Curse of the Bigglewance

No doubt you've all been curious as to the title of Athraeil Stiple, Duke of Val Miran. "Slave to the Bigglewance" is his known handle, but why? This was precisely the question I asked, and the following is the story of it's conception.

Twas Val Miran, 445 PC when a nondescript gnome was spied amidst a crowd of onlookers. Said gnome had garnered attention through his discourse regarding the system of time referred to as Bigglewances. Apparently, these units of temporal measurement are used in the gnomish society to time such things as harvests. However, try as they might, no one could seem to convert the Bigglewance in to our normal scheme of minutes and hours.

To make things more complicated, this short lecturer could not, apparently, see very well. He would constantly and without fail misconstrue the race and gender of everyone present. This is where our protagonist Lord Athraeil comes in. Unfortunately for the Duke, the gnome had mistook his human frame for that of a gnomish woman. Regardless of how this could possibly have been accomplished, the blind visitor wasted no time in wooing and courting Val Miran's star-crossed royal.

During this drama, someone had the notion of inquiring of the gods for their expertise. In response, Bryntryst of the Balance revealed himselves to those gathered. Unfortunately, they offered no assistance in clearing up the Riddle of the Bigglewance. However, they did concoct a plan that would free Athraeil of his clingy gnomish lover. The Split Immortal commanded that a peanut butter cookie, a bottle of milk, and some herbs be brought immediately to their locale for their plan. And so they waited , and waited.

And waited. Eventually the ingredients were brought before the dual god.... And he promptly ate of the cookie, and drank of the milk. Those who had been waiting marveled at this exceptionally normal occurrence. All this because they were hungry?! But no, the ritual was not complete, for the glass of milk was dropped to shatter in to a million glassy pieces, and then gathered to be mixed within the herbs. Athraeil then took of this brew a little bit, and ingested it. He promptly became a gnomish female.

Needless to say, this was a source of much embarrassment for the duke, and much humor for those watching. However, the ultimate goal was realized, and the gnome that had been incessantly pestering poor Athraeil saw him then as an elf, and left in disgust. It was then told to Athraeil that, for Fifty-six Bigglewances, he would remain in his piteous state, returning to his original form once said time was complete. He was not happy, and neither was his wife.

And so it was, with this scenario, that Athraeil Stiple of Val Miran became known as the Slave to the Bigglewance. To this day he remains pestered by curious adventurers and nosey scribes, and it is unknown whether or not he shall ever live down his ... Prestigious title of Slave to the Bigglewance, and the story behind it.