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Generating character names.


WagesofSin

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Found this on a generic gaming site and figured I'd share: *note it's meant for D&D but works here too*

This recalls my own attempt at providing gamers with a name-generating resource:

Hey, kids! If you're new to fantasy gaming, or are ghost-writing a fantasy novel for some aging TV star that needs supplemental income, don't kill yourself trying to come up with brilliant, imaginative new character names! Instead, simply follow these common conventions. After all -- tens of thousands of fantasy authors, RPG gamers, and fan-zines can't be wrong!

Elf:

First name contains lots of vowels, Y's, I's, L's, and S's

Last name combines an organic color with an item of flora

Dwarf:

First name sounding guttural, lots of U's and G's

Last name combines two of the following: precious metal, weather occurrence, type of dwarven weapon/armor, or building material

Paladin:

First name sounds chaste and pure

Last name includes a synonym for valor/strength/purity and some piece of weapon or armor

Halfling:

First name implies that short people are funny and can never be taken very seriously

Last name involves feet, hair, small woodland animals, and/or small plants/weeds

Cleric/Priest:

(See entry under "Paladin", assuming the priest is good-aligned)

Last name involves sacred rituals, sanctimonious prayer, vengeful smiting, maces/hammers, or anything you might find in the Gideon Bible at the local motel

Wizard:

First name sounds very eldritch and contains lots of X's and Z's

Last name is an adjective or color, preceded by "the"

Gnome:

(See entry under "Halfling")

Last name involves gears, sprockets, mechanical occupations, or overly-intellectual people

Barbarian:

First name should be one-to-two syllables and sound like pulling a boot out of thick mud

"the Barbarian"

Half-orc:

First name sounds like ball-bearings being sent down a garbage disposal

Last name sounds like ball-bearings being sent down a garbage disposal

Ranger:

First name sounds organic but hints at dependability

Last name involves arrows, forests, sleek animals, or any shade of the color green

Druid:

(See entry for "Ranger", only make it less sexy )

(See entry for "Elf", only make it less sexy)

Thief/rogue:

First name is short and uncomplicated, such as the shortest possible way into a locked vault

Last name combines shadows, slinking, underhandedness, and pragmatism

So, are we ready for our practical exercise? Let's make some names!

Elf:

Yssillia Greenvine (note: a runner up for this submission was "Orlando Bloom")

Dwarf:

Thogurdin Thundergold-Stoneaxe

Paladin:

Monogama Boldshield

Halfling:

Runty Squirrelthistle

Cleric/Priest:

Immaculous Wrathhammer

Wizard:

Xziazviar the Redly Mysterious

Gnome:

Stunty Tinkergeek

Barbarian:

Gork the Barbarian

Half-orc:

Kralzk Brgumphgrr

Ranger:

Fidelis Mossyshaft

Druid:

Floret Cricketfriend

Thief/rogue:

Zitt Darkpath

So, you see, kids? It's not so hard as you think! Your next blockbuster novel is only three-hundred forty-nine pages away, so get cracking!

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Elf:

Yellows

Spinegreen

Dwarf:

Ugauga

PewterCement

Paladin:

Chastity

Belt

Halfling:

Goober

Ratfoot

Cleric/Priest:

Ivory

BaptismSmiting

Wizard:

Xerox

the White Page

Gnome:

Bubba

Loosegear

Barbarian:

Phoosh

"the Barbarian"

Half-orc:

Crunch

Knudkl

Ranger:

Leaf

Groundhog

Druid:

Stone

Grassolive

Thief/rogue:

Hal

Sewerslink

;)

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