Descriptions?

[EtsoShex]

It's been a while since I've played FL (almost a year), and even longer since I've written a description for a character. I can get the descriptions of the items and clothing and such, but how do you go about..doing it? (I.E. in what order do you describe the character? Face, then work down? Hair, eyebrows, nose, then ears, etc.)

Thanks,

Etsoshex.

[Questioner]

I usually work from the view point of a picture critic. First you imagine standing back looking at your character from far away. Then get close and examine from the feet up. The from detailed face description to armor and weapons and any other accessories.

[EtsoShex]

That's pretty cool. I'll do that and see how things work out.

Thanks.

[Pieman]

Like questy said envisioning them is a big deal. Once that is done I usually use the same format for my descs. The first paragraph should be all the details of the char's facial featuresand hair, as those tend to stand out a bit. I begin the second paragraph with a line or two about their body stature or stance. Then the rest of the second paragraph is what they're wearing.

[Icor]

Just be sure to follow all the 'help desc' rules. You can't make the reader feel a certain emotion, and your character must be frozen in time. No "A human stands here" because what if someone looks at you while you're sitting? "He has a small smile on his face" won't work either, because what if you use the frown social? Describe the mouth bluntly. It doesn't have to be expressing anything.

Also, I'd go from the head down. The face should be the largest part of your description.

[Magick]

I work top down. And my last half-dozen or more characters have not had one ounce of clothing mentioned anywhere in the desc. Not saying you can't put it in, just that go with whatever works for you.

[Chayesh]

Just be sure to follow all the 'help desc' rules. You can't make the reader feel a certain emotion' date=' and your character must be frozen in time. No "A human stands here" because what if someone looks at you while you're sitting? "He has a small smile on his face" won't work either, because what if you use the [i']frown social? Describe the mouth bluntly. It doesn't have to be expressing anything.

Also, I'd go from the head down. The face should be the largest part of your description.

Those are good suggestions. Always remember to format and please spell & grammar check.

[Merriwren]

Just be sure to follow all the 'help desc' rules. You can't make the reader feel a certain emotion' date=' and your character must be frozen in time. No "A human stands here" because what if someone looks at you while you're sitting? "He has a small smile on his face" won't work either, because what if you use the [i']frown social? Describe the mouth bluntly. It doesn't have to be expressing anything.

Also, I'd go from the head down. The face should be the largest part of your description.

Dunno about the expression part. I like using expressions (mouth, eyes and otherwise) to help show some of my character's personality. I don't think it's that off-putting if your desc shows a friendly smile but you may frown when something else happens.

Is Bali's desc essay still around? That was pretty good at giving a general format to follow.

[Questioner]

I believe putting in an expression for the mouth actually gives your character, well, character. If I wanted a character that had a sly nature, I'd say his mouth was slashed into an evil grin, baring his serated teeth...etc. You get the idea. It doesn't have to be blunt for it to be by the rules. The most important thing to do with your description is to have fun. This IS a game right?

[Icor]

I guess someone's lips could be smiling, or frowning; that's up to you, and most descs work fine. However, I think it would paint a better picture if you said more about the lips, not really what they express.

Instead of: "These lips are thin and smiling", I would use: "These lips are thin and glossy". Same word-count, just one has more spiritual meaning, while the other is more physical.

[Designated_Driver]

Dunno about the expression part. I like using expressions (mouth, eyes and otherwise) to help show some of my character's personality. I don't think it's that off-putting if your desc shows a friendly smile but you may frown when something else happens.

Is Bali's desc essay still around? That was pretty good at giving a general format to follow.

I lost it when I reformatted my computer.

[Merriwren]

I guess someone's lips could be smiling, or frowning; that's up to you, and most descs work fine. However, I think it would paint a better picture if you said more about the lips, not really what they express.

Instead of: "These lips are thin and smiling", I would use: "These lips are thin and glossy". Same word-count, just one has more spiritual meaning, while the other is more physical.

Or both: "Her glossy lips are curved into a thin smile."

All this desc talk is making me want to roll a new char.

[Icor]

After reading On Writing by Stephen King, I seem to prefer being concise rather than flashy. But I admit, both work just fine.

[Deykari]

I generally give an overview of say, their height, or build, or any other main defining features. Then I will elaborate on points that need it, starting from the head and working down (unless I have other reason to work from the bottom up due to something significant, like having tank-tracks instead of legs).

I usually split them into two paragraphs; overview and main feature (usually the head if they don't have a 'main feature') in first paragraph, and the rest in the second. I'll add a third if there is something else extra that needs elaborating on. Try not to make your descriptions too long. Make them long enough to describe things that need describing but don't incessantly go into detail on things that just don't need it. Unless there is something truly special about your character's nose, you shouldn't need to type lines and lines about it.

And although I do fall foul and end up putting a few flashy lines in my descriptions now and again, I, like Icor, I prefer to be to concise when describing a character. Just because you're clear and concise with your descriptions doesn't mean they have to be boring or 'non-flashy'.

Just what I do anyway. My word isn't gospel.

Dey

[Iyorvin]

I'll let you in on a secret. Make a char as a desc making char. What you do is, log on and bio everyone online. Take the best line out of each of their descriptions, editting slightly to fit your race. Then bravo, you have an award winning desc!

[Deykari]

Before you is a large, winged female, standing tall at around three foot or so. His entire body is enveloped within a layer of coarse, brown fur. Further down towards her neck, past her smooth-skinned face, two eyes can be seen embedded into his neck.

