Dizz Posted November 17, 2013 Report Share Posted November 17, 2013 I knew it was coming for years and now it's here. Next spring, I'll be a single woman again. I have no interest in him anymore, but it still hurts. He even asked me why I was crying when he asked for the divorce! That says it all right there, I guess. :madg: I kind of want to date, but want it low key. I just want to move out right now, but we gotta settle a couple issues first. Had to vent. Miss you guys. I don't have it in me to PK anymore. Maybe just my husband. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pali Posted November 17, 2013 Report Share Posted November 17, 2013 *hugs* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iyorvin Posted November 17, 2013 Report Share Posted November 17, 2013 I know how this feels . I hope there are no kids to complicate it, because that made it even worse. I feel your pain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Imoutgoodbye Posted November 17, 2013 Report Share Posted November 17, 2013 I knew it was coming for years and now it's here. Next spring, I'll be a single woman again. I have no interest in him anymore, but it still hurts. He even asked me why I was crying when he asked for the divorce! That says it all right there, I guess. :madg: I kind of want to date, but want it low key. I just want to move out right now, but we gotta settle a couple issues first. Had to vent. Miss you guys. I don't have it in me to PK anymore. Maybe just my husband. *hugs* Some people are selfish insensitive pricks. If you ever need anyone to talk with in-depth, my PM box is always open. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dizz Posted November 17, 2013 Author Report Share Posted November 17, 2013 Thanks guys. My son is turning 18 this month and graduates in May. I hope the split doesn't screw him up too bad, or his grades. He is why we waited so long... that and for me to get a supporting income... which I now have. I am a dialysis nurse now and making bank! We have a lot of debt to pay off and then I can go crazy if I want to. He isn't touching my income, retirement or my inheritance if my mom passes away in the meantime. She's 80 and sliding downhill. I went to nursing school with this in mind, I wanted a good income for myself and worked my *** off to do it. BTW, I still contact juggle and learning to toss clubs now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croyvern Posted November 17, 2013 Report Share Posted November 17, 2013 well wishes, been there. Sucks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
egreir Posted November 18, 2013 Report Share Posted November 18, 2013 I'm single, lets mingle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dizz Posted March 8, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 8, 2014 hehehe Thanx ...now who are you? BTW, moved out. So great not to have Mr Negativity around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Implementor Volgathras Posted March 9, 2014 Implementor Report Share Posted March 9, 2014 Keep on kickin ass lady! You got your family here for ya. Oh, I know - let's burn an effigy of the guy. And we can fill it with fireworks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Streetfighter Posted March 9, 2014 Report Share Posted March 9, 2014 You know, I never open up about my personal life to anyone. I guess thats why I have a tough time dealing with some things because no one knows why I am depressed most of the time. I too might be looking at divorce in the face, but its me that wants one. How do you walk away when you still care about the other's safety and well being, and know that they will be ok, even when every night you are tortured with verbal abuse? I prolly shouldn't have brought this up here, but I don't talk to anyone about this stuff and it feels really stinking good to get a little off my chest. Sorry. And I hope everything works out for you. Stay strong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dizz Posted March 9, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 9, 2014 I get it Streetfighter. I was the same way. I did my crying and it's mostly done with. My ex can take care of himself. As far as your partner goes, I think the best thing you can do is make sure she has a way to support herself and then set her free. You don't deserve verbal abuse and she's not happy either if she's dishing it out. I am waiting for divorce to go through, in the meantime I moved out and that is the best thing I've done. I'm enjoying my freedom to be who I'm meant to be. He held me back in many ways. For example today, I went to work, hung out with my son, went swimming, went to a variety show, then a street fair, then RPG gaming. This is packed in more than my usual, but only work would have been possible before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magick Posted March 9, 2014 Report Share Posted March 9, 2014 I'm glad for you, Dizz. As a fellow divorcee, welcome to the club! Mine, I shouldn't have been in in the first place, but I'm better now and I'm glad you are too. I'm remarried now (to the person I should have married to begin with, but that's a different story) and we have a weekly RPG night you're more than invited to. The down side is I'm now living in the UK, so if you're in the area, drop on by. Streetfighter, it will get better. You can still care for his well being, but you need to put yours first. You don't need to take abuse in any form. It is possible that you can give an ultimatum and say to stop the abuse or get the divorce. They may get it through that they need to shape up. But you also need to make sure you set a timeline and if they've not stopped by then, then to file. Or you could make better friends than lovers. I've seen a couple friendships blossom after the divorce. It's not common, but it's possible. Or not. Your decision and I don't presume to make it for you. It's not an easy choice to make and I don't envy you at all. Both are not final. You can still get the divorce if you're unhappy and you can still get remarried if the other half stops the abuse. Good luck in either direction you choose.I'll stop now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Implementor Volgathras Posted March 9, 2014 Implementor Report Share Posted March 9, 2014 To look at it from another angle, I was young when my parents split, but I remember clearly the vitriol that was spread when they were together. I remember clearly that, when they sat me down and told they were splitting, I was happy more than anything. Looking at it from that perspective, sometimes getting a divorce is the best decision - if not for you and the other party, then for the people who depend on you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dead Voodoo Doll Posted March 10, 2014 Report Share Posted March 10, 2014 On Friday I searched the Forum for the word divorce and read this thread. Interesting that it was resurrected by Dizz on Saturday. Two weeks ago my wife asked for a divorce. After thirteen years of being together and a five year old daughter to boot. I went through a gamut of emotions the first week and still feel the crushing of life when I consider that I won't see my little girl every day. I know this is only the beginning but look forward to the day when things have eased a bit. All I can say is I feel your pain. I'm glad life is better off for you now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Implementor Anume Posted March 10, 2014 Implementor Report Share Posted March 10, 2014 Have you talked to her about the reasons, maybe a counceling may save your marriage yet... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
egreir Posted March 10, 2014 Report Share Posted March 10, 2014 Anume has been married for like 70 years. Take the advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dead Voodoo Doll Posted March 11, 2014 Report Share Posted March 11, 2014 I did, she thinks it will only prolong the inevitable and make us hate each other. She wants to do it now so that it's as peaceful a split as possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
egreir Posted March 11, 2014 Report Share Posted March 11, 2014 Sounds like she's skating around the issues. Why does she think its inevitable, what's causing her to feel like she doesn't want to be with you anymore?Just thinking out loud Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.