Remember: drow society is matriarchal. That means you don't bonk the females; the females bonk you. And unless you (meaning the male drow) are already taken by a different, more highly placed female, if the female wants to bonk you, you have no choice to accept. Refusing the advances of a priestess is a capital offense.
As for male-on-female rape, rape is not only unthinkable, it's also almost impossible, as female drow are larger and stronger than male drow; sexual dimorphism which tends towards the females, as opposed to the males.
I think the problem is that many people just aren't aware of these things, and instead classify things in simple ways. For example:
Fire giant: Dumb evil.
Drow: Smart evil.
Duergar: Grumpy, greedy evil.
And so on and so forth. There's no real appreciation for the history, culture, and lore of each race, which leads to this. Part of this, of course, is due to the fact that the help files are not extremely in depth.
What if (and if you like this, let me know and I'll post it on the idea page) we opened up an extension to the webpage/forum that is an RP wiki. In the wiki we would have all the great RP stories of the different ages of Aabahran, but we also have the ability to write Rp backgrounds to the different classes and races AS WE SEE THEM IN AABAHRAN. This would be player written and moderated, with the forum moderators having the ability to delete/edit any RP definition that may hint too much at qrace skills/abilities.
As an example of such a Wiki, check this:
http://www.hollowgame.com/wiki/Races_of_Hollow
(Click on the race title to see more in-depth RP info)
What do you think?
I like this wiki idea, although I think it would be a lot of work for the staff. But hey, it would be worth it!
Anithraril! Get working on the timeline you old man! 
I think the Wiki idea is an EXCELLENT idea, but I have no idea as to how to set one up. Or, for that matter, what would the cost be?
There's no real appreciation for the history, culture, and lore of each race, which leads to this.
hah, exactly how I feel everytime I read an illithid desc that reminds me of squidly didly. 