Deykari Posted October 29, 2006 Report Share Posted October 29, 2006 I was doing some thinking today (thinking is all I ever seem to do anyway), and it just occured to me how unfulfilling life can be. I have no drive, no real passion for anything that I do in my life. I have a financially sound career before me, but I can only just tolerate the work that I do (and I cannot think of a career that I would enjoy, that would at least provide me with a comfortable wage). I have no real hobbies anymore, because when I pick something up, I generally end up losing interest and just aren't motivated to keep the hobby up. I even quit a band that was doing very well around Engalnd, simply because I began to lose interest for playing the guitar. My life at the moment, is nothing but working all weekdays (and FLing/going to pub on weeknights) then blowing most of my wage on going out to clubs, parties and bars on a weekend. I would say I am living for the weekend, but it's reaching the point where those weekends just aren't worth the tedium of work - I still enjoy going to bars and clubs and everything, but the next day, the whole experience always seems very unfulfilling (I don't mean the hangover, I just mean the night before seems unfulfilling, in hindsight), yet by the next weekend I do it again because by then I'm back ready for it. As for life itself, I have no life-goal other than to want to live a happy, comfortable life, and eventually settle down with a family. No drive or ambition for anything else, really. Don't really know why I'm posting this other than feeling the need to vent my thoughts somewhere, because all I ever seem to do is think and think about everything and I end up living inside my own head (don't ask me to keep a diary, tried it, kept about two entries, lost interest and forgot about it). I'm not depressed or anything, I'm a very happy person, optimistic person. Sometimes though, I just wish there was that 'something else'. Anybody else ever get that feeling? Dey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Polk Posted October 29, 2006 Report Share Posted October 29, 2006 Always, and everyone needs somewhere to vent, maybe not the same feelings your having, but similar within reason. When I first started playing Fl, I played all the time, I guess mostly for the excitment of a new char at 50, learning some new things about classes or finding some new eq, so I spent most of my time either playing Fl or working. I've been playing since 1.0. I think I started when I was about 25, 30 now and still playing. I've been setting alot more goals lately, do to, as you said, thinking. I make more plans with my girlfreind and family. Its not that they were'nt more interesting than Fl or anything like that, just that I was so curious and excited about playing. My girlfreind's brothers really were the ones who got me playing, now both of them don't really play, they've join the WoW band wagon, and practically quit entirely. I don't really go out to bars/clubs anymore, just seem like a waist of time to me, I can drink at home with my girlfreind. We really don't have any plans of marraige just yet, and were not working on a family. We're just having alot of fun together right now, and enjoying living away from our families, although they are still very involved in our lives. Alright, thats all Im'll vent fa now, don't really wanna draw this out like I'm tired of life or some crap like that (because I'm not) but you always want more somewhere in the midst of how your living at the moment..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deykari Posted October 29, 2006 Author Report Share Posted October 29, 2006 Yeah, I see what you mean. I enjoy life, I'm happy, I have a balanced social/work/MUD life, but I just feel like I've been in a motivational slump for the last, I don't know, three, four years? I just feel like I'm not really "living" life, yet knowing that isn't even enough to motivate me? Am I just very really lazy? Maybe. Dey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iyorvin Posted October 29, 2006 Report Share Posted October 29, 2006 This is what happens when you base your life off of trying to have sex. Your soul eats your morals, and what parts it leaves intact the beer drowns. Wait, we're talking about you..........oh, I have no idea. I don't have good advice. JOIN THE ARMY! It'll make a man out of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deykari Posted October 29, 2006 Author Report Share Posted October 29, 2006 Subtle burn. I had it last night Although it was with a plastic inflatable doll. I did actually consider the army a while back, but I'm skinny and weak (I can just about manage 10 press-ups), I'd be out of place. Dey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zrothum Posted October 29, 2006 Report Share Posted October 29, 2006 This is what happens when you base your life off of trying to have sex. Your soul eats your morals' date=' and what parts it leaves intact the beer drowns. [/quote'] I see nothing wrong with this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deykari Posted October 29, 2006 Author Report Share Posted October 29, 2006 I do - that line holds the assumption that alcohol has to be consumed for one to get laid. Dey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zrothum