Enough is Enough

[Nympha]

For the last year, I have been struggling to get out of debt, get a job and take care of my children. My whole goal was to in one years time, find a job, be able to get a bigger than one bedroom apartment so they would have more room than sharing the one room while I slept on the floor in the living room. It was manageable but it was not the lifestyle I wanted for my children.

Over the past year, I have been continuously fighting depression, feeling majorly not capable. My step mother and my father have been telling me since as long as I can remember, "You are not all ok in the head." "You need counciling." "You need medication." Over and over. Finally they talked me into letting my children move in with them because my living environment was not ideal for two young growing children. True a one bedroom dinky 600sq ft apartment is not ideal for two young children but it is not a hazard to their health. BIG mistake on my part to let my parents talk me into this. Every month, I had to pay them child support ranging from 200.00 to 500.00 a month. On top of that, with my food stamps I not only bought food for my children, but often times their entire house hold. I went over to their house five times a week generally and would "Do my duty to my children and keep the house clean." Which generally entailed doing my step mother, fathers, sisters, and brothers laundry along with my childrens - cooking the meals - cleaning their house - on top of taking care of my children. Now, while doing all this, I had to do it during the day when my step mother worked. I would be "allowed" to go home around five pm having got there at 5 am. But this left me NO time at all to look for a job. Nor did I get paid at all for any of this work. It was all done because that is what was required of me to properly take care of my children.

I got so sick of it, I finally got a councilor which I used to talk to and sort things out. My parents were thrilled and let me go to see him twice a week hoping I would be put on medication because I "was not mentally stable". I Refused to be medicated despite their constant prodding. Over the past couple of months, I have learned to listen to people, evaluate how they make me think and learn to make solid decisions on my own. I know many people will think, well duh, we learn this as we grow up but I did not. I also had to learn to place boundries and stand up for myself.

My childhood was full of never making decisions. You did as you were told or you got a few bruises here and there. I was sheltered to the point I had never seen a dollar bill until I was 14 years old, let alone know what a Mcdonalds was. So I never learned any of the life lessons I am learning now.

About two months ago, I started toying with the idea of moving to Texas. It sounded appealing to me so I started looking into it. When I finally decided I was going to move, my step mother told me I was worse than my ex husband - who if you recall up and walked out on me and our children close to a year and a half ago and left me close to five thousand dollars in debt, unable to pay rent, bills or anything) told me I was mentally unstable - her reasoning as to why I would make such a STUPID and IGNORANT choice- and that I was not caring about my children but only myself. She also had the nerve to tell me my son was the way he was because of me (Note: My son is autistic.) So I was like...ok, maybe she is right. Stopped planning to go to Texas for awhile.

But then, you see, I was letting her control my life again. So I started replanning my move. They finally agreed to support me on th is which had me thrilled! They even offered to watch my children for two weeks which would give me time to get down to Texas and "settle in" - find a job, daycare, doctor and all that stuff down there. Then at the end of the two weeks, my parents would fly my children down to me. About two days ago my step mother called me to inform me. "Now while your children are staying with us" she told me, "You will have to pay for child care" WTH? I have never had to pay for child care before. So I ask, how much? She responds with. Well 200.00 for diapers (I am used to this amount cause diapers are expensive!) Then ten dollars an hour, ten hours a day about three days a week. Calculating that all up, she wanted over ONE THOUSAND dollars for the time my children would be staying with her! Grrrr! NO WAY! I talked to my Mother and my mother, who has been my sole shred of sanity during this whole ordeal, constantly telling me I CAN instead of I CAN'T told me basically. "I'll pay you one thousand dollars if you take your kids WITH you instead of leaving them behind!" So, plans change. On Sunday or Monday the 2nd or 3rd of July, I will be hopping in a Uhaul with my two children and my very very good friend and driving to Ft Worth Texas to get the hell away from the constant being ordered about, constant being told "You can't" "You are mentally unstable, you need help" "You are the reason your son is autistic"

I honestly beleive this will be a good thing for me and my children besides the fact, I can not stand the rain and cold anymore! Oregon SUCKS! Plus randomly running into the guy that tried to rape me when I was 15. Yah, long time in coming but I know it will be good for me and my kids! So, know you wont miss me much, but I'll be gone in a few weeks for quite some time. I don't play anymore, havent for four months, but I always thought of this forum, this group of people as my 'family' in a way. You have all been so supportive both monetarily and emotionally.

Thank you!

Angel

[J.Twendrist]

God speed. Texas may not be the best place in the world, but it certainly isn't the worst (although in the summer time the heat is a b****). Good luck with everything with the move. If you need help with childcare or what not during the day and you don't want to pay a whole lot I'll make this suggestion (it's gona sound corny I warn you). Find a Catholic Church (or probably any church, I just say Catholic because I am and it is the first that comes to mind), tell them your situation and talk to them. Even if your not Catholic or religious I am sure they won't turn you down. I'd bet my new guitar and everything I own that they could help you out in some way. Especialy if it is a bigger church. I know the one that I go to has stuff in the summer for kids all the time ( I am almost positive they still have a daycare which is free or donation if you can). All I know is they won't turn someone out in the cold (or heat as the case may be). Once again, good luck with everything.

(also they could probably help you get a decent job and stuff like that too.)

[Nympha]

Thankfully, Doc is helping me. He has found me a nice three bedroom two bath house which is affordable for me and my girlfriend who is moving in with me. She is a single mother of one child. She has a job that will transfer down with her. So, job finding I also do not think will be a problem. Doc(Deravgner) is helping me alot. I do not want to rely on charity anymore (will if I have to) but I know I can do this on my own and that is the whole point of the move. As for the heat. I am constantly cold where I live right now. I think I will just stand outside all day and bask in the heat! I am dying for some heat right now!

[J.Twendrist]

The heat gets old real quick... though I would take it anyday to the freezing cold and snow.

[Magick]

I've family ... like almost my fathers side of it, all in the DFW area. More Ft Worth than Dallas. Come to think of it, I actually have some decent contacts in that area as well from High School. I'll see what I can do for ya.

[Ghost_of_an_Elf]

Good luck, I really hope things work out for you. Don't be to proud to take help from anyone who is willing to give it. True friends are just about the most valuable thing in this world and as bad as some of us are IG, I think most if not all of us would help you if we could.

[Fiere]

My family lives in Fort Worth. I'm not there right now, going to school, but if/when I come back, I'll look you up sometime. Fort Worth rocks, I'm sure you'll do great.

[Malchaeius]

I am very happy that you are learning to stand up for yourself. I wish you the best of luck. Work hard and you will succeed. Take care.

[Zrothum]

Yea never worry about that kinda crap. My good buddy Sean told us all one night when he was drunk two things that really have stood out in life since then.

regarding money and stuff like that --

"A solution will always present itself."

regarding relationships --

"He who cares the least...wins."

wonderful what a bottle of liquor will teach you

[Nympha]

Well guys, right when I started playing again, I am gonna be moving. Sunday or Monday is the big day. Full of anticipation and majorly scared. I have never lived outside of the NW before and I am looking forward to this alot. If you want to reach me, Doc knows or will know how to get hold of me!

<3 you all!

Angel

[Nympha]

I leave in four hrs, wish me luck!

[Fiere]

Good luck!

[Teralis]

Good luck Nympha, I know you will do well. I was born and raised in Texas and it isnt to bad a place. Take care and come back eventually even if you have to log on at the library to just give us a heads up on how you are. Later.

[Grim_Reefer]

So you're moving to Dallas? Home of the Grim Reefer? W0rd.

[Psycho Child]

Good luck.