Gah! Ivoryin found the secret to my award-winning description...

But seriously, that is a pet hate of mine. Looking at a desc for ideas, fine. Robbing chunks from a desc, urgh. If you want ideas, you can always ask IG to some degree. A long time ago hunting, a female halfling asked me if I thought she looked pretty, and asked me to 'recommend' some 'accessories' she should buy to 'prettify' herself further. I told her to get herself a ribbon/bow for her hair, and her description reflected that. Thought it was quite cool to RP ideas like that.

Obviously, you can't say IG though, "Hey guys, do you think I'd look better with blue or green eyes?" or "Hey, should I have two or three legs?"

Dey

[Icor]

Don't ask an evil dude though, cause they'll be like, "You, you'd look pretty with a spear stuck in your eye. Maybe some big swollen brand-marks... hehe. Hehe".

[Marc]

Haha, I remember a friends character who had a description that was approved that went something like this (he was a ninja) "before you is a hooded figure draped in shadow, you can discern little about him." and that was it.

[ajwetton]

Here's a tip: if you do the advanced character setup when you roll make sure your desc matches your bio. I've had friends who forgot what they put on their bio and didn't match it up with the desc.

[EtsoShex]

(Resurrecting post kinda)

Alright, I've got the basic idea, but how do you start the bloody thing? "Before you is a ___" is just so overdone, yunno? Anyone with suggestions? How do you start yours?

[Designated_Driver]

Here are a few examples you might be able to draw from.

Beauty. Raven-black locks of hair, enveloping a slim, pale face. Startling gray eyes, observant and intriguing. Perfectly shaped, and completely unmarred. Meticulously applied dyes give an appearance of liveliness. Vivid hues of red and black perfectly aligned, but not overwhelming. Decorative ornaments dangling from darkly gleaming tresses, jingling softly with every movement. Angelic sadness, wreathed in a frame of control and power.

Power. Tightly formed black leather, wrapped carefully about a well-muscled torso. Not so toned as to seem masculine, but neither is it frail. Dark and powerful, yet slim and beautiful. Lascivious feminine curves are outlined rather than hidden, and little is left to the imagination. Yet somehow, instead of lustful, the dark aura of dominance only seems enhanced by splendor, simply another useful trait.

Fear. Wrapped in shadow and mystery. Light seems to dim, in this exalted presence, and superiority fairly envelops a being of utter black. Radiating control, a simple existence commands respect. Charming and exquisite, but terrible in anger. The wrath of an angel, in fury and without respite. Bleakness and terror emanate sharply, in almost a scent, but before it can be affirmed, the odor is gone, replaced by dignity and authority.

An extremely tall, gentle-looking man of epic proportion stands here with a benign look on his weathered face. His skin is tinted a deep shade of blue, like a clear summer sky. A pulsing light resonates from the dark green eyes that gaze outward at the world. Shining with the luster of a polished emerald, his eyes seem to reflect as much as they absorb. Pearly white teeth glitter in a constant sparkle, rooted in a mouth always upturned in a serene smile. Like small waves, shockingly white hair flows over his rounded head, ending in a ponytail held by a worn leather cord.

Meticulously cleaned clothing is well fitted to this enormous man. His shirt swells at his chest and arms, where his muscles are clearly defined, yet his tunic seems to have been tailored to accentuate these features. A loose gray vest of an indiscernible material covers the light blue tunic that blends well with his skin. Upon his shirt is embroidered a gleaming golden sun, which seems to glow with a soft radiance all its own. Tattooed upon his right hand is the same insignia, a bright sun atop a sea of blue flesh.

Loose-fitting breeches clothe the being’s enormous legs, most likely a good eight feet from waist to ankle. Although they too have been perfectly tailored to this man’s form, an azure sash adorned with a small sapphire is wrapped carefully about his waist. Cobalt boots, shining deep with fresh polish appear to be well cut and well worn. Resting in its leather sheath upon the man’s belt is a large sword. With a hilt wider than a normal man’s hand, it would obviously take a man of this size to use this blade. Emblazoned on the pommel of the sword is a final likeness of the amber sun.

A slim, haggard looking man stands hunched over before you. Pale white flesh accentuates deeply sunken black eyes, staring sightlessly at the world around him. Swinging his head back and forth, he bears a perpetually panicked expression, giving him a vaguely insane appearance. Patches of scraggly white hair jut out of his head in every direction, messily covering numerous bald spots. An overly large nose sticks out above a sparse, feeble attempt at a mustache, the same bone-white color as what remains of the man’s hair.

A pathetic upper body matches well with the man’s unfavorable looks. Mismatched patches have holes poked through them, revealing pale, drooping flesh, with no hint of muscle or even substance. Emaciated barely begins to describe this wretched excuse of a man. His arms hang limply at his sides, seemingly completely useless. Long, yellowed fingernails jut outward from his hands, covered in dirt and grime. Similarly filthy hands end in skeletal fingers, each appearing feebler than the next.

Lanky, fragile legs extend several feet below his body, and while they should add extra height, due to his stooped posture they only make him look more disproportionate. Baggy breeches of an unknown gray material cover his scrawny legs, and are stained in numerous places. Barely covering his feet is a pair of leather boots, worn through in several spots, and giving a glimpse of his pitiful feet. By the looks of it, most of his body has never been touched by the sun’s light.

[EtsoShex]

That helps a ton! Thanks! (Also, I remember tubby Rompkei.)