H&R Posted February 1, 2007 Report Share Posted February 1, 2007 Azyi is a good looking woman appearing to be in his mid-thirties. She has many outfits to wear but is most commonly seen in plain tan clothes, consisting of: low soft boots, loose-fitting pants tied at the waist and below the knee, a white shirt also loose-fitting and silver skullcap etched with runes of a long-dead language. Her skin is richly tanned, but not worn or aged. She carries a backpack over her left shoulder of some type of animal skin, a staff in her right hand, and wears several pouches on her belt. When travelling discreetly, she also dons a grey hooded cloak and keeps most of her face hidden deep within the hood so the skullcap is not visible. Sorry, but I just died laughing when I saw that. (don't respond to this, whoever you are) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheNewGuy Posted February 1, 2007 Report Share Posted February 1, 2007 Question is, who approved that desc... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WagesofSin Posted February 1, 2007 Report Share Posted February 1, 2007 Heh, they probably did the thing where they reuse old descriptions by keeping the same format but just changing an adjective here and there. *wonders if other people do it* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheNewGuy Posted February 1, 2007 Report Share Posted February 1, 2007 I don't think I have done that ever, actually. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goomf Posted February 1, 2007 Report Share Posted February 1, 2007 I've done it so many times. Won a dragon almost each time also You can tell this desc was made by a high school student. They teach you to make a statement than expand on it in a paragraph. It's an introduction to have a flow going in a paragraph. For whoever made this description: Start off strong. For instance, I would make 3-4 paragraphs for my desc. I start from the top of the figure then go down. "A halo of crusted blood spills down from blackened stitches attaching his scalp to his forehead. Thin trails of wispy hair sticks like a crown, each tip frazzled with jolts of arcane magic. Pools of luminescent yellow eyes stare out of empty eye sockets. Multiple chins of skin form under the eyes, a clear indication of the insomnia that plagues this maddened creature." On a sidenote: When I wrote my college applications, my brother advised me to stop explicitly stating everything. I didn't understand it back then. Through the words and sentence structure of the paragraph, you should be able to paint a portrait where the reader says 'ah, he's talking about this!' without having to explicitly state 'I'm going to describe the face.' etc. etc. etc. See, from the very top I introduced a very explicit description. If I polished it up more and added more sentences and descriptions, readers will clearly see that the description implicitly expresses parts of the face and head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheNewGuy Posted February 1, 2007 Report Share Posted February 1, 2007 I think it's fine except this... Azyi is a good looking woman appearing to be in his mid-thirties. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goomf Posted February 1, 2007 Report Share Posted February 1, 2007 Oh I didn't catch that. Just some advice in my post to make a better desc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nomak Posted February 2, 2007 Report Share Posted February 2, 2007 haha oh god I know who plays Azyi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marc Posted February 2, 2007 Report Share Posted February 2, 2007 She has many outfits to wear but is most commonly seen in plain tan clothes When travelling discreetly, she also dons a grey hooded cloak Shouldn't a description be like looking at a picture of someone, how can you say sometimes she wears this and sometimes she wears that if you you are only seeing them now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HBwillie Posted February 2, 2007 Report Share Posted February 2, 2007 give her a break. i'm sure imms are taking care of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marc Posted February 3, 2007 Report Share Posted February 3, 2007 Sorry, wasn't meant to be condescending or anything. Just stating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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