Posted October 29, 2006 Report Share Posted October 29, 2006 No, but I probably wouldn't have taken home some of the ones I had if it weren't got those damnable beer goggles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iyorvin Posted October 29, 2006 Report Share Posted October 29, 2006 Why not? It's all about what's inside that counts guys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zrothum Posted October 29, 2006 Report Share Posted October 29, 2006 Yea, but once they're INSIDE the house, you don't have to spit that line anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iyorvin Posted October 29, 2006 Report Share Posted October 29, 2006 I didn't really mean it as what's inside their heart Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pali Posted October 29, 2006 Report Share Posted October 29, 2006 I'm actually also in a fairly similar situation. I'm a college student at UW-Madison in Wisconsin, doing enough work to get by and keep my dad paying tuition, but when it comes to actual events in my life... nothing's happening. I go to class, I play video games, I smoke a lot and drink on the weekends with my roommates... but I'm doing all right in school not because I care to, but because I enjoy being here more than I enjoyed being back home. I don't have a major selected, nor do I have any that are really making me think "Oh yeah, that sounds awesome". I spent the two years between high school and college working, feeling like my life was on hold, and college hasn't really changed that a huge amount. Some new people, but I don't have any close friendships growing. I'd love for that to change, just I can't figure out how to change it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deykari Posted October 29, 2006 Author Report Share Posted October 29, 2006 I'm actually also in a fairly similar situation. I'm a college student at UW-Madison in Wisconsin' date=' doing enough work to get by and keep my dad paying tuition, but when it comes to actual events in my life... nothing's happening. I go to class, I play video games, I smoke a lot and drink on the weekends with my roommates... but I'm doing all right in school not because I care to, but because I enjoy being here more than I enjoyed being back home. I don't have a major selected, nor do I have any that are really making me think "Oh yeah, that sounds awesome". I spent the two years between high school and college working, feeling like my life was on hold, and college hasn't really changed that a huge amount. Some new people, but I don't have any close friendships growing. I'd love for that to change, just [b']I can't figure out how to change it. That last bit in bold about sums up what I'm thinking too. Dey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WarriorCleric Posted October 29, 2006 Report Share Posted October 29, 2006 You're not alone Dey, not at all. I make enough money to support my college lifestyle, and for whatever reason it seems I am picking up another job for the weekends that pays quite a bit more, not because I need to, or because I really want to, but just because I really don't do anything else but wander on the weekends, so I might as well get paid for being me. Right now I live for tuesdays and thursdays, from 8-10 in the morning, it's the Uni's Judo class. That four hours a week is the highlight of my life right now, but what I don't get is why I don't goto the night classes. If I really was focused on getting better I would show up to the advanced classes, but I don't, and I'm not sure why. As far as the rest of school I just don't care anymore. I show up to classes sometimes, I do all my homework now, which I never did before, but I do it because I've really got nothing else to do. It's my fifth year of college and I guess I am changing my major again, I should graduate in the spring, but who knows, and who cares. I spend all day in my room in my apartment with my door shut, all my friends graduated or just ****ed off for one reason or another, so I pretty much just spend all day by myself. The highlight of my social life is going to Wegmans and chatting up the Cashiers, but I don't feel a real need to go out and make new friends. Once the spring comes and goes, I don't know what I'll be doing, I always figured I'd move back towards home and find work, but now I'm not so sure. That neck of the woods is really different now, and I can only be home for a short while before feeling like I need to move on. And I am like that with everything lately, I find something I can enjoy and I enjoy the hell out of it until I suck it dry, and then I need to move on to something else. I don't know much about the psyhcology of it all, but in labor econ, we explain all this garbage as the costs of our leisure life are increasing, but the gains are staying the same, or decreasing, or not increasing at the same rate as the costs. So you have the same fun going out on the weekend, but after the weekend you measure it all and it's not as fulfilling. Basicly you are no longer maximizing the utility of your leisure life. The economic answer to all this? People will change to find the optimal point. Bastards never say how, but I find it a little soothing knowing that their is a perfectly rational, mathematical, explanation, for feeling