Fool_Hardy Posted September 27, 2017 Report Share Posted September 27, 2017 What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do at night? He stays up wondering if there really is a dog. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manual Labour Posted September 27, 2017 Report Share Posted September 27, 2017 What did the sadist do to the masochist? Nothing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pali Posted September 27, 2017 Report Share Posted September 27, 2017 Two cows are standing in a field. One looks at the other and says "I'm really worried about this Mad Cow Disease thing. You?" The other looks back and says "Nah, I'll be fine. I'm a helicopter." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim_Reefer Posted September 30, 2017 Report Share Posted September 30, 2017 A piece of string walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Bartender says we dont serve string here, get out" The string goes outside with a pocket knife and begins cutting up his edges. He ties himself in a knot and goes back inside. Bartender says, "Hey, aren't you that string I just kicked out of here?" The string says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pali Posted September 30, 2017 Report Share Posted September 30, 2017 A duck walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and asks "Got any grapes?" Bartender says "no, we don't serve grapes here." The duck nods, and leaves. Next day, the duck walks back into the bar. Again, he asks "Got any grapes?". The bartender says they don't serve grapes, and the duck leaves. The third day, the duck walks into the bar and asks "Got any grapes?". The bartender's getting really annoyed at this point, and yells at the duck "NO, WE DON'T SERVE GRAPES HERE! And if you come in and ask for grapes again, I'm going to nail your bill to the door!" The duck nods, and leaves. Next day, the duck walks into the bar. Duck asks "Got any nails?" Bartender says no. "Got any grapes?" A black man, a Muslim, and a socialist walk up to a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "What can I get you, Mr. President?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magick Posted September 30, 2017 Report Share Posted September 30, 2017 On 9/30/2017 at 8:40 PM, Pali said: A duck walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and asks "Got any grapes?" Bartender says "no, we don't serve grapes here." The duck nods, and leaves. Next day, the duck walks back into the bar. Again, he asks "Got any grapes?". The bartender says they don't serve grapes, and the duck leaves. The third day, the duck walks into the bar and asks "Got any grapes?". The bartender's getting really annoyed at this point, and yells at the duck "NO, WE DON'T SERVE GRAPES HERE! And if you come in and ask for grapes again, I'm going to nail your bill to the door!" The duck nods, and leaves. Next day, the duck walks into the bar. Duck asks "Got any nails?" Bartender says no. "Got any grapes?" Expand Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pali Posted September 30, 2017 Report Share Posted September 30, 2017 Hah, cute, hadn't seen that before... the joke's an old one I learned back in high school. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tantangel Posted October 11, 2017 Report Share Posted October 11, 2017 I have no clean jokes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lloth Posted October 11, 2017 Report Share Posted October 11, 2017 What's the difference between people on Abu Dhabi and people in Dubai? People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones, but the people in Abu Dhabi doooooo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fool_Hardy Posted October 11, 2017 Author Report Share Posted October 11, 2017 Grand daughters name is Abuigail. My Little abby dabby doo. Children are a sexually transmitted disease, that with any luck at all are terminal. Grand children are the cure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim_Reefer Posted October 11, 2017 Report Share Posted October 11, 2017 This is a racially based joke but not a racist joke-- What did the Mexican say when two houses fell on him? "Eyyy! Get off me, homes!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magick Posted October 11, 2017 Report Share Posted October 11, 2017 I went to a club last night. They played the Twist, I twisted. They played Jump, I jumped. They played Come On, Eileen ... ... I got kicked out for that one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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