Remember: drow society is matriarchal. That means you don't bonk the females; the females bonk you. And unless you (meaning the male drow) are already taken by a different, more highly placed female, if the female wants to bonk you, you have no choice to accept. Refusing the advances of a priestess is a capital offense.
As for male-on-female rape, rape is not only unthinkable, it's also almost impossible, as female drow are larger and stronger than male drow; sexual dimorphism which tends towards the females, as opposed to the males.
I think the problem is that many people just aren't aware of these things, and instead classify things in simple ways. For example:
Fire giant: Dumb evil.
Drow: Smart evil.
Duergar: Grumpy, greedy evil.
And so on and so forth. There's no real appreciation for the history, culture, and lore of each race, which leads to this. Part of this, of course, is due to the fact that the help files are not extremely in depth.
