brsingr Posted April 24, 2007 Report Share Posted April 24, 2007 anybody know any? i thought back to my ex girlfriend, and couldn't help but laugh; i passed her in the hall, and the conversation went like this. me: Hi. her: Hello. You're fired. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mudder Posted April 24, 2007 Report Share Posted April 24, 2007 Ouch. Not a cool way to dumb someone. I tend to take the a$$ hole approach and stop calling unless I want something. (This is for dating, of course. I'd be much nicer to a girlfriend.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baby Hippo Posted April 24, 2007 Report Share Posted April 24, 2007 break up lines... no but i have tons of pick-up lines. One break-up (maybe) Has anyone ever told you, "you look beautiful" - They lied. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dizz Posted April 24, 2007 Report Share Posted April 24, 2007 Ouch. Not a cool way to dumb someone. People don't like being dumbed.... One I sorta had. Um, there's guys in white coats and they're here for me. Later he started calling me collect from a mental hospital. :eek: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EyeSeeU Posted April 24, 2007 Report Share Posted April 24, 2007 wow... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Malanith Posted April 25, 2007 Report Share Posted April 25, 2007 "I'm sorry, but I need to trade you in for a newer model before the warranty runs out." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tantangel Posted April 27, 2007 Report Share Posted April 27, 2007 Not really so funny, but it went like this: Me: I like you. (after going out on a few dates and such) Her: *3 minute pause* You need to start hanging out with instead. I'm sure someone will find that one funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dobson Posted April 27, 2007 Report Share Posted April 27, 2007 Guy vs. girl It's not that I don't love you, I do love you.....Well....I love you when your mouth is shut. It never shuts. Girl vs. guy I'm going out with your best friend, don't wait up for us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyzarius Posted April 27, 2007 Report Share Posted April 27, 2007 "Sorry your getting old, no..not like a fine wine, more like moldy bread." "Sorry babe, your getting to be like last years PC, slow, outmoded, and too damn expensive to upgrade" "They say when a relationship goes long the sex gets worse, i think we should quit now before we start reporting a quarterly loss" "I have sold this agreement to a general pool of analysts. Please feel free to discuss it with them" "Remember that X you hate!! well you two have much more in common now" Of course no breakup is really "funny" heh, least not your own...i am so glad i never have to date again. My wife and i both are too damn stubborn to ever give up on each other. She would kill me first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deptore Posted April 27, 2007 Report Share Posted April 27, 2007 Was hanging out with some friends and tried to hand her the football, she'd been complaining and nagging all day she says:I don't want that me: well fine I'm breaking up with you her: what? me: I'm joking I'm joking her: ok ok me: I'd never give you my football, go away her: why me: well it's not me it's you her: "cries and runs away" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest emp_newb Posted April 27, 2007 Report Share Posted April 27, 2007 Yea, I slept with your mom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zrothum Posted April 27, 2007 Report Share Posted April 27, 2007 That's what I had to tell my co-worker the other day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfdude Posted April 27, 2007 Report Share Posted April 27, 2007 Sorry babe I hooked up with a stripper I met on the greyhound.* *Got to use this tuesday Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WarriorCleric Posted April 27, 2007 Report Share Posted April 27, 2007 'You were depressed and I don't want to deal with you when you're like that.' Then she hung up the phone. (it was one bad week... and I challenge anyone to go through that week and be in cheerful, overjoyed, jollyness. And seriously, over the phone? She tried to do it on AIM, but I called her when it went in that direction) I was laughing so hard I started to cry... Yeah, I guess you had to be there, but I learned later that what she had meant to say way: 'I'm a lieing whore and I've been ****ing your friends when I've been telling you I've been studying/practicing.' WC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kinicky Posted April 27, 2007 Report Share Posted April 27, 2007 'I'm a lieing whore and I've been ****ing your friends when I've been telling you I've been studying/practicing.' That's a good breakup line too... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kinicky Posted April 27, 2007 Report Share Posted April 27, 2007 Funny how this started off as a fun gag (a la pickup lines), and became "Let me show you how screwed over I/my ex got." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kinicky Posted April 27, 2007 Report Share Posted April 27, 2007 HE: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours! SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours! HE: Hi! Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice? SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice! HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance? SHE: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too! HE: How did you get to be so beautiful? SHE: I must've been given your share! HE: Is it hot in here or is it just you? SHE: It's hot! HE: I'd go to the ends of the earth for you! SHE: Okay, but would you stay there? HE: Will you go out with me this Saturday? SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend! HE: Your face must turn a few heads! SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs! HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out! SHE: Okay, get out! HE: I think I could make you very happy! SHE: Why, are you leaving? HE: What would you say if I asked you out on a date? SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time! HE: Can we go and see a movie? SHE: Sorry, I've already seen it! HE: Do you think it was fate which brought us together? SHE: Nope, it was plain bad luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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