empty. I think for me it's I just don't want to believe I could be someone else than who I was five years ago, or some other philosophical expression for; I just don't want to grow up yet. Maybe it's something different for me, but I know where you're coming from, it sorta sucks but it doesn't. I've been talking to my bosses, my teachers, etc. about it, and it seems everyone goes through this **** at some point or another. WC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Polk Posted October 29, 2006 Report Share Posted October 29, 2006 I don't have good advice. JOIN THE ARMY! It'll make a man out of you. Been there, did that already many years ago, did my 4, discharged and started school. Been going to school ever since, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chief Posted October 29, 2006 Report Share Posted October 29, 2006 Life is what it is I guess, But least I have FL. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fiere Posted October 29, 2006 Report Share Posted October 29, 2006 Maybe what you guys need isn't a passion, but a purpose. For example, everything else in my life revolves around my religion, which is at the core of the person that I am. I'm not saying you need to go out and get a religion, but just a purpose. You know, save the whales, or something like that. Life will always be passionless until you find something that's more important than life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
One Way Up Posted October 29, 2006 Report Share Posted October 29, 2006 Everyone feels that way now and then, like previously mentioned. I'm a Christain(at least, I try to be), which gives my life purpose. I'm in no way trying to push you into a direction that involves a spiritual life, but rather, trying to give some sort of help to anyone. I can go on and on about it, but the basis of any sort of belief is, basically, to add purpose to a persons life. To me, the scariest thought of when I die, is not going to Hell, is being totally blinked out. I can say that without experiencing what Hell will be like, but just the thought of it all just -ending-. It's a pretty grimm thought, and really adds alot of impact into the phrase, "What's all this for, anyway?" That's why I refuse to believe that we aren't just phased out, and that my service to God here on earth will be rewarded when I pass from this world(or dimension, whatever). There's alot more than just being rewarded, but it's something that can rarely ever be explained to a point that will make someone understand-only experienced. Man, just try and press on to better times. I've been struggling with that myself, lately. Largely due to the fact that my prayer/reading life has been dwindling greatly, in my case, though. It's kind of a crappy thought to think that we go to school to get a good job/have the experience, and then on to work a majority of our life, and then grow old and die. 70-80 years here on Earth is only a blink of an eye compared to Eterenity, but even less so than just not existing afterwards. You also hear similar stories(at least, I do) from a bunch of people who say that never feel satisfied/complete without some sort of relationship with God. Throw in to that equation famous people who literally could have anything they want, and it takes on a little bigger meaning. Hang on in there and give it some time, and these crappy feelings will all go away in one way or another. Roll up a paladin or something and try playing a good guy for a bit and see if that helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zrothum Posted October 29, 2006 Report Share Posted October 29, 2006 Yea man, and if all else fails, hey, there's always suicide. I'm kidding..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
One Way Up Posted October 29, 2006 Report Share Posted October 29, 2006 I think he just means delete delete, and roll something else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zrothum Posted October 29, 2006 Report Share Posted October 29, 2006 Nah, it's just what I tell all the emo kids who say their sucks so bad. Emo - "My life sucks so bad." Me - "Sounds like a knife to the wrist is your only hope." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
One Way Up Posted October 30, 2006 Report Share Posted October 30, 2006 Reminds me of a joke I heard the other day. Something else to say to your Emo compadres. "I wish my grass was emo so it'd cut itself." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pali Posted October 30, 2006 Report Share Posted October 30, 2006 Well, religion won't help me much. I'm a rather staunch atheist, and I don't see that changing any time, soon or later. Purpose isn't what I need. I have purpose. In this case, honestly, what I do need is passion. I need to find two things: a major that I'll really love, and some people to form close relationships with here. The latter is rather difficult, and is causing me far more stress than the former. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeleeCrazy Posted October 30, 2006 Report Share Posted October 30, 2006 Life will always be passionless until you find something that's more important than life. I've always tried to avoid thinking like that.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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