual. I can handle that, because it's outside my control and I just got on with it. This feels so much worse because it's my decision, not something that has just happened to me. Reading these HAS helped my reinforce my decision however, rather than make the very stupid mistake of just giving in, to end that moment's pain just for it to surface again at a later date.

Dey

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unless you have..whats it called' date=' oh yes, empathy..and hate hurting others.[/quote']

you can empathize with someone without feeling guilty. feeling guilty means you think you did something wrong. he did the right thing here, so no guilt required. :)

No worries there. Inscribed's a Libertarian' date=' after all. ;) [/quote']

libertarians = pinnacle of rationality. ;)

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